Mother put on child abuse register for letting her 5 year old go for a walk!

Witzend

How old was the boy? Fairly pertinent, IMO.

Not for "letting him go for a walk".

For letting him go near water unsupervised.

Geese can be quite powerfully defensive and easily scare a small child... very risky beside water .

www.healthychildren.org/English/safety-prevention/at-play/Pages/Water-Safety-And-Young-Children.aspx

5 is too young to judge risk - however minimal. I think abuse is a bit strong, but poor judgement and ignorance of childhood development would be the case imo.

The bit I really have to question is allowing the child to go to a pond alone, even if they can swim! 🤔

I wouldn't have let my child out of my sight at that age, because it's a gated community doesn't mean it's safe for a young child on his own, but I think it's a bit over the top that they were put on a child abuse register

To be put in a registry - I believe there is more to the story the public is not aware of

My only concern is that where he was collecting the feathers was right next to a large pond. Doesn’t say how deep, he’s only 5. Young boys and water often don’t have the best outlook.

However, he didn’t come to any harm, he did the right thing refusing to get in guards vehicle, so clearly a bright boy and being told the right thing by parents, and mother is now barred from volunteering with her sons school!

I have never lived in a gated community. But I gather the pond was inside the “gated” area. At the same time I would have needed to watch my 5 year old all the time while she collected the feathers from near the pond. I would, in fact , have gone with her. Why not?

But I feel the US reaction to this to be excessively punitive

It is advised in the UK not to leave a child under 6 alone in a bath.

To send a child out to a pond to look fr feathers is madness.

5 is too young, gated community or not. Accidents happen. Children get hit by cars. Not to mention, it takes seconds to abduct such a small child.

A package delivery driver was recently convicted in Texas of murdering and sexually abusing a little girl in his work truck who was playing outside her own home in a suburban, low crime community. They played a video of it in court. She suffered his brutality for a full hour before he ended her life. Things happen in “safe” communities all the time.

No one wins a parenting prize for taking unnecessary risks with children. It doesn’t make anyone a better parent than a so-called “helicopter” parent. Hopefully the parents in question will find less daft ways to encourage their child’s autonomy and independence.

TerriBull

There would have been a lot of difference for many of us between how we parented our children and the childhood we knew. Casting my mind back, my brother and I spent a lot of time playing around a stream and a pond beyond our back garden. He a couple of years older, I'm pretty sure I'd have been younger than 5 when I crawled under a gap in our back fence to play around that area. We were certainly in the stream that fed into the pond in our wellies quite often. Would I have let my children do the same at those ages. Almost certainly not.

Despite being “told not to” my cousin, our opposite neighbour and I spent lots of time playing in and around a brook.. It ran right behind our opposite neighbours back garden, along a field and past the children’s play area!

Yes, and we look back on these experiences as formative. It's a shame we can't allow the current generation of children to develop independence in the way we did.

It’s even more of a shame that adults of this world make it so dangerous for children to explore it. Parents protecting children isn’t the problem in today’s world. The dangers are the problem and they are undeniably more prevalent.

Question to the posters who says a 5 year old is ok to do this -

what if your son/dil or daughter/sil allowed your gc to do this?

What are your thoughts?

posters who say.. sorry I did not proofread

Hithere

Question to the posters who says a 5 year old is ok to do this -

what if your son/dil or daughter/sil allowed your gc to do this?

What are your thoughts?

I actually have 2 GS in New Zealand, where they bring up their kids free range. Last visit the 6 year old was at the top of a 30ft tree while the 4 year old was chopping up logs with a saw. I'll admit my heart was in my mouth, but I trusted them and their parents.

This child is already a competitive swimmer.
According to the father it's a route he's taken many many times before.
The pavement (sidewalk) is separated from any road by a grassy space of 10 feet.
Any cars are on a speed restricted road.

The Virginia independence law says that neglect is only a crime when you put your child in serious and obvious danger. She was found guilty of a "Level 2 finding" for lack of supervision and that's what put her on the child abuse and neglect registry. (The family immediately appealed.)

There were criminal charges: Parkinson believes the "delinquency of a minor" charge was an attempt to bypass Virginia's reasonable childhood independence law.
The CPS worker testified that Sam seemed happy and healthy when she saw him that day. Parkinson's friend testified to Sam's maturity, and that he could be trusted to walk to the pond without going rogue.

reason.com/2026/09/02/virginia-mom-gets-6-month-suspended-jail-sentence-for-letting-5-year-old-walk-to-the-pond/?hl=en-GB

I think the big issue was actually the parental response to the security guy and the police.

