Grandparents name issues

I didn't want to be a Nan/Nanny/Nana for exactly that reason, Basgetti, and DD1 loved her grandparents so much that she wanted DH to have that name too. I was called Grandma by default. However, DGS 3 Couldn't manage the mouthful and we became Ma and Pa.

But, to be honest, I wouldn't care what they called me so long as they did call me. I think someone else said that.

My mum was always “Nanny Pam” and she liked it (kids’ idea, not ours). She refused to be called granny, though, as she didn’t want to sound old 😁
I love being just granny. Though if you really dislike it, you of course have the right to say so.

Take delight in seeing the grandchildren………there’s countless grandparents out there that never see theirs for one reason or another.

My grandparents were maternal …nanny and Hossie ( his name was Horace) and paternal granny and grandad
I was Nanny later Nan to five grandkids and Nannyname to my other two as they had another nanny and grandad
It all just happened I didn’t ask

But having said that I really have no idea what your problem is
You can’t both be granny and grandad can you what’s wrong with being grannysue and grandadmark
Perhaps the problem is that it’s been taken out of your hands in which case you need to tell your daughter or son what you want to be known as. Then stick to it

I'm nanny then my name I told my GC they can call me by my name if they want to it's up to them.
I referred to my grandparents as grandma/granddad then their surname. When I think about it now it was old fashioned and very formal and does not sound right.
I'm also referred to as naughty nanny as I tell my GC they can't pull the wool over my eyes as they do their parents. It's family fun and they love it I can't abide formality it does not belong in family.

I have known grannies get most upset when they want to be granny not nanny but the other nanny is already a granny and wants to be granny to be consistent. In that situation you do generally end up with an add on, in our case the grannies were identified by the cities they lived in, not very personal really but it's how it evolved. They are long gone but still referred to as Granny Timbuktu and Granny Gambia (or similar). Anyway l don't think either of my children's grannies would liked to have been called granny-first-name so l can understand why Granny Bunny is so cross. Unfortunately there's not much to be done unless you decide, as someone has suggested, to call everyone their relative status-plus-first-name. Grandson-Harry, Son-in-law-Peregrine etc, then everyone can get equally p*ssed off.

i only have one grandson and he only has one granny, he is autistic and he has the choice to call me by my first name, he has a big brother who i call my grandson and he was given the choice and he calls me by my first name, i am aunt to 13 and they all call me by my first name and have done since they were all little. i would let it go.

Get over it !
My ex-husband’s new wife is called ‘Nanny’ by my GC.
I am also called ‘Nanny’. It hurt at first but I have now accepted it.

More things to worry about in life really. I don’t understand how anyone could get steamed up about it. Just make a joke of it and ask how many other grans they have that they need to be reminded of your name.

The point is though that Bunnny doesn't like it and has asked it to stop.

My eldest grandchildren called me Nana followed by my first name and maternal Nana followed by hers, didn't bother either of us

I'm failing to see the big problem about it, honestly.
I didn't realise people felt so strongly about this kind of thing.

We are called by our first names.
We call them by theirs... however, if you don't like what they call you then I'd gently correct them.
Maybe even say "oh dear, I don't think grandma green can remember my name!?"

My grandchildren call me Granny * with my first name tacked on. Nice and personal I think so I love it.

Yes if I am alone with them like MOnica it's just Grandma.

Buunny
If it's just you alone with them do they still actually say Grandma x or just Grandma?

I actually quite like my first name being used, come to think of it. It feels sort of more me than an abstract "Grandma"

I think one thing a lot of us have to face - is that DiL's often make these decisions more than our DS's .......and thats just the way of things?

Well my grandchildren have 5 grandparents as I divorced my husband (we get one really well now so no tensions)

My Ex is "Pops" which he loves, I am Grandma Wyllow, Pops, partner is just her first name.

DiL - (who makes these crucial decisions) Mum and Dad are Grandma and Grandad, but that fine with me, as they see them a lot more often. Yes the family are closer to them, but they don't love me any the less?

OP I totally get why you’re upset . It’s not up to her to name you. You should do the same thing back to her . Ask DGC have they been to see nanny Susan this week ?
When my eldest grandson was small he called his maternal grandmother round nanny and me triangle nanny . It took us months to learn that it was because of the shape of the drives in front of our houses 😂.
My Welsh DGC referred to us as nain Trixie and nain bob , after our dogs 😂.

I don't understand why this is such an issue for you Bunny maybe you are getting things a bit out of proportion. It's lovely that your grandchildren have two sets of grandparents to love them. I read so many posts on here about families being estranged it's good to hear of families who are together. Just ignore the name issue and enjoy time with your family, grandchildren grow up so quickly.

Happy healthy GC. Honestly just park this and enjoy them. Life is just too short.

It may not seem like a big issue to others but it is to you and your DH so the other grandma and others in the family should respect your preferences, it isn’t hard to do, so they should just do it.

Bunnny try making a joke of it with the children instead of correcting them.
For example if they call you Granny Bunnny rather than just Granny, call them Granddaughter Polly or Grandson Tommy.
When they say, "Hey I'm just Polly!" (Or Tommy) you can say, "Yes and I'm just Granny," and have a laugh about it with them.
Hopefully 😁

What were you wanting to be called?

I and my companion grandmother are both known to our grand children as Grandma M0nica and Grandma Susan. When we are all together DGC call us just Grandma, unless the name is needed to make it clear which grandmother is being addressed.

I also think that grandparents should choose, but if both want to be called the same thing, there has to be a way to differentiate. In that case, that differentiation should be up to the individuals too. As a child we had a Granny and a Nana, and grandfathers were Grandad Firstname and Grandad Surname, oddly. I'd never considered that until now. Children just accept what they are told, usually.

I don't think it's disrespectful either way, other than that the other grandmother isn't listening to the OP when she asks for her wishes to be respected. Also, if surnames are used, it is the father's parents who usually have the same name as the grandchildren, which could be made into an issue if the maternal ones were insecure enough.

When the children are older you could gently correct them, though. 'No, silly, I'm Granny Smith, aren't I?' would do it (better if your actual name doesn't make you sound like an apple though )

It's a bit annoying to be assigned a name, but I think it's best to let it go. Or perhaps say you'd like to be e.g. GrannyP or whatever your first name is.

Use her name tacked on to Nanna ? See how she likes it