Need to stop being mardy crow!

Sending hugs, I totally understand and it hurts xxx

Narnia I only just saw your post. So you already had the kick up your backside . I take DH means darling husband. Your birthday may not have gone the way you wanted but at least you have your husband.
I spent my 46th crying most of the day as my husband died 2 months before.

dalrymple23

What in the name of heavens does "mardy crow" mean?

Sulky, petulant!

What in the name of heavens does "mardy crow" mean?

I'm 75 and lucky if I even get a card from my adult son and family. This year it was a 10second Whats App greeting from thegrandchildren saying "happy birthday". I add that despite their having taken three long holidays (2 abroad) this year, they ghave yet to visit me. Haven't seen them since before Christmas last year and probably won't see them at all this year. They live 4 hrs. drive away. Am I miffed? Too right I am. Not much I can do about it so I'm just grateful i have thoughtful friends and neighbours. Family? When they behave like this, - Who needs them,

Thanks all, I've got over myself now!

I haven’t heard the word ‘Mardy ’ for years and years since I lived in the UK so thanks for the blast from the past Narnia! Hope you are feeling better now.

Narnia

I have seen another thread "comparison is the thief of joy"
We planned a lot of surprises for my dh and it wasn't the same for me. I suppose that's caused my dummy throwing

But this is exactly the point I think ...
you were the reason the treats happened!

Maybe plan your day yourself next year?
...and then tell the family your plans!

DH and I don’t do much for birthdays, ‘special’ or otherwise (can’t really see why a birthday ending in a nought is special) so forgive me if I don’t understand your disappointment. It sounds like you’re unhappy because you didn’t get as much fuss made of you as your husband did. Obviously you’re entitled to feel that way but wasn’t your dh’s holiday for you too? Our lovely dc bought a break in this country too but for jointly for both our birthdays (because they do like birthday fuss ). And you also had a lovely family holiday abroad since then even tho you paid for it. Why would you expect some sort of recompense for that if you were happy to pay for it.
yes i didn't expect my dcs to go overboard, but we did pay for the accommodation, transfers etc for our hol.
If it’s really the problem that DH didn’t try too hard well my DH ‘surprised’ me for some years with things that weren’t really to my taste. Now I buy a my own small gift and he wraps it, win win for both of us. Please don’t upset your family with this - you did after all meet up with DD and DS - put it behind you or you run the risk of sounding entitled and ungrateful.

Narnia
My DH really panics when it comes to my birthdays, Christmas and anniversaries as he simply cannot think of what to get me. Bless him, he’d spend a million pounds ,if he had it, to get me something I really liked but he can never think of anything. He gets really stressed so I now give him a list of things I would like or would like to do. Sometimes I really would love a nice surprise but I have learned not to expect one. So, in future, perhaps draw up a list or drop heavy hints.
At least you have your free doughnut, enjoy. - there wasn’t a doughnut emoji! and have a good nights sleep. You’ll feel much better in the morning. Sleep tight.

It’s OK to be miffed narnia but don’t let it fester. Time to move on now.

It’s much the same here, if anything is to be organised I do it and put a lot of efffort in. It’s so difficult to get the family together, geography, working patterns and other pressures to blame, that I don’t do it for myself and my birthdays sort of get passed by.

Put your disappointment behind you. Plan what you’ll spend the voucher on, combine a shopping trip with a delicious lunch or an afternoon tea somewhere swish, keep smiling and perhaps tell the family what you would like them to do, it works here - sometimes!

Happy birthday Narnia
I have to plan my own bd treats. Others join in but they won't bother if I don't.
I have just had a fabulous bd and it wasn't even a big one.

Sadgrandma, yes i didn't expect my dcs to go overboard, but we did pay for the accommodation, transfers etc for our hol.
It's more being a bit disappointed in my DH not making an effort really.
Any way, nice surprise tonight to look on my Lidl app and I've got a free doughnut for my bd! 😂

Oh sorry, I re-read your post - it was a significant birthday for you as well. Apologies …

Maybe I didn’t read properly - it was your husband’s special birthday - so I can understand why the children made a big fuss. It wasn’t a special bday for you, or was it ? And is that why you’re upset ?
Last year was a big birthday for me and we had a big celebration with the family, friends, neighbours etc.
This year was just the opposite - the boys were abroad on holiday, but my daughter spent the day with me - treats from TKMaxx and a lovely dinner. Although I was a bit sad, by the end of the day, I was absolutely fine.

Narnia
I get where you are coming from. After all the fuss made of your DH for his special birthday you, quite naturally expected a bit of a surprise for yours too so you were disappointed, I think I would have been as well. Do I assume that you played a big part in the organisation of your DH’s surprise? Unfortunately men are not good at such things and, as you’d already had a holiday perhaps your DH and family thought you’d be happy with that. Also sI assume that, as you’d all already been away, your DD and DS probably couldn’t afford or had time for another break. I ‘m sure none of them would have deliberately wanted to upset you. Therefore, try and put it out of your mind and move on. As other GN’s have said some people get nothing for their birthdays and spend them alone so try to focus on what you did have.

I have seen another thread "comparison is the thief of joy"
We planned a lot of surprises for my dh and it wasn't the same for me. I suppose that's caused my dummy throwing

Romola, that is lovely to invite the neighbours on your birthday when family can't be there that day.
Really an example of making the best of things & not letting self-pity ruin your day. I salute you!

Are you just telling us what a fortunate Gran you are?
I'm fortunate too (though a grieving widow) but I would have spent my 80th birthday alone last month, had I not some weeks before invited lovely next-door neighbours for a meal.
This last bank holiday weekend, the family came and we had a belated celebration. I don't think the actual day is that important.
We don't go in for big presents. As people say, my presents were their presence.

Babs03 i was trying to be polite 😂

That’s ok Narnia we all get like this sometimes, am sure you’re forgiven for being a mardy cow. Am assuming you mean a mardy cow and not a mardy crow.

Babs03

I spent my birthday in a small grassy area outside a stroke ward with my DH in a wheelchair handing me a bunch of flowers one of my DDs had bought from a petrol station on the way. It was the best birthday ever because my DH was recovering though I knew he would never recover completely it was an improvement on a few weeks before when we thought we had lost him.
Hold those you love close and for goodness sake count your blessings.

I absolutely know that I'm lucky my family!
The holiday wasn't about my bd it was for my DH also and a wedding anniversary.
I suppose i feel a grump as i expected to be 'surprised" and i didn't get it as my DH told me to chose my own gift then in effect told me what the children had got me, a voucher!

I spent my birthday in a small grassy area outside a stroke ward with my DH in a wheelchair handing me a bunch of flowers one of my DDs had bought from a petrol station on the way. It was the best birthday ever because my DH was recovering though I knew he would never recover completely it was an improvement on a few weeks before when we thought we had lost him.
Hold those you love close and for goodness sake count your blessings.

I know! I just feel a bit miffed about Dh lack of effort i suppose.
Altho shouldn't be surprised 😂

Well here’s your kick that you asked for 😀
You had a whole lot more than many people get, Some grans on here spend their birthdays alone or even completely forgotten so I reckon a foreign family holiday just prior then an evening birthday meal plus presents is pretty good going
Be happy for what you got not moody for what you didn’t