How many Grandads do we have?

Hi Nell, thanks for the wlecome .. if Lil ca pull a good one, er, pint that is .. I'll feel at home .. as for sanity .. I rejected that as unsuitable software for my poor, tired, damaged mind.

Hello Snapshot and welcome to the virtual world of The shed and Lilo Lils pub and all the regulars...draw up a stool and we will introduce you to all of Lils delights at her hostelry....you may not have chosen the most sanest of threads to post on but I he you enjoy your visits around Gransnet

I'm a grandad .. my eldest daughter had Jacob almost 2yrs ago .. .. I joined Gransnet today and this is my first message on the site .. although my initial involvement was to enter the various competitions.

Variety is the spice of life...and logistics plays a part,the space behind Lils bar is very limited and to have two ladies with ample proportions in the same place may cause a problem this way they can move freely behind the bar fitting comfortably in one space at the same time....however Flo's bounty does tend to sweep the bottles at that height from the shelf,so Lil has introduced multi tasking and attaches a duster to Flo's derrière so she can dust the shelf at the same time unfortunately in passing Lils attributes have been known to sweep any nuts off the bar so she attaches a cloth to her front to wipe the bar as well they make a good team......

Billowing buttocks for some.... Love handles for others!

Have seen Flo in action this name is inspired by her massive bottom,she has to wear platters on the back of her heels to ease the blisters caused by friction from the billowing buttocks..Lil would never employ some one who would deflect from her assets....

I do hope Flip Flop Flo's name refers to her footwear and not to any let it all hang out loose habit she may have?!!

Our Lil has been recruiting staff and now has a pot man by the name of Isiah,he is on a rehabilitation programme after his release from Strangeways which provides a perfect description of his activities,he is of advancing years with a predilection for coke.. He suffers from a permanent attack of Colombian flu,but we are assured by his probation officer as long as he visits the local clergy every week for support he should be ok....
Lils new barmaid is Flip Flop Flo ...she is on a granny gap year,and is working her way around as many low establishments as she can in order to write her memoirs she favours the style of Belle DeJour's Diary of a Call Girl,although any attention Flo gets is entirely unsolicited..at the moment...although she may be doing some research for her book..and I would imagine Lils experiences may provide some inspiration ....

I think I can retire from being resident provider of jokes - nellie's posts are funnier than anything I can find.
Perhaps some our men could post a few jokes on 'This made me laugh'?

Quite. I can't take all this. I'm to bed. Work tomorrow.
Sleep well all!

And thank goodness for that!

Hello Tricky, Just one thing....what goes on in Lil's back room..Stays in Lil's back room.

You could be right Ana. I never discovered -I was too shy - dammit!!
wish I knew then what I know now!

That sounds more like groping to me, gramps

Hand gliding sounds inspirational.
In my youth I think it was not known as such, and was often customary to receive a swift rebuff - unless you were lucky!

Think Hand gliding sounds much more fun...and right up our Lils street

Izal sanitised. Government property

Hi Tricky,
Origami paper very expensive. Good tissue paper ok, but challenging, especially watching out for the perforations when unrolling! "Bronco" is one that springs to mind!

You said it, jeni...she graduated with dishonours

Nellie's the expert on tricky dickies

jeni love budgie's name.
Tricky...yay! like your name. 'Though I can't help but think...'Tricky Dicky'...seems to trip off the tongue more readily.

Thanks for that jeni. You can never have too many Tricky days. Not so sure about too many tricky dickies though.

If you believe that? good start and well chosen name Tricky!
(we had a budgie with name tricky, he was green agoraphobic and named after Nixon!

Tricky

for all those that noticed the typo. It should of read (of course) han glidding which of course is a version of origami used to produce aeronautical shapes from paper.