Traveling now - dramas

Rebook single rooms and get away from this person. Might cost a bit but worth it in terms of sanity.

So he / she is third wheel? Does this mean you are couple with them added on? Are you three of the same sex? I don’t get the basics
A third person often feels left out or awkward I always avoid .. so a bit of background info on why they were invited? Made the holiday cheaper? Did you hope it would make their lives better and so included them? Why are they so resentful let’s call her a she I’m fed up with the plural .. does she think you are a know it all? Bossy? Or is she just one of those totally negative people who moan out of habit? I have a neighbour like this I don’t know how her family cope. I think a good vent on here is good. Without more practical information I can’t imagine what’s going on. What does the other person think ? are there just three of you?

CanadianGran

I'm assuming you are typing on your phone, since this post is a bit hard to read.

Are you all sharing accommodations? I would try to make some space for myself away from this person, by spending a bit of time away from them each day.

If possible, try a conversation (before cocktail hour!) saying that she seems unhappy with some of the arrangements, and what she would like to do about it. Put it in her hands. Then it can be a 'put up or shut up' situation if she doesn't have any better ideas.

As for all the small complaints (the lost items or food complaints), tease her gently about being too fussy and remind her what a wonderful situation you are in; the fact that you can afford this holiday, the wonderful scenery, change from the routine etc.

Good luck, deep breaths!

Canadiangran
That is really good advice thank you 🙏

NanaTuesday

So here we are finally 9 Days into a long haul trip , one that the 3d wheel of our party has caused major headaches before comping .
Now we are here it hasn’t changed for the better despite is thinking that ‘maybe. It would settle the person down .

Alas NO .

Every day there is a new drama ,caused by person themselves , whether it’s something not working or a personal item , lost or broken wires , chargers glasses, wet clothes, not enough clothes , even to the point of what is lacking or should of been done in accommodation.
. Or the cost of a bacon sandwich ,you name it it it’s either. A Moan &. It just one it’s a constant about the same thing …or. a drama .

As the person who booked & planned this trip I’m well versed in their comments etc etc.or lack of .

However living with it on the road for even the last 10 days since we left home is a living nightmare .
it can be likened to walking on egg shells .

This person did not research one single iota of our planned trip , Neither did they make any suggestions & deite the itinerary being spoken about emailed, whhatsapped , face to face conversations they were completely unaware of where we are going !!!!!
so when we plan a day in a certain place they have no idea& the comment is “ What’s there. “ !!

When we sit down with the map & travel guide it’s much the same , or there will be no interaction, which is precisely what was occurring before we travelled & in the planning stages .

It is hard work & we still have another 21 days of travel.

I’m not asking for ideas though , the best way with this travel companion is to stay quite , When they want to say something if you don’t greet they with their option it turns into a row ( them doing the shouting telling you ,I’m still talking ,even if you rent speaking over them ,)
From thes simplest of discussions,they will turn it into someth8ng else & then turn away & sulk ,
I just needed to vent , thanks for listening.

Re my OP
Thank you for the many helpful & some kind tips etc .
Tbh it is a family trip not with DC or DH inlaws or parents but the ones you grew up with closely
It was a family decision to travel to visit relations ( now elderly )on what a 🌎round the world trip .
One that people save for for years & plan for .
I have travelled here before more than once to visiting those relatives.Though not done as much travelling as planned this trip .
This person is a fun sucker . Just yesterday sat in vehicle bemoaning the heat through car window .
Day before refused my loan of a coat when they repeatedly moaned about being cold 🥶 as they had left theirs in car . 🚙
It’s like having a sulking child on board with you .
I’m dealing with it by ignoring it .
But what happens is that every little thing now irritates .
Obviously it’s the other way round also . I wouldn’t recommend it again & it’s hard on the other party who knows better than I do to deal with the ‘Moody One’ !
Anyway , here we are & I thought I’d update you all .

With luck the relations you are visiting will be bundles of joy and light - I do hope so.

It’s a bit of a left-field thought, but I hope you can plan Christmas/ any other future event with happy people this year and keep yourself cheerful by looking forward to that.

