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AIBU

Thank you for your sound advice

(19 Posts)
Truffle43 Thu 12-Mar-26 08:26:59

Maybe a couple of years ago I put up a post about me always helping younger siblings through different life’s crisis and their life events.
Then when my son was really sick I never once received a message from either of them asking how he was or how I was feeling. I felt let down as a quick text or email asking how he was or how I was coping would have been a comfort to me during this time.
Anyhow gransnetters advised cut the apron strings and stop worrying about them.
I did just that I’ve not contacted them and in all truthfulness I do not think they’ve even noticed but I feel better in myself .
I no longer worry about them and get on with my life.
I am not angry or bitter just done.
If they ever get in touch it will be good if not well that is life.
Thank you people for helping me decide what I needed to do for me.

Oreo Thu 12-Mar-26 08:31:39

It’s a sad situation for you, but yes, sometimes you do just have to concentrate on your own health and sanity.😃

Fallingstar Thu 12-Mar-26 08:40:22

I am so glad to hear this having problems with a younger brother myself. Won’t go into it now but sounds similar to your case. Since my DH had a massive stroke I had to put our needs first.
Sorry your younger siblings are like this but you have made the right call, and glad advice given on here helped you make it.

Smileless2012 Thu 12-Mar-26 08:56:03

I was also in a similar situation Truffle and asked for GN's opinions when my brother who'd ceased contact with me, asked our cousin a week or so before Christmas to pass on his details so I could contact him if I wanted too.

I'd already decided against and the support I received here confirmed that I'd done the right thing and took away any sense of guilt or regret.

I'm so pleased that the decision you took has been the right one for you smile.

knspol Thu 12-Mar-26 14:02:03

I'm glad it has worked out well for you, any decrease in stress can only be good.

Jojo1950 Thu 12-Mar-26 14:09:33

I have done the same! Better for your health!

MT62 Thu 12-Mar-26 14:11:27

Have you not heard from them since?

Chaitriona Thu 12-Mar-26 14:39:55

It is very sad. You did all this for them and they took it for granted and did not make any return when you had need of support. You asked for very little after all. Just a kind message would have been enough for you. Unfortunately it is not a rare thing. I am so sorry about your son. I hope he is better now.

loopylindy Thu 12-Mar-26 14:40:11

We live less than 2miles from sibling and other relatives, yet we've seen less of them since living here than when we visited. In the last few months I've had a heart attack, fractured vertebra and diagnosed with heart failure. In that time I've seen one relative no more than 5 times, one 3 times and one not at all.
We've never mentioned this to the family, but we have no children, so I wonder if they wonder where our estate will go...

Barbadosbelle Thu 12-Mar-26 14:51:03

Loopylindy

Hopefully not to them!!
And, hopefully, you have a friend or two who are reliable and kind and more deserving. I hope so.
.

4allweknow Thu 12-Mar-26 18:09:43

Amazing how others can cause so much stress in your life. Really good your action has worked out well for you.

Truffle43 Sat 14-Mar-26 13:24:50

MT62
No nothing whatsoever.

petra Sat 14-Mar-26 13:35:20

Truffle
There’s a very true saying: it’s only the squeaky wheel that gets the oil.

crazyH Sat 14-Mar-26 13:35:43

Truffle43 - I hope your son is better.
You too Loopylindy- hope you have recovered well.

Aldom Sat 14-Mar-26 13:38:31

It's lovely when an OP returns with an update on the outcome. Especially nice when advice has been taken and appreciated.
I hope your son is much better now.
Look after yourself. Best wishes. flowers

MT62 Sat 14-Mar-26 13:47:30

MT62

Have you not heard from them since?

That is a shame.
‘What goes round comes round’, maybe one day they will need you again.
Personally I wouldn’t make myself available as they sound really selfish.

Truffle43 Sun 15-Mar-26 17:07:17

Thank you all.
My son is doing ok. It is cancer but he is still fighting and the hospital are pleased with his progress upto now so fingers crossed.

Allsorts Tue 17-Mar-26 05:28:53

Truffle, you did the right thing. I am glad to hear your son is making progress and wish him well. Take care of yourself.

MarieElla Fri 20-Mar-26 23:39:01

Well done for acting on the advice. All too often FOG (dear, obligation, guilt) keeps us stuck in toxic family relationships.