Mother put on child abuse register for letting her 5 year old go for a walk!

I know my own DC are far more risk averse than I was with them. Isn't it sad.

When DS1 was 6 I used to send him on errands to the local shop. He had to cross a few minor roads and add up the change.

One Sunday he arrived home in a terrible state. A "gang" of children had grabbed his loaf and sweets and stolen his change.

I was furious and picked up the baby and put all the kids in the car (no seatbelts) and drove around the neighbourhood until DS spotted the *Gang".
I parked the car and jumped out. The gang of about 5 kids the oldest possibly 9, spotted me and ran away crossing a busy road but I managed to grab hold of the littlest gang member - a child of about 4 and held her hostage while the older children threw stones at me from across a street. She screamed until a man appeared from his garden to see what was going on. I explained and he went into his house to phone the police! They arrived (even more amazing) and seemed sympathetic but told me all they could do was to take the child home to its parents in the police car.

I never thought for a minute that I had done anything wrong 😅 yet nowadays I'd be up in court for assault and child abuse etc.

Like others here I had gone to school with siblings and other DC on foot from age 5. I don't remember ever seeing adults.

Thanks for posting the video Cressida. It's great!
I know that Forest kindergartens are sprouting up and also weekly outdoor learning sessions outwith school but often incurring fees are becoming more popular.
Funny isn't it that the more parents worry about their children having too much screen time, the more popular these outdoor alternatives have become!

The kindergarten my GS went to is now a forest kindergarten and the local junior school has an outdoor learning facility. . Both are adjacent to a large tract of ancient woodland. It’s surprising how many children feel threatened by being deep in the middle of a wood if there has been no culture of introducing children to the outdoors at an early age. Or for that matter, to walking on open moorland. I had a child ask me last week what a moor was (it came up in a book we were reading at school). This city is surrounded by the most beautiful open country and she had never experienced any of it.

As an aside, when DH was a serving soldier, our living accommodation was on the edge of the disused airfield at North Weald. The estate children, who all knew each other, used to ride their bikes full tilt down the old runways where Spitfires took off in 1940. DS, who later had a full career in the RAF, remembers those days of freedom, and still relishes the historical connection.

There would have been a lot of difference for many of us between how we parented our children and the childhood we knew. Casting my mind back, my brother and I spent a lot of time playing around a stream and a pond beyond our back garden. He a couple of years older, I'm pretty sure I'd have been younger than 5 when I crawled under a gap in our back fence to play around that area. We were certainly in the stream that fed into the pond in our wellies quite often. Would I have let my children do the same at those ages. Almost certainly not.

I looked up the child drowning rates, because when I was a child a boy in my class, and two young sisters of a girl in the year below me drowned.
Historical vs. Modern Numbers:
In the 1950s and 1960s, total accidental drownings across all ages in England and Wales routinely exceeded 700 to 800 per year. Child mortality from accidents was far higher due to unsupervised outdoor play, fewer safety barriers around waterways, and a lack of widespread water safety education. By contrast, modern figures from the National Child Mortality Database (NCMD) show that in the year ending March 2025, there were 31 child drowning deaths in England. Across the entire UK, child drowning fatalities now typically average between 30 and 40 per year. [

Terribull that’s because we had much less knowledge of danger then, it wasn’t on every newspapers front page, it wasn’t on tvs (we didn’t have them ) it wasn’t on the internet, because there was no internet it wasn’t on YouTube

Every day there are huge headlines now, of child abuse, babies/ children killed, kidnapped, lost. Every day there are disappearances of children and adults, mysteries never solved.

We were told not to talk to strangers and to look both ways on the road and that was about it

Today we have the knowledge so surely it’s our duty now we know so much more to keep an eye on our little ones.

How much nicer if that mum in the article had taken her little 5 year old by the hand and walked to the river explaining all they encountered on the way, the leaves, the trees, the flowers, the animals and talking about the dangers of the water as well as the beauty. The time we give to our little ones is so precious and gone in a flash .

Casdon those statistic say it all and prove a point

If you remember we had a discussion about drowning statistics when it was very hot.
Fewer children drowning was put down to mainly to most people being taught to swim these days.

Fewer children drowning was put down to mainly to most people being taught to swim these days.

Children these days are taught to swim far earlier than we were. I didn’t learn to swim until I was at secondary school. Neither my parents, nor my much older sisters, could swim. We taught our children to swim early. But it’s not the water that’s the hazard, it’s what’s lurking underneath it, and the unexpected cold, that catches people out.