NanaTuesday - 30 days is a long time to be at close quarters with someone who you've known in advance is predisposed to being negative and you're only 25% through the ordeal. Venting to a computer screen won't make the remaining 75% of the trip pleasurable so you need to bite the bullet and clear the air. Tell this person that you will give them the itinerary for the rest of the trip and that what they don't fancy doing they should duck out of and choose something else to do, and that what they do fancy doing they should join with a positive outlook so that all three of you can enjoy it without depressing comments. Do remember that the other person (not the 3rd wheel) is also being affected by this person's negativity and may be very happy to join you in putting forward this viewpoint. This is all about setting boundaries, and one might be that in future you exclude this person from your social life.

GoldenAge

Thank you for you input.

However at this precise moment in time I am looking at both taxis & a flight back to our destination.

While sitting organising our itinerary for the next few days we (being me ) asked
A simple question of “ does anyone else fancy the rain forest ‘?
The response was “what will we do in the rain forest ‘
Of course , I didn’t think to not respond myself My response “ see the rain forest ‘

Was met with silence from the moody one .
So sitting attempting to make a plan & plot our next few days let alone the remaining weeks is like ww3 !

I have not stormed off but said you sort it , and again was met with you show me a map & take it away .
And being told all sorts .
I am not having my holiday ruined any longer & will go to stay with my relatives who we came here to see anyway .
Obviously the fact that they had months to look at where etc & the fact that I brought her a map prior to us even booking has meant nothing !!

I am now thoroughly distraught by the whole thing .
Apparently I’m the one ‘ controlling’ the situation!
When this person ( a female btw) is asked anything re where to go which route all we get is ‘ I’m not driving ‘
Basically at this point in time , I’m done with it .
I was asked by the other person ( not the moody one ) to not book any further than our stay 2 nights ago .
Also to change other bookings & to cancel the longest booking at the other end of our stay before we travelled ,
Which in my opinion was a huge mistake. .
I don’t want to do remind this person that I have not made any decisions on my own but that she has failed to respond to any WhatsApp messages or emails or even face to face conversations.

So again thank you but it’s now absolutely necessary for me to depart .
Unfortunately leaving our other sibling to deal with the situation.

This is always the case no input at all !

Oh dear. Siblings eh! Well you've now made your decision to depart from them and do your own thing. Hope you get to enjoy the rest of your trip.

What a pity your lovely trip has ended like this. I'm wondering if the moody one has completely different perceptions from yours? What might her viewpoint be? Was she accustomed to a previous OH arranging holidays and understanding what she liked and didn't like? Might she see you as controlling and bossy or inflexible? I'm not saying you are btw, just wondering how she might've feeling. Will she now have to make all her own arrangements? I hope you manage to enjoy the rest of your trip and try to put your irritating sibling's behaviour behind you.

NanaTuesday

So here we are finally 9 Days into a long haul trip , one that the 3d wheel of our party has caused major headaches before comping .
Now we are here it hasn’t changed for the better despite is thinking that ‘maybe. It would settle the person down .

Alas NO .

Every day there is a new drama ,caused by person themselves , whether it’s something not working or a personal item , lost or broken wires , chargers glasses, wet clothes, not enough clothes , even to the point of what is lacking or should of been done in accommodation.
. Or the cost of a bacon sandwich ,you name it it it’s either. A Moan &. It just one it’s a constant about the same thing …or. a drama .

As the person who booked & planned this trip I’m well versed in their comments etc etc.or lack of .

However living with it on the road for even the last 10 days since we left home is a living nightmare .
it can be likened to walking on egg shells .

This person did not research one single iota of our planned trip , Neither did they make any suggestions & deite the itinerary being spoken about emailed, whhatsapped , face to face conversations they were completely unaware of where we are going !!!!!
so when we plan a day in a certain place they have no idea& the comment is “ What’s there. “ !!

When we sit down with the map & travel guide it’s much the same , or there will be no interaction, which is precisely what was occurring before we travelled & in the planning stages .

It is hard work & we still have another 21 days of travel.

I’m not asking for ideas though , the best way with this travel companion is to stay quite , When they want to say something if you don’t greet they with their option it turns into a row ( them doing the shouting telling you ,I’m still talking ,even if you rent speaking over them ,)
From thes simplest of discussions,they will turn it into someth8ng else & then turn away & sulk ,
I just needed to vent , thanks for listening.

Thank you all for the responses you took time to write , I was at my absolute lowest when I took posting .

I little update on what happened next .

