Hungry Britain

www.childcomwales.org.uk/blog/

there is a paragraph in here, if the link works, about children going hungry in the school holidays when they don't get school meals. Now there may be all sorts of reasons for this, poverty, fecklessness or other reasons, but it makes for sad reading. I do know of young offenders who did not want to leave the institute because they did not know what was awaiting them at home and they got three meals a day inside the prison. They may well have got out and offended again just to be sent back because home life was so awful.
A downward spiral.

durhan your husband was a very lucky man, all that caring you did for him. I am not sure they make them like you anymore

Jen.

If you do not wish to post Elegran that's fine but other GNetters would like to, me for one.

Goodnight hope you sleep well

Thanks, Carnationa. Actually, my husband died two years ago from a brain tumour, but you are new so would not know that. He was 65. From when he was 50 I was his carer, although I hated the word. He fractured his spine, then got cerebellar ataxia, then the brain tumour for the last four months.
I had other carers in for the last three weeks, Cactus, because I could not manage on my own any more. If I had had to have professional carers in for longer, it would have cost the state a lot more than we were given.
Yes, it was horrible having to change him when he was doubly incontinent, which he had been for 15 years, although for much of the time he did it himself. And I ran a guest house for ten of those, which paid enough to pay the mortgage.
I washed him and fed him, particularly during the last five years.
In the last six months I gave him injections and tested his blood four times a day. He'd been diabetic since he was eleven. In the final three weeks I gave him a third of a banana before he choked, and then had to test his blood and give him an injection to counteract the carbohydrate that he'd just had. I did it because I loved him and did not want him to be looked after by anyone else. And when he decided he had had enough, I lay beside him for three days and nights, waiting for him to say he wanted something to eat or drink. The only time I left his side was when the carers came in to change him and make him more comfortable.
Apologies to those who have heard this before on other threads, but some people need to know that everything is not what it appears. You cannot judge your neighbours by what you see, unless you know them very well.
My husband paid tax and NI from when he was 18 until he was 50. He still paid tax after that from insurance money. He had his state pension for six months.

Polarisation again - labelling other viewpoints as either "blanket compassion" or as "blanket lack of compassion".

No-one is going to have their mind changed. The harder some posters inveigh against benefit scroungers the further other heels dig in to say most are not scrounging. And vice versa.

Any more posts are a waste of time.

Goodnight.

CACTUS DURHAM Has said that her husband can not even get his own diner, it doesn't sound to me like she is doing much watching TV and what a horrible life for her that she is having to be a carer, not a nice job that anyone would choose, I think she should be admired.

Fair enough you could not do it and would rather pay someone, I would probably do a bit of both but it takes all kinds to make a world.

You can't judge people on how you feel about caring, cactus. When my DH had a stroke which left him partially sighted I was still teaching two days a week. I hated leaving him to fend for himself and was mightily relieved when I could retire and look after him properly.

The three days when I was not teaching were NOT spent watching the telly I can assure you.

I would rather be out at work and pay someone to look after a relative as Im not a nurse, that's all im saying. I see many people who are 'carers' doing nothing in the daytime, I think a carer should be busy giving medication, washing the patient, feeding etc to earn their money. I cant see that sitting home watching tv is helping a disabled person. I see lots of examples as in my job I visit people in their homes (no Im not working for social services). My husband died suddenly and we never got any benefit that he paid into the system. If he'd been ill for a long time I could not have nursed him though its just not my thing, I cant stand having to do personal things for people. Hope that answers your comments Durhamjen

I would rather be out at work and pay someone to look after a relative as Im not a nurse, that's all im saying. I see many people who are 'carers' doing nothing in the daytime, I think a carer should be busy giving medication, washing the patient, feeding etc to earn their money. I cant see that sitting home watching tv is helping a disabled person. I see lots of examples as in my job I visit people in their homes (no Im not working for social services). My husband died suddenly and we never got any benefit that he paid into the system. If he'd been ill for a long time I could not have nursed him though its just not my thing, I cant stand having to do personal things for people. Hope that answers your comments Durhamjen

Did you read my post, Cactus, about my husband and the fact that he used me as his walking stick. He could not get meals himself,as he was so slow at doing everything. How would I have felt if he had fallen over? He fell down stairs and had the bruises to prove it. I am sure many people thought I could have been out at work earning money instead of him claiming benefits.

