Advice

Good luck. Please let us know the diagnosis. You can PM me if you don't want to make it public

I think you and your son are acting very wisely breeze. It is so important in these situations to try to keep lines of communication open even when you are concerned about what the other party is doing. I'm so glad you found help on this site and wish you all well for the future. I'm sure your grandchildren know how much they are loved

I can't give you any advice but I'm so sorry for what's happening, for you, your son and the children.

I think that anno has summed it up perfectly, please keep us up to date

I think you are taking the right approach as you don't want to make her defensive. Hope all goes well.
and

breeze not mush more I could say, but really hope that things will become easier very soon

sorry "much" not "mush"

Sounds like a very sensible way forward, breeze. Good luck.

I have been reading this stream with tears in my eyes. So sad. I hope that the outcome is a good one for you and GCs. Lots of good advice from other GNs.
With all best wishes. X

Well done, breeze Hope it all goes well.

Thanks for the update Breeze. It's so good to hear you and your son are working well together on this. I'm sure you are taking the right approach in being cautious, focussed on the children, and that your aim is to help the children, and not alienate their mum and her family. Good luck with that

breeze

Well done you. Your grandchildren are lucky to have you and such a caring daddy. I hope things get better x

Sounds a really good start Breeze, well done

Annoyingly, but makes sense on reflection, you can't register with two GP's. I guess it's difficult to keep track of medical records, plus two GP's can't receive funding for the same child. Soooo, back to the drawing board and now armed with the knowledge he DOES have some rights as a father, my son is going to insist he takes her to her own GP himself for a checkup. He can have the sores checked and request a hearing test. Bit annoying it will involve confrontation but as everyone pointed out to me, we have to do what's best for the child and not be afraid of her mother.

Just a thought. Does the GC's GP have a walk in clinic or some time when no appointment is required? Maybe your son could just turn up with the children, then their mother would not have to be involved. A bit under hand, I know, but as we all agree, the children come first. Best wishes x

May have been said but could he not take the child to the local health centre to see the HV?

Is the law that he cannot take the child to the child's GP himself without permission if he also has parental control?

Sorry if these points have already been covered.

From a commonsense point of view, I'd have thought that anyone who is looking after a child could take them to their GP, even without permission, if they feel it is needed. It is the child who has the appointment, not the father - he is there to explain the reason.

I guess we are trying to deal with this with a gentle approach first. But having, so far, not persuaded the mother to do the right thing, my son said he's going to insist on taking her himself. Even if she agrees to take her, we'll never really know if she did take her and what the diagnosis was. Don't really want to escalate it to 'full on' confrontation via threats of contacting social services etc. unless things get worse of course. So much better for children if their parents aren't at war. We did consider the drop in centre but if she is prescribed medication, it could be worse than being upfront in the first place with her mother. Always antagonising to discover someone has gone behind your back I suppose. Probably better he just tells her he is taking her that's that. Without any fuss or argument. Someone in the early days of this thread said 'Tightropes and eggshells springs to mind'. Never a truer word! Very apt.

Just wanted to mention, for everyone's FYI, this morning, that you can't be registered with two different GP's. You learn all the time on this site, as I found when I discovered my son did have some rights after all.

Your son could try the "I will take them to save you the trouble" approach rather than the "I will take them since you refuse to" one. That might go down better.

That's worth a try. I'll suggest that to him. He's not said anything yet as he needs to try and organise the time off work. Good suggestion. Thankyou.

I think I m right in saying you can take the child to any GP if you register them as a temporary visitor that's of course presuming you and d-I-l don't live too close to one another I have taken my grandkids to my doc when staying at mine as temporary visitors

Yes, my DGS has been to our GP when he was visiting. You just fill in a form as a temporary visitor.

They can be registered as a temporary resident. The GP gets paid extra for it.

You need to know the address of the practice they're registered with and the name of their doctor. At least the childs own doctor will be informed of what's wrong with the child and any medication dispensed.