We have to fence all private swimming pools and outdoor spas now by law. The Council comes round and inspects them every couple of years and are very fussy about heights of fences, no trees at the edge etc. I agree with that, it has no doubt saved a lot of lives. However, farm dams don’t have to be fenced. You are also not allowed to leave children in cars without an adult, even just to buy petrol.

It's in the USA and of very limited relevance to us in the UK.

Cressida In the US they seem to molly coddle their children and don't let them take any risks.

In 2025 there were 233 separate gun incidents in schools and 148 children were injured or killed. Gun drill is mandatory in US schools and bullet proof backpacks are selling well.

Casdon

It is too dangerous when they are five and are explicitly going to collect feathers by a pond though, which was the case here.

This.

Allowing a 5 year old to walk out on their own is neglect.

It was right she was put on the register, I would hope she has been made to complete a safeguarding course

The OP title says he's five. When I think of what I used to do at that age (in North London!) I realise just how much the world has changed.

GrandmaKT

A bit of background of the family MT62- they have five children, the mum has a degree in family science before training as a lawyer. The father is a family therapist! They have made a positive effort not to be "helicopter parents".

What I meant is that they aren’t a family that leave their kids to their own devices.
BTBH, it alway seems to be the sensible families that something happens to the kids.
Look at those Drs ( Macanns) who left their kids sleeping on holiday, right next to a gate leading to a street.
Yet no charges were brought of neglect.

Yes and Kate McCann admitted that Madeline asked her the previous day “why didn’t you come when I cried last night”

The couple paid the ultimate price for their neglect, to leave 3 such young children alone was gross neglect.

I hope it has made others think twice before leaving children alone.

No child aged 5 years should be out alone ! Being placed on a register does seem extreme!!! However a child of 5 should not be wandering about on his / her own. I agree GrandmaKT that many 5 year olds are able to be out alone - if they remain alone !!! Sadly all too often they are not left alone 😢
Parents are there to protect their children- not place them in danger.

GrandmaKT

I've just been reading a story in today's Sunday Times.
The little boy asked if he could go and collect goose feathers from a park, a route he knows well and had been to that morning. She agreed and off he went.
Now, I was in two minds about this, thinking it would depend on the neighbourhood, the maturity of the child etc. I was astounded to read on that they live in a secure, gated community in Williamsburg Virginia, with 9 locked gates and roving security patrols!
A neighbour reported him being out alone, a security guard brought him back and, long story short, she and her husband (who fully supports her), have been put on the register for 7 years.
AIBU to think that this is getting absolutely ridiculous? I walked to school on my own at five, my own children played out in the street with friends. Children need to be allowed to learn to be independent and not be shut up indoors.

It's an exaggeration to say Americans don't walk but as a generalisation, I believe it's true. The are a different country with a very different culture - worth thinking about before we try and become a mini-me of that country.

Casdon

It is too dangerous when they are five and are explicitly going to collect feathers by a pond though, which was the case here.

Yes, a small child left to wander by a pond is a potentially dangerous situation. I know that from my own frightening experience but that was very many years ago.

Statistically a child is safer on the street than in their own home. Most of the harm children come to comes to them in their own homes. There always seem to be cases in the news of children murdered, and abused by their parents in the vilest ways. Far fewer of children attacked like that by people they do not know

At what age a child is let out depends on the parents judgement on the personality of the child concerned. One of my children demonstrated a very level head and an ability to deal with minor emergencies at a very young age. The other was of the 'give her a yard, and she will take a mile' variety, so I was a lot slower letting her out of my sight. But I would not preclude letting a 5 year old walk somewhere close at hand - a friends house in the same road -

Very few people,let alone five year old children, seem to walk about in America apart from on city streets, although I realise this may be a generalisation. I wouldn't have let my five year olds out walk to a park unattended, but I think 7 years on the At Risk Register is excessive.

Seems excessive to me too eazybee but allowing a 5 year old out on their own is wrong and knowing they'll be near water is reckless.

I agree. ... well thar may well be true , or maybe we just hear about it so much more now, but either way why would you want to send a 5 year old out on their own, what is gained? there are other safer ways to learn independence ...

My preference is to attend their explorations, because children are delightful. Ponds can be extremely dangerous. I'd have gone with.