What about the other grand parents ? 😡

It must be horrendously expensive for the OP too.

I can’t imagine what the insurance must be for two young adults in their early twenties, one of whom has a speeding ticket. Over a thousand I should think.

I hope the OP has told her insurance company and isn’t just taking a chance.

Am I the only one who thinks that the idea of a shared car is bound to fail and not realistic?

Of course it's not just the grandson, is it... his sister should be sharing their ^shared car with him.

Your grandson has not only proved that he is untrustworthy, by not treating your car carefully, but also in expecting you to lie for him and take the points. That equals a gaol sentence for you both.
Get your car back immediately, and let him find his own way to work.
He might make more of an effort to save for his own car once he realises how hard life is without one.

I never gave my kids cars...I wpuld loan a car to my grandkids....they need to sort out their own arrangements...why are you mad with other GP 🤷‍♀️

You need your car back! My grandparents never gave me a car. I had to make my own travel arrangements.
If necessary, can’t you do a three-way share/collect from work/take turns?

It's your car and you really need it.

Let them worry about how how they are going to get to work.

And don't lend it them again.

It is the same poster as the speeding penalty thread !
Honestly crazyH you must get your car back immediately.

You were kind enough to loan it to the grandchildren and this is how one repaid you by speeding and inferring that you should ‘take the hit’

I’m divorced and on my own. So is my daughter. She has 2 grown-up children, 22 and 23, both of whom I adore….Couple of years ago, she bought them a little car, to share. Worked fine, until now.
Both have started jobs which ofcourse involves driving to and from work, in 2 directions.

I think the above sentences says it all. You adore your grandchildren so let them get away with anything!!

There is nothing of course about them HAVING to DRIVE to work there are other ways of getting to work and if there really is not, they should have thought about that before taking the jobs.

They are both very much adult people, let them behave as such as sort their own problems out, if you keep bailing them out they will never learn to manage. It has absolutely nothing to do with the other grand parents nor has it anything to do with you and your daughter living alone. It sounds to me like you are both trying to make up for the fact that their father is not around. I hope you don't criticise their father to your GC like you do on here!!

Tell them to buy their own cars.

You didn't have to lend them your car you chose to and the other grandparents for whatever reason choose not to and you don't know their reasons for this. Quite frankly I think that lending your car in an emergency situation is a different matter to lending it on a long term basis to a grandchild of that age. They are working and should be able to sort out their own transport to work problems, is there no public transport available? Can one child get to work early in order to let the other drive on to their own place of work?

I wondered that vegansrock.
My mother-in-law's friend has three cars and he lives on his own.
One is a "show car" (classic type) one is his "runaround" and the other, classic but less precious, is only driven in good weather.

Do you know why the GPs have 3 cars? Maybe they love having a car collection , or they are expensive models they wouldn't lend to a young driver. It’s entirely up to them. Don't criticise others choices.

IS this the same grandson?
Do we actually know?

And why aren't the two adult grandchildren sharing the car they have?

Personally I would never lend my car out to my grandchildren, on the basis that if they have an accident not only is my insurance affected,and my no claims. But also I would then be without a car.
However, we did ensure that our children were able to drive at 17, and bought their first cars. We are in a fortunate position and will help our grandchildren too. But what the other grandparents choose to do is entirely up to them, you shouldn't be criticising them for their choices.
And if my grandchild was speeding and driving carelessly I wouldn't be helping them at all.

You need your car. Your GCs are young and much more able to get about than you. My 22 year old
GS had to get two buses and a train to work every day. He would not have been happy to leave me without my car.
The other GPs may think it's making them less independent by giving them a car.

I can imagine a scenario where another grandparent loaned her old banger to her GC then the other grandparents swooped in and offered a newer car to be met with indignation and cries of 'well of course they have the money'. Maybe the other grandparents don't want to step on your toes by offering a car.

I wouldn’t involve the other GPs you need your car back so it’s up to GS to make other arrangements

Don’t get sidetracked to need your car

I wouldn’t get so involved in others lives and I’d definitely go and retrieve my car now. Your need is almost certainly greater than theirs. I understand the compulsion to help but honestly, they’re old enough to sort out their own lives….let them get on with it.

Gosh, if it was my grandson who’d been caught speeding and wanted someone else to take the blame I’d be trying to keep him off the road, not put him on it in my car.

I think the other grandparents are being very sensible. Speeding is not good. Lack of responsibility for your driving is something else😱

I have a family member who is fond of grand gestures, but then gets tired of doing whatever it is, and tells others that they should be 'pulling their weight' by taking over the things she started, as she claims it's not fair on her. It's maddening.

Was it not you who posted recently that your grandson was expecting you to take a speeding penalty on his behalf claiming that lots of people take points for one another - despite it being a criminal offence that carries a custodial sentence?

If so, could it be that incident is now colouring how you feel about him using your car? Maybe that’s translating into thinking that the other grandparents, whom you seem to have little affection for, can give him a car so it becomes their problem if he does it again.

That aside, how far do either of these adults have to travel to work and what alternatives are there? Buses, trains, bike?

Nobody is under obligation to lend a car to another family member. That you did was up to you. You are are entitled to have the car back.

One can buy a perfectly roadworthy car for a couple of thousand pounds. The family could find one if they tried.

How would you respond if you saw a post from the other grandparents saying that their 'other grandparents' were making them feel bad because they hadn't offered a car, and were making assumptions about their financial wellbeing and making emotional projections about how they 'couldn't find it in their hearts' to do something that they were not able to do, or didn't want to do, and not only that but are calling their son names?

I don't know why a couple might need three cars, but that's the point - I don't know. Just because you felt able to lend out a car doesn't mean that the other lot feel likewise, and emotional blackmail isn't fair.

If you need your car back, ask for it. There's no need to feel guilty - it was kind of you to lend it in the first place - but your kindness should not put pressure on the other grandparents to do anything (and it doesn't make it unkind of them not to do it).

I agree with all the above. We now have to use public transport to go anywhere because my DH who was the only driver had a stroke and is now visually and cognitively impaired. But am not complaining, most of the time buses and trains are ok and we have bus passes and senior rail cards.
Unless your GCs live out in the sticks where there is only one bus every few hours and no trains I suggest they use public transport when the other GC has the car.
It is your car, letting them use it occasionally is fine but don’t give it to them and then feel bad asking for it back.
The other grandparents probably assume their GCs will use the bus until another car is purchased.
I would assume the same and can be quite indulgent with my GCs, but honestly what you have done is a lovely gesture but now say that you are struggling and so need the car back.

Personally I think you were too generous lending your car when you have no other means of transport. And your grandson is selfish for accepting it without a thought of how you are to travel. And your daughter is presumably funding a second car for her children.
Do they appreciate all these sacrifices?
Absolutely nothing to do with the other grandparents.