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Grandads are special

(23 Posts)
CHEELU Thu 06-Dec-12 11:12:03

I remember my Grandads very well Unfortunately I did not get too much time with them but the time that I did get with them was very especialy because no matter what kind of a person your Grandad is he is still your grandad and will usually treat you, his grand child a bit special, well that was my experience anyway. SO Grandads out there please know that you are very special people and everyone or most everyone loves their grandad

absentgrana Thu 06-Dec-12 11:20:33

One of mine died before I was born and I saw the other fairly rarely. I don't remember his taking much interest in any of the grandchildren and I don't think I shed a tear when he died. I didn't dislike him but I didn't love him and he wasn't in any way special to me.

My father died a long while before absentdaughter was born but she was hugely fond her paternal grandfather and is keen that her children have a close and loving relationship with her father in the same way. So those two grandfathers were/are loved and special.

On of her children is from her first marriage and I don't think he has ever had any contact with his paternal grandfather so I would guess that that grandfather isn't loved or special. However, her present father-in-law is a much-loved figure among all the children, including his step-grandson.

Just goes to show that you can never make assumptions about family relationships, especially these days.

gracesmum Thu 06-Dec-12 11:22:33

Don't they just! Our little granson was incandescent at leaving the last time he was here. DH was very flattered to hear wails of "I want more Grandpa" and so he should. Who was up in the night with 2 year old? (3 times actually until I gave in around 5 and pleaded, if Granny stays with you will you go back to sleep?") Who was then up again at 6.30 to do younger bro's bottle, and sit with the 2 year old in front of CBeebies? Who cooked, cleaned up, bathed bedded? Oh, Grandpa did the story, so that's OK then.
Only joking, DH adores the little boys and is very chuffed when they adore

Movedalot Thu 06-Dec-12 11:28:46

I loved my Grandad and think I learned a lot of my values from him. Our sons adored their one Grandad and often talk fondly of him and visit his grave when they get the chance. DH absolutley loves being Grandad and has a very special relationship with our GS. When it works it is brilliant.

harrigran Thu 06-Dec-12 11:29:01

GD2 pushes me aside, to reach Granda, when we arrive on the doorstep. It takes about twenty minutes for her to get to me and give me a hug. I think the GC see us as the food providers and bottom wipers and Grandads do the fun things smile

Greatnan Thu 06-Dec-12 11:44:12

All my grandparents were dead before I was born - I did envy children who had nans, but I don't think I ever thought about a grandfather. Perhaps that was because my own father showed no interest in his children. I was the only grandparent to my first eight grandchildren, because of the breakdown of relationships and fathers who shirked their responsibilities. When my daughter did marry, her in-laws became the most wonderful step grandparents you could imagine. Some grandmothers seem to be a bit resentful of the 'other grandparents', but I was overjoyed that my family had another two people to love them.
It still amuses me to hear my little great-grand-daughters call my lovely son-in-law 'Grandad' - he was 35 when the first one was born.
Yes, let's hear for the good grandfathers and try to ignore the ones that don't live up to the image.

jeni Thu 06-Dec-12 12:09:39

Ah! Festive emoticonsgrin and about time tooangry

jeni Thu 06-Dec-12 12:10:26

Oh dear I forgot the f--- lettersmile

Notsogrand Thu 06-Dec-12 13:06:23

jeni grin

FlicketyB Thu 06-Dec-12 14:26:20

DH's experience of grandfather's was limited. He only had one and he had remarried after his first wife died and had a second family the same age as DH so he took very little interest in any of his grandchildren. DH's father was diagnosed with Parkinsons Disease when our children were quite young so he was inevitable not an active or participatory grandfather.

Our GC also only have one grandfather and at 18 months DGS suddenly decided that grandpas are the best thing ever, he dotes on his Grandpa and makes a beeline for him whenever we see him and his elder sister. He was thrilled when someone gave him a body warmer like Grandpas and Grandpa is the first to see all the best slugs he finds in the garden.

The effect on DH has been remarkable. He is suddenly realising how important he is as the only grandfather, particularly to a little boy who holds him in such visible high esteem. DH has started to look after his health and lose some weight and his whole attitude to life has changed.

dorsetpennt Fri 07-Dec-12 09:25:44

I didn't meet my darling, darling grandfather until I was 9 years old. Though born in this country, and I'd obviously met him then, at two and half my parents started on our treks around the world. So I didn't 'know' him until we returned from Canada in 1953. I remember getting off the boat train from Liverpool and standing amongst our piles of luggage when two people hurled themselves at my mother.They hadn't seen her for 7 years. It was my grandparents, her parents, I remember Poppy [as we called him] standing tall, elegant, friendly, looking at me with his bright blue Irish eyes and said 'dearest do you remember me? I didn't but fell in love with him then and it went on until he died in 1986.
He was everything my father wasn't - loving, fun, interesting, helpful etc etc. My fathers father died before the war and his mother lived in Australia [too long a story there] I didn't meet her until my father's funeral in 1965.
Now my two GD's have 2 grandads - my ex who lives in Florida and my DIL's who lives close by to me, with his wife. They adore their mother's father, he is a quiet man but very gentle and affectionate - to see his expression when he sees his two little GDs is wonderful.

eliza Mon 20-Jan-14 15:57:04

I totally agree, Grandads are usually very special people. I remember mine with happiness.

lefthanded Mon 20-Jan-14 20:48:45

My paternal grandfather was killed in a railway accident in 1916 when my father was just one year old, and my maternal grandfather died a few months before I was born - so as far as grandfathers are concerned, I didn't have any role model.

