70th Birthday Party

4allweknow. It's very common for people to make a special occasion of a 70th birthday. I know lots of people who have had big parties for their 70th. It's considered a milestone I think.

I would only be upset if two friends went away together to specifically avoid my birthday event!

People usually go on holiday with family or friends at a time that suits the majority, their purses and availability of the venue, tickets etc.

I certainly wouldn’t feel slighted if people were inadvertently on holiday when I planned a party.

Can you have a separate lunch or similar with the two friends who can’t come to your 70th, unless they are actually trying to avoid you?

😎

Make the most of it. I had to cancel my 80th altogether, even though everything was bought and ordered, due to covid!

Perhaps you’re being a little oversensative? There may be other reasons why they have booked their holiday at this time.Please draw a line under it and move on. Enjoy celebrating with everyone who joins you. My 70 th was during lockdown 😔

I think some posters on here are being rather unfair in their comments. OP is having a 70th birthday party, which is rather different to simply celebrating it as any other birthday might be. A party inevitably takes much more organisation, is usually planned well in advance and is almost certain to be more expensive than an ordinary birthday celebration. I don't think you are being unreasonable in feeling hurt, but you are by falling out permanently with them. I hope you have a lovely time anyway.

Am not going to celebrate my 70th next year with a party… have learned from previous parties.. it’s now considered an ‘old tired tradition’

Outcast52

I think some posters on here are being rather unfair in their comments. OP is having a 70th birthday party, which is rather different to simply celebrating it as any other birthday might be. A party inevitably takes much more organisation, is usually planned well in advance and is almost certain to be more expensive than an ordinary birthday celebration. I don't think you are being unreasonable in feeling hurt, but you are by falling out permanently with them. I hope you have a lovely time anyway.

Could be a "bring a bottle" party in her kitchen for all we know. Often the best kind.

Should add I don’t want a 70th..so many loved friends and family have passed .. would rather go away for a short break if possible with heath issues

Unless they have deliberately booked the holidays after receiving your party invitation then I think you are being rather over sensitive about this.
Move on, don’t fallout with people simply because their values don’t measure up to yours …. That’s simply childish.
Have your party, enjoy yourself but don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.

Aldom

*4allweknow*. It's very common for people to make a special occasion of a 70th birthday. I know lots of people who have had big parties for their 70th. It's considered a milestone I think.

Yes, because of the ‘three score years and ten’ in the Bible - whether anyone’s remotely religious or not.

Did you send an invitation to your 70th birthday celebration before they booked the holiday Hippie20?

My thoughts exactly Witzend.
I would imagine that's the source of the reason for celebrating 70.

I also turn 70 next month😱. Where has the time gone! Personally I want nothing.. Had my family warned...no surprise party!!!! I don't need anything either... I think you are being a bit unreasonable....enjoy your party with who you've got coming to it.

I'm not sure if I would be disgruntled about it or not. I would certainly be disappointed.

For me, it would be more important to have my family there - and, of course, I would like to see all my friends but understand that sometimes it is not possible.

Although I was very lucky that my family and friends made a big fuss for my 90th birthday, I really don't understand why there is so much angst when family/friends do not make a fuss, it is only another day!!

I’m a bit surprised you would break friendships over this, Hippie20, unless there were other issues and this was a final straw. I get a bit overwhelmed by organising stuff sometimes and as a result have double-booked things, which is mortifying! Maybe one or both of your errant friends did this.
It really does depend on their circumstances, as others have said. Maybe they didn’t have a choice about holiday dates for some reason. I expect they felt sad about missing your party, but perhaps had other people in the mix. It’s not easy when things clash.
If you’ve ditched your friends of 20 years just over this, it does rather seem to be cutting off your nose to spite your face. Friends are precious even if they disappoint us sometimes. I just hope my lovely friends will forgive me if I slip up somehow- we can all do it! It will be sad if you have regrets further down the line. Time passes & perceived slights don’t matter so much. All the best.

The ensures here reflect how different we all are. My 70th passed without much fuss although I enjoyed it as I do any day …. I don’t see how it’s different to any other birthday. I’d forget all about it.

*the answers….

Please don't be offended. Perhaps you could celebrate with them separately when they return from theirs hols. I am noticing in this modern world that things don't seem to be so important anymore as they were in my parents' day. I am organising something for later in the month and having sent out an email telling everyone what was happening, half have got the wrong end of the stick, and the others haven't bothered even replying. I'll do a sweep email on Thursday and hope it will be alright on the night. If anyone complains, I'll say: Did you read my email?

I'm with you here, Hippie20.
I've just had a proper big birthday party and would have been hurt if close friends had booked holidays.
I think I'd have made it clear that I was disappointed. Maybe they'll make it up to you another way.
But enjoy your party anyway. I'm sending very best wishes for a happy day.

It's understandable to feel disappointed when long-time friends can't attend your celebration. However, people have their own commitments, and it might not have been intentional. I hope you enjoy your party with those who are able to be there, and maybe you can celebrate with your absent friends another time.

People with Christmas birthdays often complain about it too!

I always say try having an August birthday when everyone is away, sometimes including myself!

I never had birthday partys with my school friends for the same reason.

One birthday I only had one friend to go out with because literally everyone in my social circle was away.

I have just learned to live with it- at least the weather is usually good and in good years I have had wonderful celebrations.

Just celebrate with the people that are there...

I’m afraid YABU.
Family yes, but friends? I would never expect them to cancel or postpone a holiday for my birthday.

Hippie20

Interesting. My own view is 70th is an important milestone and true friends would prioritise it over a a holiday with casual friends. And in my case those long term friends are no longer friends as they did not value our friendship..

My word you sound like hard work! How much do you value your friends?

I can’t tell you how much I disagree with how you feel. I don’t think 70 is particularly special. Why should it be, just because it has a zero at the end? And you are prepared to ditch friends over them not giving up their holiday to attend your celebration? I find that very strange indeed.
Be careful. Your attitude is likely to drive friends away if they get to think your happiness is dependant on them being prepared to give up a holiday for just a birthday.
When you are 7, yes, birthdays are very important. You are 70! I mean this kindly - please rethink your attitude before you have no-one because you have scared your friends away.