Men on forum

I certainly don’t object to men being on Gransnet……..they have as much life experience as women.

As for the private messages……..they could be from women posing as men……..nowt as queer as folk!

Galaxy

This one doesnt, but it isnt unreasonable to try to exclude a demographic. Tricky but not unreasonable.
I would think any woman who went on a site which acted as support group for men to speak about their mental health was an absolutely horrendous human being. I would think any man who went on a site for women survivors of assault was also a tool. Many sites by their nature are exclusive. Hard to police obviously but they can be aimed at specific groups.

A site can be aimed at a group (eg for supporters of Wolverhampton Wanderers) or can be moderated to exclude discussion of anything other than recipes using peanut butter, but it is all but impossible to ensure than only certain people can access it. I post on boards where you have to be a member for 6 months and also have 100 posts before you can access private areas. This means that regulars can use the private forums to discuss personal matters in relative safety, but even then, human nature is such that we all know there could be breaches, in the same way that telling a trusted person a secret is risky in 'real life'. It's good in that it prevents things like invasions from Reddit or wherever to bully posters who have different opinions, though, and people can get advice about a difficult boss or relative without fear of them seeing the thread.

I don't understand why someone would want to intrude on others' privacy, or post somewhere they aren't wanted, although I realise that it happens. They must have strange lives if that's what they feel a need to do, but the Internet is a strange place.

Surely people who want to receive support for specific issues they are dealing with would normally seek out a support group which has a closed membership? There are plenty of them out there, some of which are very tightly managed. That’s not what Gransnet aims to be, as a public forum.

I think support groups are different from discussion boards, (as you say), but even so, it is difficult to know who members really are, unless they are known personally to the administrators.

You’re right Doodledog, but I think because there are pretty active admins on them, anybody who transgresses the forum rules is booted off quickly. It is easier when only a small subject of interest is covered, that it could be on a public site like this.

I like the fact men are on here as they have a different view point on things . Because we all use usernames no one knows if they are taking to man or woman . And I would miss Good morning on the chat forum and that's started by a man.

I have had PM from men and women that weren't nice so I just block and delete.

The general instinct to automatically assume exclusivity due to personal preference is a pretty tribal and primitive one. The fact is public forums will have a variety of participants from various walks of life. The internet is not real-life, in person society. Those that expect the same constraints lack a fundamental understanding of the point of public forums. It’s called the world wide web for a reason. It was meant to be open. It think it’s weird to use the internet without accepting the very nature of it. It’s not a private social club. You can have all the demographic targets you want and it won’t mean much. It is what it is. If someone is interacting with you individually in a manner that violates site rules, report it to the mods. We have the right not to be harassed online. Better to control what we can than to lament that the internet is not exclusive. It makes more sense to worry less about what we have the ability to simply scroll past and report. No one forces anyone to read anything they don’t want to. To say “why would you post somewhere people don’t want you to” is assuming that “unwanted person” takes the internet serious enough to care. I definitely don’t. No poster here is making any money or winning any prizes for being on Gransnet. It’s just not that serious. It’s a non-physical “place” to pass time. It’s also important to understand that there are more people reading than participating in discussions anyway. The site needs views to sustain itself; shall we restrict who gets to read it as well? They certainly can’t turn a profit from the handful of people who post here. Rather than trying to control and restrict others, we should practice the discipline to simply stop reading what we don’t want. I ignore much both here and another forum. It costs me nothing.

It’s important to note that the words ‘pirvacy’ and ‘internet’ don’t mix. Your data isn’t even “private” as Gransnet has sold it many times over for profit. Google has sold it many times over for profit. The ads you see aren’t coincidence. They are the lifeblood of such a forum. I’d worry less about other posters and more about how your personal information is bought and sold ad nauseam by using sites like this who collect your data. The other posters don’t have your email address, location, shopping, and browsing habits. This is normal. It doesn’t make economic sense for a “free” forum like this to restrict members, so don’t expect restrictions on who gets to sign up.

