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surrogate grandparents

(15 Posts)
Minkysmum Fri 13-Sep-13 22:40:13

I'm after some advice and feedback please. I'm a very proud mum and wife, in my mid 30s and very happy with our life. My husband is in the RAF, therefore I consider us to be quite an adaptable and capable family. Our beautiful daughter is 3 and a half, she is the light of our lives with a sparkling personality. My husband was raised by his elderly grandparents, sadly long since deceased, and he has no family. I have parents, sadly divorced when I was a teenager, and regrettably due to distance, stubbornness and politics within the family, we see them twice a year when we make the 300 mile journey.

I would love to befriend an older person who could delight in sharing our daughters achievements and giggles, and in return maybe brighten up their week. Is this something any of you think could be feasible? Surely there must be a way to enlighten children's lives who sadly have no grandparents either close by or at all? I would love to give our daughter the chance to know the wonderfully warm bond between grandparents and grandchild.

Please let me know if you think there could be a need for some kind of surrogate grandparent / grandchild finding service? I am a stay at home mum with time to commit to making this happen. Thanks, Ally and M

Anne58 Fri 13-Sep-13 22:59:47

I think this subject has been raised before, but can't for the life of me think of the thread title, and guide you to it. Hopefully someone who does know will pop up before too long!

simtib Fri 13-Sep-13 23:48:35

Foster grandchildren sounds a great idea, I could read stories play games. I am sure there are lots of pitfalls and problems, but I will let other people think of them.

Nelliemoser Sat 14-Sep-13 06:57:18

I am sorry to put a damper on anything but do be aware of possible child protection issues. The issue has been on before. You really need to be the one to make approaches. Do you have any elderly neighbours you are friendly with and know well.
What you need is a "My Naughty Little Sister" style "Mrs Cocoa Jones" living next door." (A friendly neighbour.)

Sorry if you don't know the stories. It was just what came straight to my mind.
You are probably too young to have heard "Listen with mother"

You three year old might like the stories my DD loved them.

Minkysmum Sat 14-Sep-13 09:51:11

Many thanks for your replies. I'll search for the old thread. Unfortunately as we live on a RAF base, our neighbours are all families and the majority live far from any family. The option of befriending an elderly neighbour sounds fantastic but just not as simple as that. Maybe I'll research the local community here in Anglesey to find any local grandparents groups who could help.

I'm aware in this day and age there are far too many rules and regs that could hinder this, but hopefully we can find a way to spend a few hours a week with an elderly person and become good friends...surely it is as easy as we care to make it.

Thanks again.

janeainsworth Sat 14-Sep-13 11:14:00

Just another word of warning, Minkysmum.
Most GNetters don't think of themselves as 'elderly' and certainly don't like being labelled as such wink
Good lucksmile

Movedalot Sat 14-Sep-13 11:18:29

Minky I would also caution you to be very careful and take your time over this.

Perhaps if you tell us all roughly where you live someone local will contact you? Good luck, I would love to have had someone to be a grandparent to mine when they were growing up.

Movedalot Sat 14-Sep-13 11:19:34

Just had another thought, you could contact your local U3A as the people there could possibly have some spare time and be the sort of outgoing personalities you are looking for.

Galen Sat 14-Sep-13 11:45:27

Anglesey she said!

Minkysmum Sat 14-Sep-13 12:17:04

Yes I cant.apologise enough for using the word elderly..but I meant it in the best possible way. I get called an older mum often, and it certainly grates. No judgement meant!

Charleygirl Sat 14-Sep-13 12:20:05

My body has raced ahead of my brain which is still 29 years old.

simtib Sat 14-Sep-13 12:54:35

It's OK, I am old, bald, wrinkly and senile. Elderly is one of the better things I am called.

susieb755 Sat 14-Sep-13 13:41:23

I would suggest contacting your local age concern - they may have day centres that you could visit with your daughter? I know when I took my redd into visit a friend in a care home, all the residents were delighted to see her, and she had a whale of a time socialising... it was a bit liekpets as therapy !!

susieb755 Sat 14-Sep-13 13:41:45

redd? should say DD !!

Minkysmum Sat 14-Sep-13 15:01:29

Thankyou susieb, yes I've been thinking along similar lines, and am composing an email to Gwynedd Age Concern, hoping we can visit day centres. Fantastic idea!