Where can my little one find a 'surrogate' grandparent?

Lullydully that sounds much the safest way to go for both sides.

I searched for it online so is this it Lully? www.home-start.org.uk/

Here I go again. You could try to volunteer with Homestart working with a family with children under 5. I have done it for 2 years and have close links with a couple of lovely families .

Message deleted by Gransnet for breaking our forum guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

I do hope you open this thread up again. My husband and I would love to "adopt" grandchildren in our area of West Yorkshire. We have all the skills for certain.

Hi, I'm hoping to open this thread up again....I wondered if anyone had any luck finding some grandparents for their family :-) It is definitely something that I'd love to do as I feel that my kids miss out by not having actively involved grandparents...I also miss out on a parental relationship and the support that may give.

I would just like to stress that I am not looking for a babysitter or for anything other than an older person to spend time with us a family so that we could have a mutually rewarding relationship, so please don't feel the need to warn me about leaving my kids with a stranger etc because that wouldn't be happening anyway.

Many thanks

ditzyangeluk If you can't see why it was a bad idea to advertise your children on Facebook, your name of ditsy doesn't do you justice.

Connecting children without grandparents with people with no grandchildren is a beautiful idea, and it deserved to work BUT it would have to have safeguards for everyone. You can't just have one list of potential loving grans/grandads and another of cute kids. In between you have to have filters to catch those who would exploit any of the participants.

As the article says - this is a beautiful idea:

metro.co.uk/2015/06/23/this-nursery-in-an-old-peoples-home-is-everything-thats-right-with-the-world-5261086/

I feel the checks would have to work both ways, so the young couple with the cute child are not out for fleecing off a granny with some money because she is alone and vulnerable.
It is another sad side to modern living that people often live miles/countries/continents away from family and have no friends to speak off but modern reservations/rules will not allow them to be brought together.
Back when my kids were growing up everybody knew everybody and there was always a baby sitter available if one was needed. My children use to visit some of the elderly residents and buy them a pint of milk or a loaf of bread and go into their house and keep them company, nowadays you would be considered reckless or thought badly of for doing this.

Hi camilla1987, I'm in Norfolk and would like to be a surrogate granny.

why is it creepy, its a great idea connecting generations for mutual benefit, skills could be passed down etc. Not everyone is out to abuse a child fgs stop being so negative.

A successful scheme runs in Australia.

This discussion is so wrong. Just too creepy.

This is a great idea.

Hello
Both my sons live abroad and they haven't got any children I would love to be able to be a grandma to children in this country. My husband and I are in our fifties and would like be adopted grandparents.
I have always worked with children and miss their happy faces each day so I feel we could offer quality time with children who perhaps haven't got any grandparents.
My sons were very lucky and had a very close relationship with their grandparents so I know how important it is.
We live in Warwickshire.
If anyone feels their children are missing out on family life without grandparents we may be able to help fill that gap.

I think there is a thread about "adopting a granny" you could try a search. Personally I would never "advertised" it seems to attract the "nutters". Try AGE UK too.

I placed some ads on Facebook to do just this ... Be a granny or anutie to a family .. but I've received all kinds of negative comments and abuse.

The ad was along these lines;
SUDBURY ONLY (as no personal transport)

FREE Out-grown Auntie seeks new role .. Auntie or Granny on offer (NOTE: I have already been rejected by the youngest of 10 years!) !!
I hated when I was a kid that I had no grandparents, but I loved the role of being an Auntie to my wonderful nieces and nephews.
Does anyone lack either (granny or auntie) in the lives of their children or could do with an additional ‘hands-on’ one?
Drop me a message if you have a space for a now Defunct Auntie!

I wouldn't have sole care for a child, I am crb checked from nursery work last year and I would just like to be an auntie or gran again.

All the best in your quest - there ARE good people out there that would like to be a part of it.

The little lass next door solved it for herself - she made friends with me, and now we do lots of things together. I, and another neighbour and friend, expand her horizons a lot. She just uses our given names, but we fill in for her grandparents I'm sure. One set are only a 4 hour drive away, at a coastal resort, but she only sees them every couple of months.

A grandparent of my acquaintance, Roly Sussex (a broadcaster, linguist and my former lecturer) always buys his far away little grandchildren two copies of every children's' book he chooses. He keeps one himself and reads to them on skype, while they hold their own copy.

It would have been nice if skype and PCs were around when my kids were little.

Hello pippyLongstocking,

i sent you a message, but not sure it sent correctly

Thanks

Hello everyone!.
I have just joined gransnet, I'm a lonely Gran I have 5 wonderful G/children most now live in Perth Australia, I miss them so much.
I have one G/daughter here in the UK she is now 18, she does come over a couple of times a month, which I love, but I could be a mums helper- or sitter, or just a friendly gran.

I live in Lytham St Annes...

Hi there, I have just turned 50 and sadly have no children. I would love children in my life but as much as that I know that my parents would love children in their lives. They both have hearts of gold, have been and continue to be the best parents I could ever have hoped for and I am sure would be fantastic surrogate grandparents. They have a lot of love to give. I live in Lancaster and they live in Keswick. Please get in touch if interested.

Absolutely safeguarding has to be a primary concern but I have been DBS checked on a regular basis for various jobs (doing an MA in social work) and would be happy to meet up in public and for the relationship to develop slowly.

Thanks

I watched a documentary on this subject and I felt nauseated, I would hope that no parent would invite this kind of attention by allowing strangers into their lives.

But always remember you can do all the checks you like, but because the person you might be wondering about has never been convicted or presented the police with concerns it does not mean they are safe.
90% of abuse is perpetrated by people known to the family.
This has a lot of information

www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/child-abuse-and-neglect/grooming/what-is-grooming/

Yes, it is not just those who regularly read Gransnet. It is also those who daily search the net for mentions of possible leads.

Such good sense Elegran even the thread title alone could be attracting anyone googling for child abuse purposes. We do not always realise how devious some people can be but the occasional infiltration by trolls or shall we say "posters who are not what they seem" should be a reminder.

There is another side to DIY advertising for intimate relationships too. Older people with no youngsters to love can find thenselves manipulated by mothers (deliberately or unconsciously) into spending far more money than they can afford on the children, or even funding their education or paying for their keep.

There are professional agencies that introduce families to each other after running the appropriate checks, and keep in touch after the introduction to iron out any problems and step in if needed. Informal introductions don't have these safeguards, for either side.

You speak too about online dating - that has the same possibilities for disaster. A child cannot vet the new partner his/her parent has taken up with. An official and well-run dating site will do the vetting in advance, and advise on how both dating parent and vulnerable children can be kept safe. We have seen so many reports of stepfathers abusing children that the utmost care is needed.