My daughter wont do anything for me

There seem to be a never-ending number of DGP on here who are doing too much for their offspring and also caring for elderly parents.

Was I like this with my DM? Probably a bit but she would always say if she couldn't help. She never kept the DGC for whole days, just picked them up from nursery or school.

I fear you may have to treat the situation with great diplomacy. Be matter of fact but don't wail. Just tell your DD you must have her support and she must not treat you like an unpaid servant . Perhaps she does pay you so if so you can offer to find her another childminder.

Good luck but YANBU.

I think there are 2 issues here?

Looking after your youngest grandson during holidays and the lack of care and consideration shown by your daughter?

You don’t say how old you are and we are all different - my DGSs are 4 and 8 and I never have them together here, although I meet up with my DDs and them at various places.
How old is your DGS - will this continue for many more years? DGS1 attends a Holiday Club at his local Community Centre and thoroughly enjoys it.l Would that be a possibility, say alternate weeks in the long Summer breaks? When DGS1 is too old for the club, his parents will simply stagger holidays from work and I’ll help out, if I’m able. You say ‘youngest’ so does he have siblings at home, who might soon be able to take care for him, or take him out to give you a break?
There’s also no mention of his father or any paternal grandparents?

As for your DD - what happens at handover time? Does she pick up her son - does she have time for a cuppa, or is it all at breakneck speed?

It does sound as if she takes you for granted and seems to have forgotten her manners with not a word of thanks.
As others say, resentment can creep in, so as the School holidays are known well in advance, now might be the time to discuss child care for half-term week, or make a dental/nail/hair/chiropody appointment (or all 4) for that week and then plead ignorance!

M0nica

Why did you let it happen in the first place?

Sometimes things just creep up on you without you realising. What starts out as a temporary small service ends up being much more than that.
Time for a chat with your daughter Vincennes and put some boundaries in place, tell her how you are feeling. Resentment is going to build otherwise.

Why did you let it happen in the first place?

Your youngest grandson won't always need you, just as it seems your daughter no longer does.

Can I ask if you enjoy caring for your grandchild? Is it getting too much for you? Do you want more time to yourself?

It does sound as if your daughter takes you for granted, but only you can decide whether to put up with it or not.

If she works full time she will be busy- you don't mention if she is on her own or not, so may not have a lot of spare time to herself let alone anyone else.

Ideally, you should be able to see your grandchild out of the child care setting, but that maybe not be possible if you stop having your grandchild what seems like five days a week.

I think a conversation with your daughter needs to be had-give her the chance to tell you how busy her life is, then make sure she knows about your feelings too.

It sounds as if you are resentful of being used for free childcare, so how can you help DD find an alternative?

I feel very sorry for you .
It seems to be the pattern these days .
So many of my friends aren't actually enjoying their retirement,because they are totally exhausted caring for grandkids and could do with some help or sympathy sometimes .
They look at me .
I'm now into my tenth year of punishment for being unable to look after my grandson .
I tried to accommodate his father .
It was impossible.
I lived too far away .
I had the full time care of my father .
I'll spend another birthday and Christmas alone this year .
I send gifts and they are rarely acknowledged .
It's heartbreaking .
Your daughter is taking you for granted .
If you protest and frankly , I think that you should-you might end up like me .

Would concentrate on your own well-being and your own life. Start thinking of things you are able to do that cheer you up, and do them. And when your daughter asks for help with your grandson next school holiday don’t just blindly agree. Tell her which days you are available and which days she will have to make other arrangements. You are being taken for granted, is a regular complaint on here, but only you can stop this.
Good luck
X

Whenever she needs you, stop being so available.

Print out a list of her own excuses and leave it by the phone so you can use them back to her.

"Sorry, it's just too far."
"I can' drive. Car is playing up"
" Can't help you"
" You're asking too often and I can't be bothered".