School phobia

Mishap what is it that makes one child able to manage a situation and another to develop a serious aversion/anxiety? Most children are OK in school. Some with specific needs /circumstances require a more tailored curriculum but some children/people do have irrational responses to situations. I agree that sometimes a school handles situations unhelpfully and causes children to become a school refuser which, I think, is different to a school phobic.

A psychiatrist can help a child who is perfectly "well".

A GP can refer a child who is hving difficulties to a psychologist, who will then decide if he/she needs to be treated by a psychiatrist. Well, that's the way it was when my son was a schoolboy twenty years ago.

Yes they can jings - but not being able to cope with school is not an illness and does not require treatment from a psychiatrist. It just requires a thorough examination of what is going on and an alteration to that child's educational arrangements, whether by amending the approach of the existing school to that child, changing schools or organising alternative education.

I have only ever once come across a child whose aversion to school related to a true anxiety unrelated to school itself.

We always started with the school, because the anxiety was situation-specific, which is a bit of a giveaway as to the nature of the problem.

vampirequeen perhaps phobias are more fears that do not have a valid reason behind them?

Mishap so long as you are sure it the school that is at fault. I would think young people, like the rest of us, can have mental/emotional hang-ups that an expert such as a psychiatrist might be able to help with.

I really do not think that psychiatric treatment is necessary for a child who is in a bad school - he/she needs a good school - that is all. A school that will meet his/her needs in a safe environment.

Mishap I don't think it is a case of blame. We can't blame a spider for someone's arachniphobia but it may well have been triggered by being surprised by a spider / walking through a web etc. Most people do not develop a phobia following such an experience but some do. this link is quite helpful.
www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Phobias/Pages/Introduction.aspx

Is a phobia not a genuine form of anxiety?

I think most school "phobias" are probably not phobias at all. Just genuine anxieties for reasons. A psychiatrist would be a good person to help sort this out.

That illustrates with great clarity the point I have been making. It is not the child who is ill, but the school and the education system that is sick or simply not suited to that child.

How could they label her as in need of psychiatric treatment when she was fine at primary school? Bats. Let us hope that things have changed a bit since then.

It is not a new phenomenon. I knew the 11 year old daughter of our neighbours when I was in my teens in the 60s. She spent a year or two attending a psychiatric hospital because of school phobia. She had been fine at primary school but at her Catholic secondary school she believed she had been taught that her father would burn in hell as he was not Catholic but she and mother and sister would be OK if they were good Catholics. Whatever she had been told it really upset her and made her too fearful to return. She was a perfectly normal little girl. I remember as an impressionable teen hearing about this school phobia that caused her to be so unwell. [Sad] I met her again later and she was fine with a family of her own.

A phobia is different from a fear with a genuine cause. It may be the safest place in the world but if the child has school phobia there is no way they can go.

I know a phobia is an irrational fear of something, what I suspect is that we call a fear of going to school a phobia because we want to maintain the idea that schools are always safe, welcoming places, whereas in actual fact there are often things going on there that are terrifying. I don't think all schools are like this and I don't think it is entirely the fault of teachers. There are some children who are completely out of control and if your child has the misfortune to encounter some of these children he/she will suffer. One of my sons stopped going to school when someone threatened to knife him. The boy in question later killed someone (after he had left school). A close escape? I just don't know.

School phobia is a real terror of school. My son had it at 14 and he was in a bad way. You can't make a well built 14 year old go to school, as some teachers stupidly suggested. At 14 he was a big lad and very strong. They even suggested removing him forcibly from the house (that was about twenty plus years ago.)

I was so worried that he wasn't socialising etc., but he is now a very successful business analyist.

He did make some efforts to go to school but always came home in a dreadful state.

My two eldest sons hated school but did attend irregularly enough not to attract too much attention from the authorities. That's the difference really. Hating school means you can grin and bear it - phobia means you simply cannot go there under any circumstances.

School phobia is like any other phobia in that the person cannot control his/her fear.

A phobia is an irrational fear of something. Like my agoraphobia. I know it's irrational. Logically I know that it's safe to go outside alone. I did it everyday for most of my life but now it's impossible because my anxiety levels go overboard and logic goes out of the window. My self protection instincts kick in and I can't step over the threshold.

