Traveling now - dramas

Aww what a shame you had a rubbish time
I'm currently on day 16 of a road trip in Canada with my DH and DS1 ( who works in canada) ....we are having the best time...of course there has been some give and take....only to be expected .

It sounds like you need another holiday to get over the last one!! Definitely give this negative, draining, miserable person a wide berth in future 😉.

NanaTuesday

So here we are finally 9 Days into a long haul trip , one that the 3d wheel of our party has caused major headaches before comping .
Now we are here it hasn’t changed for the better despite is thinking that ‘maybe. It would settle the person down .

Alas NO .

Every day there is a new drama ,caused by person themselves , whether it’s something not working or a personal item , lost or broken wires , chargers glasses, wet clothes, not enough clothes , even to the point of what is lacking or should of been done in accommodation.
. Or the cost of a bacon sandwich ,you name it it it’s either. A Moan &. It just one it’s a constant about the same thing …or. a drama .

As the person who booked & planned this trip I’m well versed in their comments etc etc.or lack of .

However living with it on the road for even the last 10 days since we left home is a living nightmare .
it can be likened to walking on egg shells .

This person did not research one single iota of our planned trip , Neither did they make any suggestions & deite the itinerary being spoken about emailed, whhatsapped , face to face conversations they were completely unaware of where we are going !!!!!
so when we plan a day in a certain place they have no idea& the comment is “ What’s there. “ !!

When we sit down with the map & travel guide it’s much the same , or there will be no interaction, which is precisely what was occurring before we travelled & in the planning stages .

It is hard work & we still have another 21 days of travel.

I’m not asking for ideas though , the best way with this travel companion is to stay quite , When they want to say something if you don’t greet they with their option it turns into a row ( them doing the shouting telling you ,I’m still talking ,even if you rent speaking over them ,)
From thes simplest of discussions,they will turn it into someth8ng else & then turn away & sulk ,
I just needed to vent , thanks for listening.

Thank you all for the responses you took time to write , I was at my absolute lowest when I took posting .

I little update on what happened next .

Unfortunately things didn’t get better but neither did I quit the trip & go it alone despite my best efforts to do so .
It was a hard decision & I had to think of the other party in our trip .

I am now home & focusing on the good points ( there were a few )
The whole point of the trip was to visit our aged relatives with the bonus of doing a road trip .

Nothing went according to plan ( tbh the plan that I was left to make with no real interaction from the other parties )
I’m not sure what their intentions were but it was clearly different to mine when it came to spending time with our relatives!
The small amount of time that was spent with them after travelling to the other side of the world was embarrassing to say the least .

As I am the one person who is in constant contact with our relatives I found it difficult to pass on messages ( to my fellow travellers) without it seeming as if it was my plans , due to the criticism I was receiving.
Things were fraught & the moody one was prone to angry outbursts at any given time . From the somewhat innocuous choosing of a cucumber to my saying that the $99 NZD shop was equivalent to what we would pay at home (approximately £43) would all result in an angry rant followed by a bout of silence .
This was the norm & for my part I decided not to say anything as I was shutdown at every opportunity

& now a 5 days after arriving home I haven’t head a word from that person .

Oh dear 😅

What a pity your lovely trip has ended like this. I'm wondering if the moody one has completely different perceptions from yours? What might her viewpoint be? Was she accustomed to a previous OH arranging holidays and understanding what she liked and didn't like? Might she see you as controlling and bossy or inflexible? I'm not saying you are btw, just wondering how she might've feeling. Will she now have to make all her own arrangements? I hope you manage to enjoy the rest of your trip and try to put your irritating sibling's behaviour behind you.

Oh dear. Siblings eh! Well you've now made your decision to depart from them and do your own thing. Hope you get to enjoy the rest of your trip.

GoldenAge

Thank you for you input.

However at this precise moment in time I am looking at both taxis & a flight back to our destination.

While sitting organising our itinerary for the next few days we (being me ) asked
A simple question of “ does anyone else fancy the rain forest ‘?
The response was “what will we do in the rain forest ‘
Of course , I didn’t think to not respond myself My response “ see the rain forest ‘

Was met with silence from the moody one .
So sitting attempting to make a plan & plot our next few days let alone the remaining weeks is like ww3 !

I have not stormed off but said you sort it , and again was met with you show me a map & take it away .
And being told all sorts .
I am not having my holiday ruined any longer & will go to stay with my relatives who we came here to see anyway .
Obviously the fact that they had months to look at where etc & the fact that I brought her a map prior to us even booking has meant nothing !!

I am now thoroughly distraught by the whole thing .
Apparently I’m the one ‘ controlling’ the situation!
When this person ( a female btw) is asked anything re where to go which route all we get is ‘ I’m not driving ‘
Basically at this point in time , I’m done with it .
I was asked by the other person ( not the moody one ) to not book any further than our stay 2 nights ago .
Also to change other bookings & to cancel the longest booking at the other end of our stay before we travelled ,
Which in my opinion was a huge mistake. .
I don’t want to do remind this person that I have not made any decisions on my own but that she has failed to respond to any WhatsApp messages or emails or even face to face conversations.

So again thank you but it’s now absolutely necessary for me to depart .
Unfortunately leaving our other sibling to deal with the situation.

This is always the case no input at all !

