70th Birthday Party

RosieandherMaw

I’m afraid YABU.
Family yes, but friends? I would never expect them to cancel or postpone a holiday for my birthday.

I would never expect family to change their plans for me, whatever birthday it might be. (I have just had my 80th). When my family visits, I need it to be because they WANT to, not because they are guilt-tripped into it! That way, I can relax, knowing it’s their choice, not my expectations.
My family visits often, of their own volition. That must prove something, surely?

Bea65

Am not going to celebrate my 70th next year with a party… have learned from previous parties.. it’s now considered an ‘old tired tradition’

I’ve never wanted to celebrate any birthday.
Before anyone thinks I’m a fun sponge I’m probably the furthest away from one as you can get. 😂 But I’ve just never got celebrating a birthday.
The only reason I do them is the family insist ( except for one daughter who feels the same as me)
On my 21st I was crewing with my boyfriend taking a yacht to Belgium. The owners of the yacht were mortified that I was helping them get on my 21st.
I’d rather have been sailing. 😊

Surely friendship is not about what is essentially quite superficial things, like attending a party?

My view is that a friend is there when you really need them - without you asking. When my husband was in hospital after a serious operation, one of my friends invited me several times to her and her husband's house for dinner. She knew I had been being going back and forth constantly to the hospital and was tired and anxious, and she made sure I wasn't just existing on snacks. That's what I call friendship. As I said before, if she, or others, had not attended my 60th birthday party, I would have been disappointed but not disgruntled.

Another Asian lady who lives nearby and with whom I exchanged greetings but who was not what I would call a friend, saw me walking wearily home after being at the hospital. She put her arms round me to comfort me. That small gesture was so appreciated. It's often the little, informal, things that make life easier.

To be honest, I don't check the calendar for friend's birthdays before I book holidays. I'm sorry that you feel sad, but I wouldn't hold on to this.

I am 70 next month. I do not want any type of party, and I have told my son and daughter this too. God help them if they try to do anything. I absolutely hate these types of surprises.
Doing my best to forget numbers!!

Did they know that you were going to be 70 and had received an invitation from you before they’d booked their holidays Hippy20?
Speaking personally, I have no wish whatsoever for a party when I’m 70 - I couldn’t think of anything worse. However, we’re all different, and it obviously means a lot to you and so I hope that you can still enjoy your party even though these 2 friends won’t be there. Let that go, and enjoy your day with those who will be there.

Hippie20

Interesting. My own view is 70th is an important milestone and true friends would prioritise it over a a holiday with casual friends. And in my case those long term friends are no longer friends as they did not value our friendship..

Oh dear.

Yes. And I arranged a spa day with a treatment prosseco sauna etc for one of the friend's 70th. Basically something better for them came up.

All the 00s are milestones . You come across as being high maintenance .. sorry you’re feeling put out by friends going on holidays…rather than attending your party…
I stopped going to parties after 50th celebrations ..

Don't lose your friends over this. Holidays are notoriously difficult to arrange with all sorts of factors having to be taken into consideration. As you get older friends become fewer and more precious. Why not arrange a belated birthday lunch with these two friends. It will be a lovely outing and extending the birthday celebrations for you.

I was 70 two years ago and I honestly can't remember if we did anything. I will have had cards from kids and presents, probably from siblings as well but it's no big deal just one day older.

When it was my 89th I invited several friends for a meal at a local hotel.
One friend was unable to attend. I don't even remember why.
I took her out for lunch a couple of weeks later.
I value my friends.

No! It wasn't my 89th!

It was my 80th

Aldom 😂🤣😅 at least it wasn't 180
If I need people to celebrate my birthday I have a party. It doesn't have to be huge but that way I see plenty of friends and family.

I had one for what would have been DH's 80th. I enjoyed it but DD found it upsetting. Ah well. I won't do that again.

Both my daughters were on holiday on my 70th in the summer, we just did something another day, not bothered at all.

Grammaretto

I really only celebrate birthdays with family normally, my 70th was a meal out with them and it was lovely. My youngest daughter is the one who pushes for celebrations and we did arrange a meal out friends, family and neighbours for our 50th Anniversary, but I certainly wouldn't have taken offence if people couldn't come. It's her 40th this year and I expect she's hoping for a humdinger of a party, but she'll probably arrange it herself.
I think I'll make a bit more effort for my husband's 80th next year, if only because most of the men in either of our families don't make it that far!

I'd be gutted to be away for a friend's 70th and would hope my friends would feel similarly! I'll be organising mine in plenty of time & hoping everyone will be able to come. I should be amazed and definitely sad if my closest friends booked a holiday but if they'd done so before the invitation, it would be forgiveable although I'll be talking about it way before the invitations go out so thay would know! If it's a "subsequent booking", I'd be very upset but sure there'd been a good reason for missing my party. We do give very good parties!!

Birthday parties are for under 10s only. Banned after that.

Funny old thing ageing and birthdays. People who can afford to lose friends over not turning up , must have plenty of friends.

As an aside " a meal out" is losing its' appeal. I can't seem to enjoy eating something, the cost of which would do a weeks shopping.

emilie

Birthday parties are for under 10s only. Banned after that.

Life is for living! Birthdays are a privilege. I love birthdays and like to celebrate them with family and friends. Not necessarily in a big way, but coming together for a meal or just coffee and cake.
I'm about to move house, town and county. Hoping for many more birthdays in my new home.

You say you’re hurt but you seem really angry about it. It seems your friends may not celebrate birthdays much themselves, particularly if one of them didn’t organise the spa day but you organised it for them. I’m another person who doesn’t really get birthday celebrations past 21 and would definitely feel that a holiday takes precedence. Perhaps try to think of it from their point of view? An invitation isn’t a summons, you are offering them a choice whether to come or not. I’m sure they’ll plan a gift and a card and to see you too. Presumably you have invited lots of friends and family so enjoy your special day with them, don’t begrudge these friends their break.

emilie

Birthday parties are for under 10s only. Banned after that.

I love my friends and family but even as a child I hated birthday parties and tried not to have them or go to them. My mother, however, insisted (what will people think?) so I had to suffer them for years. I was made to go to friends’ parties, much to my disgust. (It didn’t take my mother long to see through my ‘I’ve got a tummy ache’ pleas). To this day, I hate them. My wedding reception was the only celebration I sort of enjoyed, but that was because the euphoria of marrying the man I loved, carried me through.

emilie

Birthday parties are for under 10s only. Banned after that.

Absolutely!

emilie

Birthday parties are for under 10s only. Banned after that.

Absolutely 😂