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continual crying

(17 Posts)
SalJB Fri 08-Jun-12 12:03:29

My grandaughter is 7 months and she cries nearly all the time when my daughter leaves her with me for an hour or 2. I can't distract her when she's sobbing so much. When mum comes back and picks her up she stops and smiles at me! What can I do?

nanaej Fri 08-Jun-12 12:12:11

Sorry to hear is frustrating when you can't console a tearful baby.

Not that current weather is going to help this suggestion but I found taking my unhappy GCs out in the buggy often (but not always) calmed them down. Might be worth a try!
Good luck flowers

soop Fri 08-Jun-12 12:15:05

SalJB how distressing for you. Are you able to take her out in her pram? A trip to the park used to please our wee man when he was that age. He was very happy looking up at trees. We found that if we stopped, he became it was a case of just keep moving...

Ella46 Fri 08-Jun-12 12:18:03

My first gd was just the same and grew up to be extremely clingy with her mum and dad, but her younger sister wasn't bothered at all! I think some babies are more upset at being left and only mummy will do! My sympathies as it is upsetting. sunshine

glassortwo Fri 08-Jun-12 12:29:52

Sal I have the same problem with my youngest GS who is now 18months and is just now getting over the crying, his Mum was unable to move for him, if she left the room he would become hysterical and would not be pacified by anyone. I think some babies are just natural criers.

An added problem is he does not like me grin cant find any explanation for it but will not entertain me picking him up or playing with him... if I am playing or reading with his older brother 3yrs he will hover on the outskirts, I have to ignore him and he will eventually sit himself down and join in but I cant try to include him as he runs away. The family think I nipped him when he was a baby grin. I find it hard as I have never had that response from a little one and I would love a cuddle off him ..oh well maybe when is older sad

gracesmum Fri 08-Jun-12 12:54:59

It is an age when they are beginning to distinguish between who they "know" and also to be much more observant of when people go out of the room or go away. (Separation anxiety) Terriby upsetting for a loving grandparent, but babies alas don't "know"who we are and that we love them to bits. I cannot believe for a minute glass that he does not like you and it must be very hard for you, but he really doesn't mean it!
I have been recommended a book called The Science of Parenting (I think) to explain what we have all observed about how their little brains develop. As ella says it is upsetting but I like the advice about the buggy (they can't see who is pushing!!)
sal could your DD not leave her with you when she is asleep or the 2 of you take her out together and then you take over? Some sort of distraction activity might also help. Do you spend much time with her together? My youngest |DD was very shy of anybody but mum as a baby, but I think that was me fault as I was available for her all the time as the older 2 were at school. Soon found her confidence though!

AlisonMA Fri 08-Jun-12 13:01:38

What about music? Try putting her over your shoulder and bouncing around to some music. Try different genres and see what she likes. I think most little ones love music.

Are you sure she is not being left with you when she is tired or hungry? I know these seem a bit obvious but worth looking into.

Ella46 Fri 08-Jun-12 13:44:53

My 7 month gd loves being bounced up and down on my knee to silly songs, it always makes her laugh. Believe me no child could possibly scream her displeasure louder than her shock so that's worth a try.

JessM Fri 08-Jun-12 13:51:42

Gracesmum spot on with the developmental thing - younger babies do not seem to really know who they know and who they don't in some senses. Then they do - and some are more wary of non-parents than others. At the same time separation anxiety when mum disappears kicks in and unless the substitute is one of her immediate "in crowd" then she will yell as loud as she can to try to summon her mother back to her side.
I agree that if you could spend a bit of time hanging out with the family group she might get the hang that you are one of her "in crowd" saljb.
While you are there, a trick with babes this age is to play "hard to get". If you can hang out at her house or a few hours, don't directly woo her. Play with something on your own maybe, something that will really interest her (a nice saucepan full of pegs or a bucket full of bubbles maybe - get in touch with your inner child and ignore, ignore, ignore), don't make eye contact or try to get her to join in. Just let her join in with your games at her own pace.
ALso play shy. Hide your face in your hands, peep out shyly and then retreat. That can sucker em in.
Another thought - while in her house, and while you are being happy together, practice mum going upstairs, mum going down the garden etc and see if you can build up tolerance of you being there and mum not.
Hope some of these ideas help.

Libradi Fri 08-Jun-12 22:17:18

Definitely the age when they are more aware of being left. My grandaughter is 6 months old and although she's fine being left with me (she's used to being here a lot with her mummy) she has started crying when I walk out of the room.
She loves tv and I find that a godsend if she is upset for any reason. We've got her tonight and before she went to bed she was bouncing around to Michael flatley's lord of the dance, she was mesmerised by it. Makes a change from Cbeebies smile

SalJB Tue 12-Jun-12 16:11:20

Thanks everyone I'll try some of those ideas so that hopefully by the time I have her one day a week on a permanent basis in September she will be much happier with me.

sallyanne Wed 01-May-13 10:14:25

I feel so bad when my Grandson cries because his mother's gone to the gym and left him with me. His Mother only leaves him with me once a week. I do walk him which seems to help but as soon as he wakes he throws a tantrum and nothing will console him. How long will this behaviour continue.

gracesmum Wed 01-May-13 10:16:20

How old is he Sally?

inthefields Wed 01-May-13 11:14:22

Oh how I remember Mummy'itis.
I couldn't leave one of mine for 5 minutes without screams.

Just love as best you can, keep smiling and playing, work in a little bribery (it was years before I found out that my m-i-l let my eldest lick chocolate to cheer her up!!) and before you know it ....mummy'itis has pased and you will be No1 favourite on her list of people to like :-)

B .....not actually recommending the chocolate thing! or the ice-cream thing!!

Stansgran Wed 01-May-13 18:06:30

I have had two of my GCs for long periods since birth but once I wentTo help when my DD was jet lagged and theDGCs knew she was behind a door asleep they just sat with their backs to her doorGLARING at me. I couldn't believe a three and a one year old could keep that up for so long but they did. Only mum would do. Even now I am the flavour of the month till their mother collects them-theysee so little of her.

harrigran Wed 01-May-13 23:22:34

I do feel for anyone who has this problem. My GC have never been a problem, happily stayed with me from birth. Come to think of it, why do they not cry for their parents ? Ice cream and chocolate do not come into the equation.

Nelliemoser Thu 02-May-13 00:57:15

I see my DGS about every two weeks. He had always been very smiley but at about 6months DD handed him to me very shortly after we arrived and went for a shower.
He sat happily on my knee for a couple of minutes, then went all tearful and we had to go and find his mummy. He was OK with me as soon as he could see her.
Last time I went we made sure Mummy was with us for a while. He was doing a classic act of looking at Mummy for reassurance that we were OK people before he relaxed and smiled. It is appropriate behaviour and I understand that, but I did feel a bit upset.