If.all of the adverts on GN included men and interests of men, it wouldn't be so confusing.

The thing is that isnt entirely accurate with regards to the 'importance' of MN. The predominantly female make up has had a massive impact both politically and for many of the women who use it.
If men can send unwanted PMs then women of course can express the view that there are benefits from a site mainly made up of females.

If any are looking for a woman only forum- google and find your preferred forum of choice. Have just googled: Women's Thoughts Forum (home, garden and every day life) Woman Only Forum- Hive Index -(beauty, maternal health and general women's health) Top50 Women Forum, The Women's Centre Cornwall ( Campfire)- for women affected by domestic abuse etc etc.

Nothing on an internet forum is 'private' as you not leave a footprint but also your posts are accessible to anyone with access to the WWW and join the site- or are a recipient of data the forum site webmaster sells/shares. You can however seek anonymity by using an anonymised username and by not posting anything that others could attribute to you as an individual.

I decided at the outset to make it clear that I am male 49 is my birth year, I certainly don't have a lot in common with the views of the ultra liberals that participate.
I have 8 DGC their progress often influences my posts.

David glad you are on GN. I had some good advice that have turned out to be men. To honest I like taking to men and when I was younger had more male friends than female . After my husband died that changed I think because I was 45 women thought I was after a replacement to my husband. Until I moved to the north west . Here my taxi drivers are all men and have a lovely chat about different topics.

I don't talk to men and women any definitely. And I have no filters in real life. But then I again not always on GN. But thats me if people see my name and don't like what I write then don't read it.

Macaydia

If.all of the adverts on GN included men and interests of men, it wouldn't be so confusing.

We aren’t even seeing the same ads all the time. Many of them are a result of individual online activity. It’s how the money is made from “free” forums/sites. Tracking users and creating profiles based things such as engagement, location, etc is how targeted ads work. A male spending much time on gransnet will see a combination of targeted ads and those from companies who paid the higher fees to the site or Google for more general visibility. A wise thing to remember is that if it’s “free” you are “paying” with the information you provide. That includes apps, free streaming services etc. That’s why it is a bit silly to focus on who is posting. There are more people who read and don’t post. I suppose to the site it’s better for them. Fewer comments to moderate but they still get the data and views they need to get ad money/profit.

I like the fact men are on here as they have a different view point on things .

So do I.

I knew someone would say that, but I find that men are like women, in that they are individuals who think as such, not 'as men'.

BlessedArt
Thank you for explaining about the ads.

Doodledog

I knew someone would say that, but I find that men are like women, in that they are individuals who think as such, not 'as men'.

No.

No?

Do you think all men think alike? How odd.

No, as in many think as men, and not women.
I would say 90%.

80%
That type of figure.

I enjoy seeing viewpoints / advice from men.

There are very few to my knowledge on Grasnet.

I have never had any issues from men in the group that demonstrated a lack of respect or were seeking a date !

Married and a young granparents and we live in The Capital of Madrid, Spain, so definitely it would be out of order !! and unwelcomed.

Im a centrist, my wife has more right wing opinions we don't discuss politics and I don't know which way she votes. The comments other men make indicate more to the right of my own opinion, some far right.
Even my grandsons have right wing opinions, granddaughters one quite liberal, other neutral.

fancythat

No, as in many think as men, and not women.
I would say 90%.

Ah, I see. Well yes, men will think as men, not as women; but I don't think there is a 'male view', as men all think as themselves. My husband and son agree on some things but not others, and the same applies to male friends, just as to female ones.

Unless we are talking about menopause or something else specific to reproduction I don’t see the value in opinion from one sex only here. Individuals male or female will have opinions that we will agree/disagree with on a variety of issues discussed on Gransnet. No one here would even know anyone’s sex if they didn’t self-disclose.

I actually think you can frequently tell sex even on the Internet. Not always but often. Men are socialised differently to women.