Child Minding

They do 'absorb' that love when they're little, in the same way that babies/young children that have been badly treated don't get over it, even if they don't remember what happened.

Tegan, yes it's sad isn't it that they remember so little.My eldest DGS remembers virtually nothing of when he was small, and our own children the same. I did read that the brain actively dumps memories of no consequence so the child can fill it with memories that are important to remember, which is called something along the lines of conscious amnesia.So none of us recall much of what happened before we are about five years old, unless it was momentous or terrible in some way.However, although they won't actively recall things that we did for them, I like to think that it still helps build the relationship.

My grandson used to go into his playpen and shut the door when I asked him to so I could go to the loo. I always said please and thank you to him for doing so . I spent quite a lot of time looking after him when he was a toddler but feel a bit sad that, even though I remember what we did [eg reading Thomas the Tank over and over again] he doesn't recall any of it. When he was in his high chair I used to blow bubbles around the kitchen and when he got older I always used to sit at his little table with him to eat. I asked him about the house he lived in back then and he can only remember the house where he is now.

Yes, I would do it to, you will be helping out and forging a good relationship with the children at the same time.As city granny says, get a playpen!So many parents don't have them now, and it's a nightmare If you need the loo or to answer the phone etc.If it all proves too much for you, then at least you have tried.

Oh and buy a playpen, it gives you peace of mind if you have to run to the toilet etc. lol.

Good decision flower. I think little girls are easier to look after than boys and am hoping that I might get asked to look after my little grandaughter sometimes as I'm no longer needed to look after the boys. I just hope that it doesn't change the dynamic of the relationship with your DIL though, even though you do get on very well with her.

If your fit enough then i'm sure you will enjoy it.I look after my 2year old GD three days a week 7am till 5pm. We go to parent and toddler groups and i was surprised at the amount of Granny's that attend ! I drive so we are always out and about it breaks up the day, and i am also lucky that she takes a nap for 1-2 hours so thats when i recharge my batteries lol. It takes a wee while to get into the swing of things but if you just take your time and relax it can be great fun.

Have made the decision to have them from mid September, two days a week but if I have other plans such as concerts (I go off for a week or so following my favourite Celtic band) or appointments then my son will take the day off work and only needs a days notice. I am looking forward to it.

Hi, I was a registered childminder from 1987 until August last year (had a break to care for my husband who has Alzheimer's) and I had to give up around my 62nd birthday - last August - because I just couldn't cope with them anymore. I do have osteoarthritis and fibromyalgia but the toddlers wanted me to roll around on the floor with them like their parents do and you can't explain to a 2 years old that you're not as fit as Mummy and Daddy. It certainly is very tiring and tying too although we love them and hate to say no to looking after them.

In my case, being registered, I had to do the childminding course and keep doing courses in the evenings after the little ones had gone home and the paperwork now is unbelievable but as a grandparent, you wouldn't have to do all that. It was as much the paperwork as the children wearing me out that made me have to stop.

Good luck in whatever you choose to do.

Have taken all advice on board, will probably tell them that I will give it a try until Christmas and if it is too much with the long day then I will not carry on. Thank you all.

If I were you I would give it a trial run and see how it goes. We do one day a week looking after 2 year old GD in our home and neither of us would pass any sort of fitness test! It is so lovely when she is here - she potters about as if it were her own home and it is a real trip down memory lane for us to the times when we had our own little ones at home; especially as she is the spit of her mother, so it is like having little DD3 around again. Aah!

I'd say give it a go, perhaps just one day a week at first, and see how you go on. Try it out at your house then at theirs and just see what works best for you.

I look after my DGS2 two days a week, 0700h to 1745h, and it's a joy. Of course there's only one of him and as of last month there are two of us as DH has just retired and is, for now at least, coming with me. Would you be on your own with the children? It's so much simpler to nip up two flights of stairs for a forgotten muslin, etc, when you don't have to carry a child with you. DGS2 adores his grandad and they have their own fun sessions out in the garden etc while I have a little nap rest.

We usually look after him at his home, though occasionally he comes to ours. There are different advantages to each. We are told very firmly that we are not expected to tidy up, etc, at DD2's, though of course we do a bit of it on the sly. That means we can just wave goodbye at the end of the day and go home to our tidy house. She also cooks for all three of us, bless her, so our lunch and tea are in the fridge ready for us just to heat up.

It's good to have him at ours sometimes though - we have a lot of toys here for him and can take him out to our local child friendly attractions for a change. And he can torment play with our cat, which he adores.