NanaTuesday - 30 days is a long time to be at close quarters with someone who you've known in advance is predisposed to being negative and you're only 25% through the ordeal. Venting to a computer screen won't make the remaining 75% of the trip pleasurable so you need to bite the bullet and clear the air. Tell this person that you will give them the itinerary for the rest of the trip and that what they don't fancy doing they should duck out of and choose something else to do, and that what they do fancy doing they should join with a positive outlook so that all three of you can enjoy it without depressing comments. Do remember that the other person (not the 3rd wheel) is also being affected by this person's negativity and may be very happy to join you in putting forward this viewpoint. This is all about setting boundaries, and one might be that in future you exclude this person from your social life.

With luck the relations you are visiting will be bundles of joy and light - I do hope so.

It’s a bit of a left-field thought, but I hope you can plan Christmas/ any other future event with happy people this year and keep yourself cheerful by looking forward to that.

NanaTuesday

So here we are finally 9 Days into a long haul trip , one that the 3d wheel of our party has caused major headaches before comping .
Now we are here it hasn’t changed for the better despite is thinking that ‘maybe. It would settle the person down .

Alas NO .

Every day there is a new drama ,caused by person themselves , whether it’s something not working or a personal item , lost or broken wires , chargers glasses, wet clothes, not enough clothes , even to the point of what is lacking or should of been done in accommodation.
. Or the cost of a bacon sandwich ,you name it it it’s either. A Moan &. It just one it’s a constant about the same thing …or. a drama .

As the person who booked & planned this trip I’m well versed in their comments etc etc.or lack of .

However living with it on the road for even the last 10 days since we left home is a living nightmare .
it can be likened to walking on egg shells .

This person did not research one single iota of our planned trip , Neither did they make any suggestions & deite the itinerary being spoken about emailed, whhatsapped , face to face conversations they were completely unaware of where we are going !!!!!
so when we plan a day in a certain place they have no idea& the comment is “ What’s there. “ !!

When we sit down with the map & travel guide it’s much the same , or there will be no interaction, which is precisely what was occurring before we travelled & in the planning stages .

It is hard work & we still have another 21 days of travel.

I’m not asking for ideas though , the best way with this travel companion is to stay quite , When they want to say something if you don’t greet they with their option it turns into a row ( them doing the shouting telling you ,I’m still talking ,even if you rent speaking over them ,)
From thes simplest of discussions,they will turn it into someth8ng else & then turn away & sulk ,
I just needed to vent , thanks for listening.

Re my OP
Thank you for the many helpful & some kind tips etc .
Tbh it is a family trip not with DC or DH inlaws or parents but the ones you grew up with closely
It was a family decision to travel to visit relations ( now elderly )on what a 🌎round the world trip .
One that people save for for years & plan for .
I have travelled here before more than once to visiting those relatives.Though not done as much travelling as planned this trip .
This person is a fun sucker . Just yesterday sat in vehicle bemoaning the heat through car window .
Day before refused my loan of a coat when they repeatedly moaned about being cold 🥶 as they had left theirs in car . 🚙
It’s like having a sulking child on board with you .
I’m dealing with it by ignoring it .
But what happens is that every little thing now irritates .
Obviously it’s the other way round also . I wouldn’t recommend it again & it’s hard on the other party who knows better than I do to deal with the ‘Moody One’ !
Anyway , here we are & I thought I’d update you all .

CanadianGran

I'm assuming you are typing on your phone, since this post is a bit hard to read.

Are you all sharing accommodations? I would try to make some space for myself away from this person, by spending a bit of time away from them each day.

If possible, try a conversation (before cocktail hour!) saying that she seems unhappy with some of the arrangements, and what she would like to do about it. Put it in her hands. Then it can be a 'put up or shut up' situation if she doesn't have any better ideas.

As for all the small complaints (the lost items or food complaints), tease her gently about being too fussy and remind her what a wonderful situation you are in; the fact that you can afford this holiday, the wonderful scenery, change from the routine etc.

Good luck, deep breaths!

Canadiangran
That is really good advice thank you 🙏

So he / she is third wheel? Does this mean you are couple with them added on? Are you three of the same sex? I don’t get the basics
A third person often feels left out or awkward I always avoid .. so a bit of background info on why they were invited? Made the holiday cheaper? Did you hope it would make their lives better and so included them? Why are they so resentful let’s call her a she I’m fed up with the plural .. does she think you are a know it all? Bossy? Or is she just one of those totally negative people who moan out of habit? I have a neighbour like this I don’t know how her family cope. I think a good vent on here is good. Without more practical information I can’t imagine what’s going on. What does the other person think ? are there just three of you?

Rebook single rooms and get away from this person. Might cost a bit but worth it in terms of sanity.

Thank you 🤩
That’s exactly my plan .
I did need to vent , so thanks for listening 🙏😎

Tried that one ☝️

I hate to say it but you are just going to have to "HAVE it OUT" with the person, AND NO ifs AND NO buts ...just get on with it

I am puzzled as to why you arranged it in the first place, sorry it does not make sense. The Holiday is just living up to your expectations.

Why on earth have you not said anything to this person. Or are you the sort to just suffer in silence.

Are you the martyr type?

How about taking a deep breath, and having a conversation with this person? Not to attack, but to see how they are feeling and also to tell them what it is like for you. Not focused on blame but both listening well to the other............it might work! I have seen situations like this one resolved by really good listening to each other. Good luck!

Eh?

Just tell them to go back home.

Too difficult to read.

Keep venting ! Keep drinking (gin/wine) ....& just remember how bad it is so you dont invite them again!! Hope it gets better for you

Nothing worse than being on holiday with someone who moans all the time.

I just wanted to say that I’m so sorry this person is ruining your holiday. There may be very good reasons why they had to go with you but that doesn’t help much. I hope something changes, soon!

Oh dear, what a shame. Any way you can change the itinerary and build in a ‘do our own thing’ day, just for a break?