Firstly I think school phobia is actually a very sensible reaction to an unbearable situation. If a child is being bullied and he is not believed, if he is faced everyday with aggravation and intimidation no wonder he doesn't want to go to school. You might be able to build up his confidence and he might with the proper support return to school, but he may also be someone who would benefit from home schooling either short or long term.
Try Education Otherwise www.educationotherwise.net/
Gives you information and helps interact with other families whose children don't go to school

Thank you Anya. I know we will just have to see how DGC gets on. Fortunately parents are fully on side and will do or pay anything to get help. Shame help isn't forthcoming unless you battle and battle with the authorities. I hate to think what happens to the children who don't have parents with the strength or resources to take on the authorities. How those poor children must suffer. I absolutely hated school but never felt bullied. If only the bullies could realise the pain caused to children who who feel isolated, lonely and excluded when all they want is friends. It breaks my heart for them all.

Nightowl your son's experience is something that teachers and other professional in the education field could learn from. There are so many facets of a child's psyche that we don't understand and we shouldn't pretend we do.

i remember, baffled by a child's behaviour, asking the Ed Psych. if there were degrees of autism. He laughed at me and assured me there was not. We now know differently, but the arrogance of the man I remember well.

I'm not suggesting any of these children are on the autistic spectrum, merely that we still have an incomplete understanding of how minds work.

Crafting every child is different and school does not work for everybody. There are alternatives.

I agree with Mishap's 10am post too - a diagnosis of anxiety or depression is a serious label to hang on any child, especially one pre-adolescence.
In my time we also used the term separation anxiety, but only for a very small number of young children who didn't want to go to school. It usually resulted from some traumatic event in infancy or early childhood.
I'm old fashioned but do not like the modern trend of creating new labels for children with problems - just an excuse for doing nothing, when to do something would cost money.

Many years ago when I began hyperventilating and having panic attacks, not that I knew that is what was happening, my GP smiled at me when I saw him and 'Ah, yes, I call it School phobia, I see a couple of cases every month .'(I was actually 26).

This Gillybob is the difference between hating school and having school phobia. The child with the phobia is having panic attacks and other serious physical and psychological symptoms that come on when the time comes to go school, or sometimes even talking about school.
Like crafting I loathed my secondary school but still went and devoted a considerable amount of time to being as subversive as possible. I didn't have school phobia.

Thank you Crafting Like you I hated secondary school. It was an all girls grammar and bullying (teachers and pupils alike) was very common.

My 2 DGD's love school and are very bright. DGS is not so keen and tells me he doesn't want to go but doesn't make a fuss so probably just needs a bit of encouragment.

I wonder if it a combination of bullying, feelings of inadequacy and homesickness?

Not sure I can gillybob as I had never heard the expression befor my DGC was diagnosed but I think it was described as emotional distress and fear at the thought of school. This is not truancy as the GP said he thought it unwise for DGC to be taken to school in such a state. It is not anger or boredom with school but real dread. I personally hated school but went to school like most other children do.

Can anyone explain the diference between a child "hating" school and not wanting to go and a school phobia please?

Mishap I found your earlier post (10.00)extremely helpful.

Thank you all for your helpful comments. Unfortunately DGC was told that there was no bullying and was not believed for many months. This led to total breakdown of self confidence and the belief that no one at school would listen (although parents did and gave huge support). Only when the EA became involved did the school admit there was bullying but by then the damage was done. The depression and anxiety is not just at school as the breakdown of self confidence now affects relationships with other children elsewhere too.

Oh - the "professionals" often do blame the parents. Sometimes they are right and a bit of advice is needed, but it has become a catch-all cop-out.

Thank you Mishap. I do so agree with everything you say about school not being a natural environment for a child. Some will love it (my older two did) but some simply can't cope with it.

Crafting my son was also diagnosed with anxiety but fortunately by a wonderful child psychiatrist who refused to actually put the label on him, if that makes sense. Her view was that it was 'par for the course' with school phobia rather than a psychiatric disorder. We were able to explain to her that he was not depressed or anxious at home when school was not an issue. During school holidays for example the pressure lifted and he was a different child. Unfortunately the other professionals used this as an example of him 'manipulating' us and of us 'being too soft'. Ho hum, we eventually grew very thick skins!