Good luck with your decision! It sounds as though you have a lovely family, so I'm sure things will work out whatever happens.

I too would say give it a go in whichever house suits you best. Most grannies finish up with duplicate baby equipment, whether bought or borrowed. As they are of an age to still have a nap, you might find yours easier, but only you can say.
However, and this is, in my opinion , important - you and they do need a Plan B in case of illness and you should not be the person to put this in place-if necessary, your DIL might need to take time off work, just as she would for a "paid" childminder . You will love the time with them, you will be helping their parents and most importantly, forging a very special bond with your grandchildren.

I so agree Gagagran. We are so lucky and it is such a joy. My DH helps a lot as well. He provides the fun and games and the lifts to Brownies etc. and I deal with the practicalities- school lunches, mealtimes, washing, homework etc. There is a lot to say for the days of the extended family not much in evidence now.

I can only speak from experience. We have the GS's during all holidays that can't be covered and sick leave. We usually take them away for a holiday every year. I adore every minute of it BUT it is tiring and I am glad that I drew up the boundaries from the word go. We also have a life! and I would be loathe to give up that unless absolutely necessary. However my daughter and sil have a very good income and could afford excellent quality child care when they were pre school. What I would have done if they were in difficulties I am not sure - well I am - I would have looked after them of course and full time if necessary, probably killed myself in the process!!

My DH and I also looked after our GD from the age of 4mths 3 days a week from 7.30am until 5.30 pm.
I much preferred having her at my house as all my jobs got done, meals prepared etc,After all you didn't loook after your own children in someone elses house.
When she was 12 months old I was diagnosed with BC and after 3 weeks we went back to having her just 2 days a week and she went to my radiotherapy with us.
It is an amazing time and as Greenfinch said we have a closer bond with her than our other GC where the need was not there. SHe is nearly 17 now and I wouldn't have missed it ,so just give it a try. Nothing ventured as they say.

Definitely be easier with two of you available. Even if GDad just keeps an eye on the toddler.

I have looked after all 4 of my DGC for varying periods over the years and always found it easier in my own home.

I also have a very good DH who was and is an excellent Grandad - always willing, when they were small, to take them out to "help" in the garden, go splashing puddles, go to the rec. etc. All to give me a break. It is a privilege to be part of their lives and very special bonds and memories are made.

DH now acts as taxi-man and sitter for DGC and is glad to do it and we are both still involved in their early teen years. It's wonderful!

I agree with Greenfinch about doing it in your own home. But this is only my personal choice and based in having good parking at my house, extra room downstairs which acts as a toy room, knowing where everything is, especially in the kitchen, etc..

Unlike some others I would suggest doing it in your own home where you know where everything is and don't have to worry about tidying up at the end of the day. I know my situation was different and I had them full time but I still preferred the comfort of my own home.

I do agree about the special bond. The twins are now 7 and still love coming to our house and staying with us. In fact it feels strange to us that sadly we don't have this special bond with our other grandchild who has always been held at arm's length from us though we would love to.

I would give it a go, but I wonder if you could get some help, rather like a mother's help? Possibly a student with a couple of hours to spare, who would work along side of you? x

I think it depends on you physical strength and whether you are doing it on your own. I am very fit, but I do find it very tiring looking after the little ones. The stairs, the lifting to change nappies, or put into high chairs, assembling the buggy to go out. Plus the mental alertness needed to keep them safe.

If it was me I would try a compromise of 1 day a week.

I would give it a go. Your son and DIL sound very caring and reasonable. If you tried for, say three months, you would know within that time if it is too much for you and be able to give them time to find an alternative arrangement.

I know what you mean about it being a long day but they will both have naps presumably, or if the toddler is past that stage she will still need a quiet time during the day.

I find that I don't feel tired during the day if I'm looking after my DGCs but collapse when I get home.

Flower I would say give it a go too, but definitely at their house, then you can go home and everywhere will be tidy and relaxing!
It is a huge responsibility to have such a young baby and a toddler, but a wonderful opportunity to bond.

Good luck

I am 66 and DH and myself currently mind our 2 year old DGD 2 days a week. She is dropped off at our house at 7.30am and we do the school run for her 2 brothers at 3.30. I then cook tea for all 3 at their house and we get home by 6pm.She is the 5th DGC we have looked after part-time from when they were about 6 months old.
We love it. It's wonderful to be part of their lives. Go for it.