Now (as the advert says) I'm the grandfather! And my grandson is, quite simply, the centre of my universe. My world revolves around Oliver. Our daughter-in-law's parents are divorced and both have re-married, so Oliver has 2 Grandads on his maternal side, but they both live about ninety minute's drive away whereas I live less than a mile from him smile

TriciaF Mon 20-Jan-14 21:04:24

We lived with my maternal grandparents for 4 years or so during the war.
Grandpa was a real character, a comic and a singer. He was also a keen gardener, I think I got my interest in plants from him.
My other grandparents lived just around the corner and I saw them most days. Granda was a character too and taught me many songs, more introverted than Grandpa though.
I realise now how lucky I was having them nearby.

Flowerofthewest Mon 20-Jan-14 23:00:03

I never really knew my grandfathers, my paternal grandfather wore a patch over his eye (socket) he lost it when driving a horse and cart and ran into a bramble bush. He lived with my lovely aunt and family and I did see him over the years from aged 1-7 then he died. I can still remember him sitting in the corner smoking a pipe.

My maternal grandfather I met only once. He was a child abuser and my mother, a victim from the age of 3 - 16, would not let him stay with us and only took me to visit once when we were children.

My father was a wonderful, funny and playful grandfather to my children and my sister's children, he sadly died at the age of 58 and they miss him still although it was 31 years ago now.

My DH is the most popular of the two of us with our grandchildren. They adore him (and yes I am the bottom wiper, food provider and nappy changer too) I love the way they love him.

grannyactivist Mon 20-Jan-14 23:00:05

My grandad was lovely. He showed me the crease at the back of his neck where the Germans had almost cut his head off. (I believed that story for far longer than I should have done confused) He could make coins appear out my ears and let me keep them shock. He used to make a 'poke' out of newspaper and fill it with toffees and buy me ice creams from the van outside his house. smile

It was many, many years later that I realised he'd been a gambler all his life and that my nana's exasperation with him had good cause. sad

merlotgran Mon 20-Jan-14 23:11:27

My maternal grandpa was in the Merchant Navy and lost a finger due to an accident in the engine room. He used to tell me tales of how he fought a shark single handed and it bit off his finger! There was a whale's tooth displayed in a cabinet in the front room and the story was that he found a whale suffering from toothache and pulled out the offending tooth by tying a rope around it and driving off in the ship's launch at full speed! grin

My paternal grandfather deserted my grandmother when my father was only five. He too was in the Merchant Navy and we found out a few years ago that he re-located from Southampton to Liverpool, married bigamously and had another son. B****rd!!!!!

harrigran Mon 20-Jan-14 23:27:43

My paternal Grandfather died when I was two and he was 82, I only saw him once but I still remember the visit. My maternal grandfather died when I was ten, just a few days after my sister was born, I remember my mother being very upset because she was not able to go to her mother.
The strange thing is I never spoke to my Grandfathers. it was drummed into us "speak when you are spoken to" and "children should be seen and not heard" Mine didn't speak to me so neither did I sad

Gally Tue 21-Jan-14 02:49:19

I only knew one Grandad. I was the only granddaughter and the youngest of his grandchildren so I suppose he spoilt me a bit. Always slipping me a half crown with a wink and when I went to boarding school, sent me a 10/- note each term 'towards tuck'. I treasure a photo of him cradling my first daughter but sadly he died soon after. At least he had the joy of meeting 4 of his great grandchildren, unlike my parents. I often think how proud my own Dad would have been of his 8 great grandchildren. He was an amazing Grandad. sad

Iam64 Tue 21-Jan-14 09:00:12

My grandfathers were both so loving and kind, lots of teasing, but none of it making us feel uncomfortable when little. By the time I hit secondary school age, they were real sources of interesting discussions about history and politics. The older I get, the more I recognise the extent of their influence on me. Lovely men. How lucky were we to have them.

MrsSB Tue 21-Jan-14 09:48:44

All of my grandchildren totally adore their grandad. I'm sure they love me too, but if push came to shove Grandad would get the vote every time, haha!

FlicketyB Tue 21-Jan-14 14:22:13

Grandfathers have been a little thin on the ground in our family, on both sides both our and our DDiL's family for several generations. DH is the only grandfather my DGCs will ever know as DDiL's father died when she was 5. DGS adores him and as with Harrigran runs round me to reach Grandpa. He loves us both but his GFtakes preference. DGD does the opposite, she loves Grandpa, but likes being with Grandma.

mollie Tue 21-Jan-14 17:38:30

I only met my paternal grandfather once, just before he went to Australia where he promptly died! I knew my maternal grandfather but he was distant and visits were very formal, stuffy occasions. My step-grandfather was a man to steer well clear of if you were a little girl, if you get my meaning!

However, my sons were lucky with their grandfather (my dad) and my granddaughter has a brilliant step-grandad in my OH. They are devoted to each other and she (aged 3) gets him doing all manner of hilarious things. It's lovely to watch...I think we all deserve(d) a lovely grandpa!