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Grandparents name issues

(18 Posts)
Bunnny Sat 13-Jun-26 18:50:14

I am really angry and annoyed by this. The partial grandmother keeps referring to us as gran and and grandad and then using our first names on the end. I have asked her not to do this and also told her son to ask her to stop.
She does not listen and so it continues and my daughter says what the problem it’s not such a big issue. But I think it is and we feel it is disrespectful to us both. Now their children are starting to us this and we are having to correct them which I don’t think is fair and also confusing for them. Also she just likes to be known has nanna.

Hilda123 Sat 13-Jun-26 18:54:50

What is a partial grandmother?

Farmor15 Sat 13-Jun-26 19:03:25

Probably meant parental!

Hilda123 Sat 13-Jun-26 19:10:03

What's a parental grandparent then???

Retread Sat 13-Jun-26 19:11:33

Paternal! I'm sure.

BoggledMind Sat 13-Jun-26 19:12:42

I think the OP is perfectly entitled to be known by whatever term they like and the others should respect that. However, I can see how first names could be seen as okay by some. Uncles and aunts are usually first name terms - Uncle Jim, Aunty Joan, for example. But that didn't apply to grandparents in our house. It was grandma or grandad followed by surname.

aggie Sat 13-Jun-26 19:13:22

Use her name tacked on to Nanna ? See how she likes it

Retread Sat 13-Jun-26 19:14:15

It's a bit annoying to be assigned a name, but I think it's best to let it go. Or perhaps say you'd like to be e.g. GrannyP or whatever your first name is.

Doodledog Sat 13-Jun-26 19:20:17

I also think that grandparents should choose, but if both want to be called the same thing, there has to be a way to differentiate. In that case, that differentiation should be up to the individuals too. As a child we had a Granny and a Nana, and grandfathers were Grandad Firstname and Grandad Surname, oddly. I'd never considered that until now. Children just accept what they are told, usually.

I don't think it's disrespectful either way, other than that the other grandmother isn't listening to the OP when she asks for her wishes to be respected. Also, if surnames are used, it is the father's parents who usually have the same name as the grandchildren, which could be made into an issue if the maternal ones were insecure enough.

When the children are older you could gently correct them, though. 'No, silly, I'm Granny Smith, aren't I?' would do it (better if your actual name doesn't make you sound like an apple though grin )

M0nica Sat 13-Jun-26 20:01:15

What were you wanting to be called?

I and my companion grandmother are both known to our grand children as Grandma M0nica and Grandma Susan. When we are all together DGC call us just Grandma, unless the name is needed to make it clear which grandmother is being addressed.

V3ra Sat 13-Jun-26 20:23:02

Bunnny try making a joke of it with the children instead of correcting them.
For example if they call you Granny Bunnny rather than just Granny, call them Granddaughter Polly or Grandson Tommy.
When they say, "Hey I'm just Polly!" (Or Tommy) you can say, "Yes and I'm just Granny," and have a laugh about it with them.
Hopefully 😁

Fallingstar Sat 13-Jun-26 20:26:26

It may not seem like a big issue to others but it is to you and your DH so the other grandma and others in the family should respect your preferences, it isn’t hard to do, so they should just do it.

Luckygirl3 Sat 13-Jun-26 20:54:53

Happy healthy GC. Honestly just park this and enjoy them. Life is just too short.

sodapop Sat 13-Jun-26 21:02:45

I don't understand why this is such an issue for you Bunny maybe you are getting things a bit out of proportion. It's lovely that your grandchildren have two sets of grandparents to love them. I read so many posts on here about families being estranged it's good to hear of families who are together. Just ignore the name issue and enjoy time with your family, grandchildren grow up so quickly.

Thisismyname1953 Sat 13-Jun-26 21:05:34

OP I totally get why you’re upset . It’s not up to her to name you. You should do the same thing back to her . Ask DGC have they been to see nanny Susan this week ?
When my eldest grandson was small he called his maternal grandmother round nanny and me triangle nanny . It took us months to learn that it was because of the shape of the drives in front of our houses 😂.
My Welsh DGC referred to us as nain Trixie and nain bob , after our dogs 😂.

Wyllow3 Sat 13-Jun-26 21:30:57

Well my grandchildren have 5 grandparents as I divorced my husband (we get one really well now so no tensions)

My Ex is "Pops" which he loves, I am Grandma Wyllow, Pops, partner is just her first name.

DiL - (who makes these crucial decisions) Mum and Dad are Grandma and Grandad, but that fine with me, as they see them a lot more often. Yes the family are closer to them, but they don't love me any the less?

Wyllow3 Sat 13-Jun-26 21:37:46

Yes if I am alone with them like MOnica it's just Grandma.

Buunny
If it's just you alone with them do they still actually say Grandma x or just Grandma?

I actually quite like my first name being used, come to think of it. It feels sort of more me than an abstract "Grandma"

I think one thing a lot of us have to face - is that DiL's often make these decisions more than our DS's .......and thats just the way of things?

CocoPops Sat 13-Jun-26 22:11:08

My grandchildren call me Granny * with my first name tacked on. Nice and personal I think so I love it.