What about the other grand parents ? 😡

Six weeks is a long time not to have found a car. A couple of weeks should be plenty if you’re really looking.

I think they’re taking advantage here. I bet if you say you want it back now they’ll find one this weekend, no problem.

I get why you’re annoyed I would be too, but as I’ve found out it’s wasted energy.
My mum volunteered her car to help her DGS partner out. I drove 200 mile to deliver it whilst me and mum managed without a car for months.
Her parents lived very close to them with a car each, I was so cross at the time.
Sadly our kindness was seen as a weakness. I’m a lot wiser now.

Why can't they take it in turns to use the one car to work and get by with a combination of public transport and (if necessary) taxis the next... - or take each other super-early if need be?

I think at 22 and 23 they should have more than enough life skills to work this out without you baling them out with your own transport for weeks on end.

I know from living in a village without a bus that rural transport is difficult. In towns and cities its easier - but even in a village it's not always insurmountable if you are determined - a lift to the bus/train by the one with the car?

It may eat up a chunk of your wages - but it seems your (adult) grandchildren are still living at their mother's home.

Maybe any (half decent) car is better than no car... that's what my daughter decided when she was travelling 2½ hours to work instead of 35mins by car.

Give them a deadline...
"I need my car back by next Thursday" (for example). I think the problem will be rapidly sorted.

Agreed, get your car back

Does your car insurance policy cover them driving your car ?

Agreed.

The weather is getting worse, so you really need a car. It will be hard, but tell them you need it back. There is no incentive for them to actually find a car if they don’t have to do so.

It was very kind and generous of you to loan your car to the grandchildren, but it was only a temporary arrangement.

It’s understandable that neither of them can afford to buy a car yet if they have only just started work, but surely they would have looked into how they were going to get there by public transport?

You shouldn’t feel guilty about reclaiming your car.

It’s not mandatory for either sets of grandparents to gift or lend the grandchildren a car.

That would be my answer too.

But you will know your family dynamics better than any of us on here can.

Why do you think they would want to help more?

If it is your choice to indulge your GC then that's your choice.

Just accept their choices aren't the same.

We all help our grandchildren - or not as we best think is good.

The other grandparents may well help in other ways you do not know about - or they may want to help later.

Personally, I was quite tight with money when DC were the age of your grandchildren, just because I felt they needed to get to grips with the realities of life as soon as possible and that they should not expect us to bail them out whenever life got difficult.

It’s not mandatory for either sets of grandparents to gift or lend the grandchildren a car. Plenty of people manage without one, or find a way to purchase one. Don’t be angry at the other grandparents. That’s just unhealthy projection. This is an internal issue because it’s your choice to keep giving your car up. Let yourself off the hook by saying ‘no’. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your grandson.

welbeck

They are working.
Let them get and finance their own cars.
That's part of being grown up.
It's not your responsibility nor their parent's nor the other GPs.

Yes, this.

Try not to compare between you and anybody else. It’s out of your control anyway.
Just be you and work out what’s best in your family situation. You are letting your annoyance about your ex son in law affect you.

Perhaps the grandchildren could share the car - ie weeks about? Car one week, bus the next?

I understand your frustration and disappointment. It’s more expensive for young people to finance cars than wheb we were younger. I’d want to help and feel irritated if wealthy other grandparents weren’t offering
Mind you, people are often better off financially because they’re ‘careful’ with money

They are working.
Let them get and finance their own cars.
That's part of being grown up.
It's not your responsibility nor their parent's nor the other GPs.