Lucky they aren't black I feel.

Protection Under Virginia's "Reasonable Childhood Independence" Law

Her legal counsel argues that her permission falls under Virginia’s recent "free-range parenting" legislation, which protects parents from neglect charges when letting capable children engage in independent activities. The defense asserts that prosecutors intentionally bypassed this statute by charging her under the broader "contributing to the delinquency of a minor" statute instead.

The mother’s choice was rooted in a deliberate, common parenting philosophy aimed at encouraging age-appropriate self-reliance, not indifference or abandonment.

Yes I know Louisa. I did say 5 is a little young to be walking about by yourself.
I don’t know about being put on a register though.
It wouldn’t happen in this country.

Hithere

To be put in a registry - I believe there is more to the story the public is not aware of

I think there must be.

Grammaretto

I know my own DC are far more risk averse than I was with them. Isn't it sad.

When DS1 was 6 I used to send him on errands to the local shop. He had to cross a few minor roads and add up the change.

One Sunday he arrived home in a terrible state. A "gang" of children had grabbed his loaf and sweets and stolen his change.

I was furious and picked up the baby and put all the kids in the car (no seatbelts) and drove around the neighbourhood until DS spotted the *Gang".
I parked the car and jumped out. The gang of about 5 kids the oldest possibly 9, spotted me and ran away crossing a busy road but I managed to grab hold of the littlest gang member - a child of about 4 and held her hostage while the older children threw stones at me from across a street. She screamed until a man appeared from his garden to see what was going on. I explained and he went into his house to phone the police! They arrived (even more amazing) and seemed sympathetic but told me all they could do was to take the child home to its parents in the police car.

I never thought for a minute that I had done anything wrong 😅 yet nowadays I'd be up in court for assault and child abuse etc.

Like others here I had gone to school with siblings and other DC on foot from age 5. I don't remember ever seeing adults.

I was sent to the iron mongers for paraffin. I know we moved when I was nine, so maybe eight, same age as my GC, who has never been on the front drive on his own.

Sago

Yes and Kate McCann admitted that Madeline asked her the previous day “why didn’t you come when I cried last night”

The couple paid the ultimate price for their neglect, to leave 3 such young children alone was gross neglect.

I hope it has made others think twice before leaving children alone.

I have had holidays with friends who have children (I haven’t any).
The children came out to dinner with the adults. They didn’t cramp our style, actually it was lovely to hear them chatting as a family.
Later, friends would cover up their children in their prams with a blanket when it was getting late, later carried up to bed at 10.30. No problem!

"This child is already a competitive swimmer."

There is a difference between swimming in the appropriate gear in a swimming pool, even at age 5, and falling into a pond fully dressed with shoes. The pond might be full of weeds which could entangle a person and I have known that to happen to an adult, a competent swimmer, who drowned.

There is a difference between giving a child a sense of freedom whilst watching from a safe distance and letting them wander away from home on their own. They do need to learn confidence and independence but over time. Five is too young.

Hithere

Question to the posters who says a 5 year old is ok to do this -

what if your son/dil or daughter/sil allowed your gc to do this?

What are your thoughts?

I don’t worry as I know it has never happened or ever will.

NotSpaghetti

This child is already a competitive swimmer.
According to the father it's a route he's taken many many times before.
The pavement (sidewalk) is separated from any road by a grassy space of 10 feet.
Any cars are on a speed restricted road.

The Virginia independence law says that neglect is only a crime when you put your child in serious and obvious danger. She was found guilty of a "Level 2 finding" for lack of supervision and that's what put her on the child abuse and neglect registry. (The family immediately appealed.)

There were criminal charges: Parkinson believes the "delinquency of a minor" charge was an attempt to bypass Virginia's reasonable childhood independence law.
The CPS worker testified that Sam seemed happy and healthy when she saw him that day. Parkinson's friend testified to Sam's maturity, and that he could be trusted to walk to the pond without going rogue.

reason.com/2026/09/02/virginia-mom-gets-6-month-suspended-jail-sentence-for-letting-5-year-old-walk-to-the-pond/?hl=en-GB

I think the big issue was actually the parental response to the security guy and the police.

There is always that person who doesn’t stick to the speed limit just as that child is crossing the road