DH holidaying in USA when I have been diagnosed with heart disease.

Well, the situation has changed, hasn't it.
Do you have other family or friends back up?

Has he offered to stay at home or change his plans? My DH would, I think.

I wouldn't stop him as he has longed to go, you previously encouraged him- he no doubt would lose his deposit and at 81 there are only so many years he himself is fit enough to travel. H also could have a health diagnosis in the next 12 months so this may be his last chance..

In your shoes I would be delighted for him to offer not to go and stay home with me. But in the absence of that wouldn't put pressure on him.

Focusing on you- how is your new diagnosis impacting on your daily activities? What specific help are you getting from your husband on a day to day basis that needs to be replaced whilst he is away? I would encourage that conversation with him and together you can both come up with some solutions? How can that assistance

With treatment (medications, diet, exercise, weight management and lifestyle changes), many individuals live for decades with this condition if it is fairly mild.
I think there are several "stages" or "levels" of this problem so I'd have a chat with your GP about your own situation and your fears.

If you have only just found out I expect you are scared (most of us would be) and that you need to find out the facts of your own level of ischaemic heart disease.

Fingers crossed you will have many years left and soon you will be happy and will confidently be able to say "bon voyage" to your dear husband.

I agree with what others have said with regard to putting your mind at rest with regard to your diagnosis, it must be really scary right now but am hoping that with the right meds and lifestyle changes you will be able to enjoy a good quality of life.
Wouldn’t stop your DH, let him enjoy what must be a really big deal for him, and which you must have encouraged him to do.
Does your condition require you to rest frequently and so need help with daily life?
If so could a family member or close friend drop in whilst your DH is away to help with shopping, chores that you can’t manage, or to just keep you company?

I would be furious if DH cancelled the holiday of a life time, jsut because I was ill - unless what I had was terminal or very severe. What a burden of gratitude it would put on my shoulders.

I’d want him to go, not miss out on such an amazing trip. He’ll probably resent you if you stop him going. Surely you can cope for three weeks? Do you have friends & family who will help in an emergency?

I couldn’t do what you are considering.
How can you deny the man you have loved all these years the chance to see/ enjoy a place that he so dearly wants to see.

There’s a trip to Nashville etc using trains and - which might work for you - two Transatlantic crossings on the fabulous QM2. Would take 28 days but at least no flying and very relaxing

Margomar, is there anyone else who could be with you while you DH is away? I do think it would be a shame if he couldn't make this longed-for trip.
If there is someone who would be with you for that time, I would encourage him to go.

Make sure he has good travel insurance

Is your heart condition being treated effectively? If so, and your GP confirmed it would be OK for you to go, and you are able to obtain full health insurance, I think it would be better if you went with him. Many people in their later years have heart issues but, provided they are sensible in following treatment plans and being careful about diet and exercise, it does not preclude them from leading a relatively normal life. Your husband is 81 and may not be able to undertake such a trip in the future - why not accompany him and enjoy the trip together.

With heart disease not stable it's likely that you would not be able to get travel insurance at any price, medical expenses in event of treatment exceeds £100k very quickly.
At 81 you husbands insurance assuming his health is stable is going to be costly, ideally he does needs a companion, maybe a younger male family member could go with him, at least they could share rooms.

The whole pipe dream is fraught with risk

I would let him go and have his holiday of a lifetime. He needs to do it now not later. With a treatment plan you will be fine. I live alone still your age and have health issues but if I were in your shoes I would be going with him.

Let your husband go with your blessing, it’s been his dream and he’s obviously fit enough and confident enough to go
Make sure he has a very, very good insurance because at his age if anything happened to him even a small trip, could end up in needing medical treatment which would cost the earth in USA

As for you, hopefully it’s because it’s a new diagnosis making you so scared, because think of the many, many people with health problems more severe than yours who are living alone and managing perfectly.
You will manage well if you allow yourself to. Accept any help offered, let neighbours ( if you’ve got good ones) keep an eye on you, if you have children, grandchildren, close enough to pop in, if not make an agreement to phone you each day.

You are probably a bit in shock from your diagnosis but you are not defined by your illness, you can live perfectly well for three weeks on your own, it’s not a lifetime and would be selfish of you to stop him going.

One last thing when he goes, if he rings you, do not go on about how scared you are, how upset, how ill, do not spoil his dream. pull your big girl Knicks up and tell him you’re doing fine.

Re insurance.

Just remember that with travel insurance, you sometimes aren’t covered if a close relative has a specific health condition.

Might apply to you and your DH, with your diagnosis.

“Almost three weeks” is not a long time. What would be surprising is if you couldn’t manage without him.

At certain times in life, I believe people have earned a “free pass” to fulfil their dreams. Let him go, and work on addressing your own fears.

Isn’t that only if you are genetically related to them Calandergirl? How could Margonas health effect her husbands insurance they are not genetically related

Is Margomar's heart issue "unstable" David?

We don't know how recent the diagnosis is but it sounds to me that it's come "out of the blue" - which can initially be pretty scary. Even the OP says she is "probably being unreasonable".

Please let him.There is no worry about ICE if you are not brown-skinnned. Doctors can take care of you. Your DH is not a doctor.

Calendargirl

Re insurance.

Just remember that with travel insurance, you sometimes aren’t covered if a close relative has a specific health condition.

Might apply to you and your DH, with your diagnosis.

My dad died whilst we were visiting DD in Australia.
No indication that would happen but the insurance company contacted dad’s GP to check.

NotSpaghetti

Is Margomar's heart issue "unstable" David?

We don't know how recent the diagnosis is but it sounds to me that it's come "out of the blue" - which can initially be pretty scary. Even the OP says she is "probably being unreasonable".

I have been taking blood pressure tablets for 3 yrs it's under control and stable, Ive declare the treatment and insurance has accepted the risk

The OP says the condition is recently diagnosed it could be controlled quickly it might get worse, at present you don't know. The insurance will most likely refuse insurance, it's possible they would exclude any heart event as a preexisting condition, so travel at your own risk.

But what is "recent" anyway?
That was my point earlier - I suggested speaking to her GP (about being safe whilst he was away).

It wasn't me who suggested taking the trip with him - but if her medical team and insurance company thinks it is acceptable then the sailing idea isn't unreasonable in my opinion.

I think that I'd wouldn't any pressure on him to cancel or shorten his trip.
You hopefully have family and friends to support you .

My father wanted to go on a trip to Canada and planned it and my mother absolutely refused to go and wouldn't even discuss it .
He cancelled his much longed for trip and said nothing .
Looking back ,I recall that she'd decided to go out as little as possible.
She refused to go out in the evenings as well.