How many Grandads do we have?

Nellie I'm back...and so looking forward to catching up with all your antics. Loads of washing to do. Wimbles to watch. And then I'm back to tell you all about my trip. I've missed you.

pete hope Lil brings you a tasty titbit for your supper I did pass the message on you that were not feeling yourself,as a person who is often under her doctor she feels your pain she may be of some help to you as she has been asking me about the relief of pressure sores,I have given her a large bottle of surgical spirit to rub the affected parts...however it is highly flammable so you will have to refrain from emitting any little trouser coughs in case you should self combust.....matron

* jeni* I think that would be a good idea,but I wouldn't be able to contribute as I am not an ex convent girl...but would love to hear the tales of what went on I have heard that the young ladies who attend these schools can be quite racy....although I don't qualify academically my dear old mum was a highly esteemed cleaner at the local Ursuline convent does that count she had some good stories that she overheard...

nellie do you think we ought to have a thread
Ex convent girls unite!
You have nothing to lose but your rosaries?

Sounds like good advice matron and I hope you don't mind but after a 2nd opinion....Lil said she was somewhat of an expert in this particular problem and would pop round after closing time...Hope she brings the snacks...

It's that Nellie and Pete you know!

Oh my goodness - haven't looked on here for a while! Mmmmm.

[ grin ]

Now pete as you know each to their own trade lil is a bar person and I am a member of the medical profession.
All of those things you WANT do not count as NEED....suggest you take yourself in hand and deal with anything arising from this particular problemxxx matron

matron I came over all dizzy and unwell on monday and had to take to me bed...... (think it maybe 'football finished' related)...anyway if you could see your way clear to make a home visit....I only need snacks, beer and help to freshen up...would have asked Lil but you know....

matronIs on duty all hours Gramps but she does have ward rounds to do so if you leave your question she will get back to you as soon as she has finished ministering to the poorly

Thanks for the info Ella. It's not in our Radio Times, but I have it on DVD anyway!

Thanks Nellie for your advice re. Matron.

I had to stop feeling myself - it upset the dog, and we don't have one!

What time are Matrons opening hours?

Hey gramps I see that your favourite film The Italian Job with Michael Caine is on this afternoon,I hope you're watching it with Mrs gramps.
It should keep you out of nellie's hair for a while.

Oh dear poorgramps perhaps you had better see if matron can help you,why dont you pop a long to her clinic ......you obviously haven't been feeling yourself....

While looking for Pete,I fell into the ditch around the shed. (Whose idea was that -a "moat" indeed, with just a narrow plank to cross!)

Lil helped me get out, then took me back to dry me out. The horlics was lovely, then I nodded off. Next I know, I'm outside , freezing cold. 'Don't remember more.
'Think I'll go home now!

Bye bye dear Nell! xx

oh deargramps has that hussey been about your person and taking liberties againxxxx

Nellie, where are you?
Don't let Lil get me again! (so soon)

OH Matron. Where am I and which year is iT?
Whathappened?

matron has been worrying about the increase of local elderly residents of care home admitted to hospital with a wide range of ailments arising from inserting objects,applying creams,taking and sniffing drugs to aid enhancement,a theft of amyl nitrate and glycerine suppositories and a wide range of sex toys which I have confiscated and a wide range of fruit and vegetables which are no longer edible and some really strange injuries inflicted with residents locked into painful positions .....have had to confiscate copies of 50shades of grey hair from the rooms of all affected.......virtual drink and sex......pour me a stiff one..now THAT is multi tasking..........matron

UGH ERR gulp- Shiver BBRRRR
Itt's bbllooodeee colldd out 'ere. Where the heck am I?

Last thing I 'member, Lil, Ana ,M.Ecru Wife too( or three) plying me wiv water diluted wiv sumfink 'orrible of Lil's brewing!

Oooerr- I feel sick, ooops. Sorry Ladies!
I want --ZZzzzzz EEeeeZZZzzzz!

Not seen gramps for ages, seems that one innocent remark sparked fury into some people.....anyway we are checking out the 'option to buy' on the rented shed Nellie or is that Matron....Jeni thinks we will try to Woo you with virtual drink and sex....the very idea!! That anybody could think such a thing is beyond belief....

Yes it probably was lil she has rocked many a shed in her time