Mumsnetter asking AIBU about Childcare from GPs

Well I think that as supposed grown ups who've been round the block a few times, we should be capable of thinking through a commitment as important as regular childcare before we embark on it. As I said, I'd observed several scenarios before dd was pregnant and we'd had conversations about our vews on this. And before you think I'm being insufferably smug, I had to put up with a lot of implied criticism because I wasn't prepared to be a regular childminder for my dgs ( not from dd). I suppose some of my feelings on this come from a real dislike of the 'martyr' mentality - people doing things apparently willingly and then you find out it's all about feeling hard done by and exploited and nothing was said to your face until a big row/ crisis blew up. IMO it's unfair to criticise the OP without accepting the GPs role in this.

I agree bags. I am very willing to help out with childcare but then my DC do not take me for granted.

I think the OP has unreasonable expectations, especially as she's asking her parents to babysit while she and her OH work on the house. If it's livable in (which has nothing to do with the decorating but whether the toilet flushes and the water heater works), the house can wait! She needs to spend more time with her own kids.

It all depends on the original agreement. Did these GPS offer, willingly to look after their GC or was this foisted upon them?

If the former and they are finding it more of a struggle than they anticipated then the OP is not bring unreasonable, and as Faye pointed out most of us do this level of child care with our eyes closed. Yes, the new baby will add another problem and that needs discussing pronto.

Re the behaviour at the restaurant, that is just as much up to the GP as the parents. Do the GP never take this child out themselves?

I'm left wondering exactly what quality of childcare these GP actually offer? There's nothing to stop them getting out and about and doing things with one little GP and it's better for both child and carer than being stuck at home all day.

There are GPS on this site who would give anything to be asked to have this level of contact with their GC.

The anecdote about going out for dinner in the mumsnet OP makes me think the child is perhaps something of a challenge.
It's easy to be wise after the event Grannytwice and say the GPs should have offered in a trial basis, but we don't know how the arrangement came about - whether the GPs did willingly offer, or whether there was an expectation on the part of the OP blended with a soupçon of emotional blackmail.

I actually think both sides are in the wrong here. Offering childcare so a dd can work is a huge commitment and gps should think really carefully before they do do. Once you are in that position, it's inevitable probably that the dd will make all sorts of decisions ( some of them financial) based on the provision of that childcare and it's withdrawal could be very problematic. Before my dd had children, I saw many examples of gps run ragged by childcare - and not in situations were the parents were hard up at all. I also saw many situations were parents accepted paying for childcare and going without for several years but at least keeping careers going. In these cases, gps were very happy to be emergency child carers and that was gratefully received. I agree the op sounds very entitled but her parents are not blameless - they should have offered to do it on a trial basis to start with and they should have discussed the problems with her and not her sister. She should have discussed the potential of a second child with them and not made assumptions.

it is reassuring that so many posters on mumsnet can see the GPs side of it.
as has been said children are your responsibility not your parent(s) and I think it is a generational thing that toddlers/young children are not as easy to mind as we probably were - lots more 'activities', loud noises and challenging behaviour. and we have very little authority over someone else's child (who is the centre of their universe.)
I will babysit my grandson willingly to give his parents a break but NOT on a regular basis (that restricts my 'own life' )

Just wondering if you have done this amount of childcare for your gc faye I have and it is extremely hard work even though we love the children dearly. Fortunately I have children who do not take me for granted or feel as entitled to free child care as the op of this thread. I agree with the response of mumsnetters on this yes op being very unreasonable.

The mumsnet OP does seem to have a sense of entitlement about her parents caring for her children. Perhaps it wasn't wise for them to express their discomfort with the arrangements with her sister rather than directly with her, but perhaps they were also using their other daughter as a sounding board about their own feelings. It does seem that our children's generation do rather take it for granted that we are available at any time and for as long as they require to look after their children. I think the OP – and many of her generation – forget that we are no longer the young mums they remember from their childhood. I think they also fail to realise that we have lives beyond being parents and grandparents – and that those lives will probably be over sooner than we all realise.