70th Birthday Party

Grammaretto

Both my daughters were on holiday on my 70th in the summer, we just did something another day, not bothered at all.

Aldom 😂🤣😅 at least it wasn't 180
If I need people to celebrate my birthday I have a party. It doesn't have to be huge but that way I see plenty of friends and family.

I had one for what would have been DH's 80th. I enjoyed it but DD found it upsetting. Ah well. I won't do that again.

No! It wasn't my 89th!

It was my 80th

When it was my 89th I invited several friends for a meal at a local hotel.
One friend was unable to attend. I don't even remember why.
I took her out for lunch a couple of weeks later.
I value my friends.

I was 70 two years ago and I honestly can't remember if we did anything. I will have had cards from kids and presents, probably from siblings as well but it's no big deal just one day older.

Don't lose your friends over this. Holidays are notoriously difficult to arrange with all sorts of factors having to be taken into consideration. As you get older friends become fewer and more precious. Why not arrange a belated birthday lunch with these two friends. It will be a lovely outing and extending the birthday celebrations for you.

All the 00s are milestones . You come across as being high maintenance .. sorry you’re feeling put out by friends going on holidays…rather than attending your party…
I stopped going to parties after 50th celebrations ..

Yes. And I arranged a spa day with a treatment prosseco sauna etc for one of the friend's 70th. Basically something better for them came up.

Hippie20

Interesting. My own view is 70th is an important milestone and true friends would prioritise it over a a holiday with casual friends. And in my case those long term friends are no longer friends as they did not value our friendship..

Oh dear.

Did they know that you were going to be 70 and had received an invitation from you before they’d booked their holidays Hippy20?
Speaking personally, I have no wish whatsoever for a party when I’m 70 - I couldn’t think of anything worse. However, we’re all different, and it obviously means a lot to you and so I hope that you can still enjoy your party even though these 2 friends won’t be there. Let that go, and enjoy your day with those who will be there.

I am 70 next month. I do not want any type of party, and I have told my son and daughter this too. God help them if they try to do anything. I absolutely hate these types of surprises.
Doing my best to forget numbers!!

To be honest, I don't check the calendar for friend's birthdays before I book holidays. I'm sorry that you feel sad, but I wouldn't hold on to this.

Surely friendship is not about what is essentially quite superficial things, like attending a party?

My view is that a friend is there when you really need them - without you asking. When my husband was in hospital after a serious operation, one of my friends invited me several times to her and her husband's house for dinner. She knew I had been being going back and forth constantly to the hospital and was tired and anxious, and she made sure I wasn't just existing on snacks. That's what I call friendship. As I said before, if she, or others, had not attended my 60th birthday party, I would have been disappointed but not disgruntled.

Another Asian lady who lives nearby and with whom I exchanged greetings but who was not what I would call a friend, saw me walking wearily home after being at the hospital. She put her arms round me to comfort me. That small gesture was so appreciated. It's often the little, informal, things that make life easier.

Bea65

Am not going to celebrate my 70th next year with a party… have learned from previous parties.. it’s now considered an ‘old tired tradition’

I’ve never wanted to celebrate any birthday.
Before anyone thinks I’m a fun sponge I’m probably the furthest away from one as you can get. 😂 But I’ve just never got celebrating a birthday.
The only reason I do them is the family insist ( except for one daughter who feels the same as me)
On my 21st I was crewing with my boyfriend taking a yacht to Belgium. The owners of the yacht were mortified that I was helping them get on my 21st.
I’d rather have been sailing. 😊

RosieandherMaw

I’m afraid YABU.
Family yes, but friends? I would never expect them to cancel or postpone a holiday for my birthday.

I would never expect family to change their plans for me, whatever birthday it might be. (I have just had my 80th). When my family visits, I need it to be because they WANT to, not because they are guilt-tripped into it! That way, I can relax, knowing it’s their choice, not my expectations.
My family visits often, of their own volition. That must prove something, surely?

I can’t tell you how much I disagree with how you feel. I don’t think 70 is particularly special. Why should it be, just because it has a zero at the end? And you are prepared to ditch friends over them not giving up their holiday to attend your celebration? I find that very strange indeed.
Be careful. Your attitude is likely to drive friends away if they get to think your happiness is dependant on them being prepared to give up a holiday for just a birthday.
When you are 7, yes, birthdays are very important. You are 70! I mean this kindly - please rethink your attitude before you have no-one because you have scared your friends away.

Hippie20

Interesting. My own view is 70th is an important milestone and true friends would prioritise it over a a holiday with casual friends. And in my case those long term friends are no longer friends as they did not value our friendship..

My word you sound like hard work! How much do you value your friends?

I’m afraid YABU.
Family yes, but friends? I would never expect them to cancel or postpone a holiday for my birthday.

People with Christmas birthdays often complain about it too!

I always say try having an August birthday when everyone is away, sometimes including myself!

I never had birthday partys with my school friends for the same reason.

One birthday I only had one friend to go out with because literally everyone in my social circle was away.

I have just learned to live with it- at least the weather is usually good and in good years I have had wonderful celebrations.

Just celebrate with the people that are there...

It's understandable to feel disappointed when long-time friends can't attend your celebration. However, people have their own commitments, and it might not have been intentional. I hope you enjoy your party with those who are able to be there, and maybe you can celebrate with your absent friends another time.

I'm with you here, Hippie20.
I've just had a proper big birthday party and would have been hurt if close friends had booked holidays.
I think I'd have made it clear that I was disappointed. Maybe they'll make it up to you another way.
But enjoy your party anyway. I'm sending very best wishes for a happy day.

Please don't be offended. Perhaps you could celebrate with them separately when they return from theirs hols. I am noticing in this modern world that things don't seem to be so important anymore as they were in my parents' day. I am organising something for later in the month and having sent out an email telling everyone what was happening, half have got the wrong end of the stick, and the others haven't bothered even replying. I'll do a sweep email on Thursday and hope it will be alright on the night. If anyone complains, I'll say: Did you read my email?

*the answers….

The ensures here reflect how different we all are. My 70th passed without much fuss although I enjoyed it as I do any day …. I don’t see how it’s different to any other birthday. I’d forget all about it.