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New long distance expectant grandmother

(6 Posts)
Raffja Sat 27-Dec-14 14:42:50

My son and daughter in law are expecting their first child in Sydney at the end of April 2015. We can only travel out to visit once in that year. Does anyone have any advice about when to go? It is difficult to decide between the cuddly baby stage or wait a few months and have more chance to play. I've forgotten what age they start to be wary of people they don't know. I would welcome suggestions.
Thank you

NanKate Sat 27-Dec-14 16:47:08

If I was your DinL I would want you to visit sooner rather than later to help out as your DS and his wife will be worn out with a new baby. I felt like I'd been hit by a juggernaut in those first few months.

Grannyknot Sat 27-Dec-14 17:05:55

nan I agree re tiredness but it depends. I'd give the DILs mum "first dibs" to help (if she is around/able/wanted) and I would go a bit later. Our son and his wife bad their first baby in July. Her mum goes every week for 2 days since the pat. leave ended (and my son welcomes that) and I go every other week for the day only (on another day when the other gran is not there, although we sometimes overlap for a lunch together). In the beginning I would often be "spare" as the baby slept a lot. Since it is a bit bigger (5 months) now, I can take it out in the pram when she wants to have a nap. The baby is a lot more fun now too.

NanKate Sat 27-Dec-14 18:24:02

I agree GrannyK that it is important to give the new Mum's mother first go.

We have made a real effort with our two grandchildren to share them with their other grandparents and this has proved to be to everyone's benefit.

vampirequeen Sun 28-Dec-14 10:08:56

If you don't mind whether you go immediately or a few months later why not ask your son and daughter in law what they would prefer. Would they prefer you to be there at the start when they have numerous visitors and very little sleep or later when things have settled down a bit?

ffinnochio Sun 28-Dec-14 10:37:19

"Raffja* Check out with your daughter-in-law first, if she hasn't already made her wishes known.
All my grandchildren live abroad. For the first one, I visited when he was just a few weeks old. The second one when she was three months old. The third one at about 4 weeks. Since then, I've visited as and when I can afford to go.
I saw my youngest grandchild about a month ago. She is now 9 months old. I found this to be an engaging and delightful time. My preference would be to wait for a few months.