No one suggested compulsory Breakfast Clubs did they?
But they ought to be available for all those that wish to use them. As Gill pointed out, it's good to have a social mix, and not all parents who work are well off.

janeainsworth, yes I agree, why do children from better off families need to have breakfast provided if their parents can feed them, I was not well off when my daughter was at school but I managed to feed her and would have created ructions had she been made to eat with the poor kids.
Its using money that could be used to feed the poor kids unnecessarily

Elgran, the guy I mentioned may be ill, I don't have a problem with that but I don't see why his wife/partner etc needs to look after him when he can get around . If he was single he would have to manage therefore the wife can get a job, she can feed him in the morning and leave him a snack for lunch and feed him at night and do the housework when she comes in.
Carers often(not always I know) have an easy life, many just take the person to the shops or sit around all day watching tv and that is not a productive life, they should not have benefits for that. If the person is in A wheelchair/bedbound/on sticks etc then they would justify nursing them and getting paid for it.
There are many ways to avoid doing paid work in this country

Am I the only one who thinks that children eating breakfast at home with their families is preferable to eating it at school?
I think breakfast clubs must be wonderful if the parent(s) have to go out to work early, but I don't think they should be the ideal for everyone.
I'm sure if any government made breakfast a compulsory part of the school day we would all have something to say.

Well said Granjura

that's the trouble you are all trying to say good things, how many of you gransnetters are seeing the real situation.

Yes Elegran, they are indeed all people- including my wonderful friends who live in the estates mentioned- and the ones who have told me, again and again, how na!ive and clueless I am about the number of people who are taking advantage of the system. I have tried to say all the good things said here on this thread- but they tell me I don't know what I am talking about- as I don't live there- and do not see what they see day in, day out.

And because I respect and trust them, I listen to them and their fears and frustrations- that they wish benefits were at times better used for those who truly, really need them. And who am I to tell them I know better?This is not generalising, this is not lacking in empathy- au contraire. If you truly care for those who really need support- you'd want that money and services used for them, properly and not abused by many- perhaps too many.

Rose, I think your mention of jobs for men is very sexist, women can and do work harder than men and provide for their families, so make that jobs for all.

That cuts both ways, MiceElf!

I haven't noticed anyone advocating blanket compassion, here or elsewhere. But even if I had, I would prefer that to the self satisfied, self congratulatory judgemental assertions that have been made by some posters.

On the button ANA !!

Well said, Elegran. My husband used to call me his walking stick for 15 years after he fell off the ladder. When we lived in York, we used to walk into the city centre and go into pubs because he was unsteady all the time and slurred his speech because of the ataxia. So we thought we may as well go for a pint, as he always looked as i9f he was drunk. He was always in pain, and could only walk so far before he had to sit down. If it happened now, he would not be given DLA or the equivalent, as he could walk as far as the car.
One good thing came out of it. Nobody who knew him would ever judge anyone else on appearances again.

But I think we all know that, Elegran. We don't need to be told that people are different, and that disabilities can be invisible.

What I get fed up with, on this and other threads, is the assumption that blanket 'compassion' should be the order of the day, and anyone who dares to question that must be a hypocrite or an extreme right-winger who wants to throw the 'undeserving poor' into workhouses!

Generalisations are a bad way to see people. On this thread (and others) we have had plenty of them, mostly generalising about "the poor" or "benefit scroungers" or "people on estates".

Look a bit closer. They are all PEOPLE. Some are good, some bad, some work hard, some don't, some look after their children well, some don't. Until you have had a one-to-one conversation with them, you don't know for certain which is which.

One of my neighbours walks every day along the street and back. He looks fine, but I know that he nearly died from a stroke a couple of years ago and is still recovering. Lately his wife does not walk with him, but she did for a long time.

That man that Cactus sees walking his dog may be 100% fit and cheating to get benefits, or he may have some disability which is not obvious He may need his wife to be beside him. If Cactus were to meet them and talk for a while, who knows what problems he may be facing? Who knows what his wife may be facing?