Saying but Not Doing . Why?

Do you think your friend is just very uncertain and wants to please you both

I agree with Barbadosbelle I would not want to be friends under the terms and conditions Whiff was talking about

I think I'd just tell the dithery friend that, since she can't make up her mind, I'll be going to the venue that I booked and she's welcome to join me there.

I agree with you SpinDrift. Life and arrangements as we get older can be overwhelming or due to a variety of different feelings. I have a DF who lives a long distance from me now. She sometimes texts and says 'I was thinking of coming to see you' we arrange a date but she usually texts nearer the time and backs out of it. I personally think she gets very anxious so I just accept it. It can be a bit exasperating so I understand how it has made you feel Airyfairy. It just seems a lot like hard work. Also Barbadosbelle it is understandable with a disability that you need to be highly organised. I guess your friend knows that, so maybe, if you value the friendship you could give her a gentle reminder and start again.

Whiff

Sadly, you come across as being a rather hard and unsympathetic person - and possibly/probably rather difficult to get on with or please.
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BoggledMind

I think your friend is just worried she will disappoint you and is keen to get it right.

Fallingstar's advice about getting your other friend to speak to her about it sounds really good.

Agree. She is panicked sbout getting things wrong or didn't look at prices in the first place. Patience!!!

Sometimes I think texting is a nightmare! Years ago, a simple arrangement would have worked fine.

And as for What'sApp groups.........

Perhaps the heat is affecting her. Perhaps she is developing anxiety issues. Perhaps it could be the start of 'something'. At our age, I always tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. A lot will depend is she usually does this or if it is a new thing.

If it was me I wouldn't bother seeing her . I hate people who can't make up there mind. If I say I am going to do something no matter how ill or how bad my mobility is I do it.
Best explain I was born disabled but didn't have a diagnosis until 2022 aged 63. I worked out when I was at junior school my life runs on planning and routine..Especially since my health got worse in 1988.

A person asked if we could be friends in 2018 and explained how my life worked and if she let me down I did tell her then I would end the friendship. We where friends for 5 years meeting each week . I moved to the north west 2019 . Still kept in touch and she came to stay with me for 5 days . Then the following year was going to stay again but one of her cats was ill she had 6. So she cancelled 2 weeks before coming . The cats where her family. We rearranged her stay for 2 months later but I did warn her if she cancelled again unless it was an emergency then our friendship was over as I had explained how my life worked.

Well she cancelled a month before coming because she changed her mind so I told her our friendship was over. I would never contact her again and blocked her.

But what got me was she still put the cats in the cattery as it was booked I had assumed she stayed home with the ill one . But no she told me she put all 6 cats in the cattery and the woman who run it took the cat to the vets. And how lovely it was cat free for 6 days.

When I told her our friendship was over she cried but I told her I had warned her how my life works and she said she understood. She was divorced for a long time ,no children, older than me by 2 years no human dependants just 6 cats . She drove and never had money worries.

I know this sounds harsh but friends and family know how my life works. If I join a group ,was member of 4 but due to passive bullying I left the group 4 days later after talking to leaders for the other groups about the things 2 of the admin came to see me about. They where appalled by what they said to me and all 3 leaders hugged me and said but you are you and go out of your way to help people and my disability wasn't an issue .

I go every meeting and always early . When I book things I do it well in advance. May sound nuts but booked my May holiday2027 in May this year. Booked 5 concerts for next year so far one ,isn't until November 2027.

I hate it when people can't make up their minds . I can't be the only one who's life runs like mine.

Fallingstar

Ask your other friend to call or text her about this, you have done your best but this friend sounds a bit like one of my DDs who always dithers over decisions, is very annoying. And if you arrive tomorrow with nothing booked go to her place and order take away!!

I like that idea

Thank you.
I've been going on so much to my partner about this & I just needed a vent & see if any of you have experienced this.
Perhaps she is anxious not to disappoint.
But we are very easy going.

I did ring other friend but she said & she doesn't want to ring her or get into all the texting either!

I think your friend is just worried she will disappoint you and is keen to get it right.

Fallingstar's advice about getting your other friend to speak to her about it sounds really good.

Ask your other friend to call or text her about this, you have done your best but this friend sounds a bit like one of my DDs who always dithers over decisions, is very annoying. And if you arrive tomorrow with nothing booked go to her place and order take away!!

To sum up she suggested 7 different places & I didn't say no to any!
But she just keeps asking what I think of other places. So trying to be helpful I looked at the menus & reviews & it's been a waste of my time.
If it goes ahead tomorrow I will gently ask why it was so hard to decide.
Strangely she hasn't asked our other friend where she'd like to go at all!

How very annoying!