Unfortunately things didn’t get better but neither did I quit the trip & go it alone despite my best efforts to do so .
It was a hard decision & I had to think of the other party in our trip .

I am now home & focusing on the good points ( there were a few )
The whole point of the trip was to visit our aged relatives with the bonus of doing a road trip .

Nothing went according to plan ( tbh the plan that I was left to make with no real interaction from the other parties )
I’m not sure what their intentions were but it was clearly different to mine when it came to spending time with our relatives!
The small amount of time that was spent with them after travelling to the other side of the world was embarrassing to say the least .

As I am the one person who is in constant contact with our relatives I found it difficult to pass on messages ( to my fellow travellers) without it seeming as if it was my plans , due to the criticism I was receiving.
Things were fraught & the moody one was prone to angry outbursts at any given time . From the somewhat innocuous choosing of a cucumber to my saying that the $99 NZD shop was equivalent to what we would pay at home (approximately £43) would all result in an angry rant followed by a bout of silence .
This was the norm & for my part I decided not to say anything as I was shutdown at every opportunity

& now a 5 days after arriving home I haven’t head a word from that person .

Oh dear 😅

It sounds like you need another holiday to get over the last one!! Definitely give this negative, draining, miserable person a wide berth in future 😉.

Aww what a shame you had a rubbish time
I'm currently on day 16 of a road trip in Canada with my DH and DS1 ( who works in canada) ....we are having the best time...of course there has been some give and take....only to be expected .

Glad you're enjoying your holiday in Canada, Louisa, sounds wonderful 😀.

^I wouldn’t recommend it again & it’s hard on the other party who knows better than I do to deal with the ‘Moody One’ !
Anyway , here we are & I thought I’d update you all^

Smile through gritted teeth (but try not to break one, it could be expensive!).

Has this person always been like this or is this new behaviour? Could it be the start of dementia?

This is AWFUL.
Can you pay the person to leave and go home? Suggest that she (assumption!) isn't enjoying the trip and tell her it's spoiling it for you and the other person and that she might prefer to cut it short.
Expensive but you need to get shot of her

Why did she agree to go with you??

Romola

This is AWFUL.
Can you pay the person to leave and go home? Suggest that she (assumption!) isn't enjoying the trip and tell her it's spoiling it for you and the other person and that she might prefer to cut it short.
Expensive but you need to get shot of her

They're home now, the holiday is over. Hopefully NanaTuesday has nicer friends than relatives 🤞.

Louisa1523, what part of Canada? We have had such varying weather; in our area we are still getting snow, which is very unusual for here.

Oh dear, this thread is giving me anxiety! I am just about to embark on a two week trip with four friends, two of them who have not made a single contribution to the itinerary despite many in person in planning meetings and continual WhatsApp and email communications. They have both dilly dallied with making their flight and accommodation arrangements and had a hard time downloading any apps required for arranging their ETA from Canada to the UK and for their rail cards. They don’t seem to have anything more than the vaguest idea what we are doing while away. But, I know once we get there one of them will follow around like a toddler needing to be directed and the other will have at least one issue a day. I am already exhausted by having taken on the role of organizer and am at the point where I don’t want to go and am racking my brain on a good reason to stay home!

Just snap "stop moaning " at them!

Nana Tuesday
Why do it if so bad. I wouldn’t involve them ever again. I think I might even book a homeward journey before trip ended and tell the person why. Cut your losses and get out for peace of mind!

I cant for the life of me understand why this person was allowed to go with you. Its not done your health any good whatsoever as you don't need that amount of stress on your body

NanaTuesday

Thank you 🤩
That’s exactly my plan .
I did need to vent , so thanks for listening 🙏😎

So many suggestions, what exactly is your plan?

Well, you live and learn. I presume you will never contemplate a trip with this little ray of sunshine ever again?

You have my utmost sympathy as I do know someone who sounds very similar and just a coffee date with her gives me the screaming habdabs.
Is it possible that you could take her to one side and say that she's obviously not enjoying the holiday and as the person who made all the arrangements you're finding it very difficult to cope with the constant complaints and it's spoiling the holiday for you and others Then suggest that if she would like to cut her holiday short and go home you will try to help her arrange this as she dislikes everything so much. She probably won't want to go home as it will cost her but it may quieten her down a little perhaps?