'Poppers-in' - do you mind???

Oreo

Happy Birthday Doodledog and many happy returns 🥂🎉🎈🎂😃

Thank you😀

I usually love poppers-in. But if it's not convenient, I say, it's lovely to see you but I'm just too busy.
And after 45 minutes or so, I say, I need to get on with.... whatever it is. In other words don't outstay your welcome.

No thanks. No poppers in. I wouldn't dream of doing this to others and don't like it done to me.

In the "olden days" when I ws a child Sunday was a day for popping in. There were no shops open and nothing to do but visit people or host visitors. Also fewer people were on the phone then. So my parents smetimes took a chance to call on relatives with us in tow. People tended to live in close communities. So if Aunt Mary was not at home there was usually someone else a few streets away.

Nowadays there are mobile phones and there is really no excuse for calling without verifying that it is convenient. For the most part I dont accept unarranged visits - unles its a courier delivering a package. Ring doorbells are your friend. You can monitor visitors without them knowing you are home. Or you can answer and tell them you are using the app and away from home. The latter would be a good opportunity for telling them that its not a good idea to call without an arrangement unless they wish to be disappointed.

Another factor to be aware of are those dubious characters who prey on older people trusing enough to believe they are genuine workmen checking the water pressure/gas/whatever just to talk their way in. This is not to imply that all older people are naive and trusting. Anyone of any age can be taken in by clever criminals. The best plan is always to ask them to return when you can arrange to have a friend present or write on their letterhead for an appointment.

Chardy

Popping in unannounced is rude
If you need to visit someone uninvited (eg to drop off something), you ask if it's convenient in advance. And in my opinion, you don't go inside, you drop the thing off, or whatever, on the doorstep, even if invited in.

I live near the bus stop, and a 'friend' has been dropping subtle hints for literally years that she'd like to be able to pop in when she shops - presumably to use the loo or have a cup of tea. There are tea shops and loos within 150yds of mine!

'Rude' is subjective...I don't think popping in is rude....you have the option to open your dour or not....I don't 'pop in' but all my children and my 3 SILs often do.....doesnt bother me at all

I absolutely loathe poppers-in. Family excepted of course.

We plan our day but someone else plans their day which is visiting us!

I get very resentful with this behaviour as the visitor has not considered the visitee may have their own plans which they must now give up in order to entertain an uninvited guest.

I recall one Sunday when six unconnected people decided to call on us and they were all here at the same time.

We are antisocial people and think it must be when someone doesn't like cats but the cat makes a beeline for that person!

I might put on raggy clothes and decide to garden that day and could scream when someone comes down the path.

If inside I would not answer the door but outside am a sitting duck.

We have gone without our evening meal when one visitor just would not leave and I would not begin preparing a meal as he would have expected to stay.

I wish I could put a chain on the gate!

I don't like people who 'pop in' We used to have a friend who never rang the bell or knocked but walked across the front of the house to look through the bay window which was quite high up. All we saw from inside was half a head and two eyes peering over the sill or he would walk to the back and let himself in shouting Hello. Needless to say he wasn't a favourite visitor!

I enjoy the unexpected visitors as it happens rarely. To be fair, the only poppers in, apart from dd and the boys, are my aunt and uncle and they are always welcome.
It was much more common when I was young. My older cousin would often visit mum with her two wild children. If I saw her approach, I would shout out to mum and we would immediately remove any ornaments from the living room! The boys jumped on the furniture and would break stuff easily. Mum felt sorry for my cousin so put up with it

friendlygingercat, I posted a while ago about Sunday visiting when I was a child but nobody seemed to know what I was talking about. I'm glad to hear I'm not alone. On Sunday afternoons we'd drive off to some relative or other and very often stay for tea. Likewise aunts and cousins would visit us. We were fortunate in that we had many relatives lived in the country, so it was a nice Sunday drive out to see them. Nobody gave anyone any warning as none of us had telephones but I suppose it was just accepted as the status quo.

I'm a very sociable person, but on my own terms. I also see my home as a sanctuary, and find it very uncomfortable when people drop in unannounced. I want to be able to please myself when I'm in my own space, and do not want to let people 'take me as they find me'. I would just like a few minutes' notice to choose how they find me - that is not, IMO, too much to ask these days.

I remember when people lived their lives based on the opinion of others. My mother would never lie in, even when very tired or unwell, as if she wasn't dressed, with her hair done and lipstick on, someone might call, and think badly of her. The house had to be spotless by mid morning, and the washing on the line, as 11.00 was when someone might pop in for coffee, and think badly of her if the dishes weren't done, and the floor vacuumed.

Not answering the door wouldn't enter her head as an option, just as she would drop everything to answer the phone, however inconvenient the timing. I will happily leave the door unanswered, but as I get a lot of deliveries (I prefer to shop online) we can never be sure if a rising bell is because of that. Also, my sitting room is near the front door, so in the winter the light is on and it's obvious when we are in, which makes it more difficult not to answer when we're in there.

As I say, I enjoy having people over, but I much prefer a bit of notice. People don't just find themselves on one another's doorsteps, and a quick text or call to say they are on their way is just polite, IMO.

This happened years ago when we lived in Torquay and the children were young.
One Sunday morning, quite early, I answered the door bell to find my husband's sister and brother-in-law and their two children standing there smiling. They lived in Canada at the time! We had no idea they were in this country.
The ultimate poppers in.
The punchline is that my husband had arranged to go fishing with his mate that day, and he still did! He went off, leaving me to entertain his family. Which I did, all day.
You can guess my reaction...

When I was a child living down south no one ever called unannounced, well, nearly no -one. I came north to uni and belonged go a church and folk from there were very welcomjng to people popping in. I liked the relaxed and friendly feel and decided then that I always wanted an open door policy to anyone calling by.

I have never liked anyone just popping in but now as I get older I prefer to be alone in my own home, door locked and no popper ins welcome to be honest. I crave peace and quiet

boheminan I’m right with you and simply will not answer the door! I live in a small house, even seeing my reflection in the mirror makes me jump sometimes! 😂 I think it’s quite rude to make the assumption you’ll be welcome when calling unannounced.

Boheminan.
I completely agree. I hide,and don't open the door or answer the phone. They are my door and my phone,and I'll do as I see fot with them

Fit not fot

what I don`t understand is why some people do think it is o.k to pop in, in this day and age with all this technology and communication technology ... can you tell I don`t care for poppers in!

even our new vicar tried to pop in to me, despite the fact that I am elderly , and at the time was ill.. what annoyed me mostly was that friend of mine, he phoned her before hand, and she has a dh.. I am living alone... I just do NOT understand,, to me it is discourteous..

I don't have poppers in any more and I miss it, even though I don't live alone

I like to know when people when people want to visit but I do have two people just walk in my back door whenever they feel like it. If I were to keep my back door locked they would grill me as to why.

To add, they would never allow poppers in. Have to phone them first.

Don't most people have phones? Call ahead!

Don't have many who live near enough to pop in. Those who do, I don't mind at all.

They are welcome as long as they do not mind the state of my home.
But these days it is easy to call ahead

I hate poppers in, I write novels and if I'm totally absorbed I don't want to be disturbed

BlueBelle

I don’t have anyone that pops in any more.

Oh BlueBelle, if only I were nearer to you, I would be popping in all the time, you may possibly get heartily sick of me….
but I doubt it, we are such dear friends to each other😀