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At what age.....

(19 Posts)
ninathenana Tue 02-Jun-15 15:21:25

Did/do you allow your DGS to use the men's loos when your out ?
I would never let him use a public loo alone but I do stand guard outside a shop or café men's. He gets embarrassed going in the ladies with me. He's 6.

soontobe Tue 02-Jun-15 16:04:56

With my sons, it was 8. I dont think mine particularly noticed until they were 7.

mcem Tue 02-Jun-15 16:13:29

nina - exactly the same. 6 year-old ĢS who wants to be independent so no longer wants to accompany me and little sis into the Ladies. Like you I stand outside the Gents in shops and restaurants!

whenim64 Tue 02-Jun-15 16:47:09

I weigh up where we are and if it's a busy ladies' toilets, there's often the disabled toilet if it's not occupied. If it's a smaller one, I decide between men's or ladies. Really iffy about letting young children go alone into the men's.

Nelliemoser Tue 02-Jun-15 17:19:53

So would I be worried however they are too young at present.

Mishap Tue 02-Jun-15 17:25:43

My mother used to tell the tale of taking us on a boat and my brother (then about 5) needing the loo. She sent him into the gents in spite of his reluctance and he came out after a few minutes and said "There are no toilets, there are only sinks." She told him that those were where he had to wee, and he went back in. After several minutes he came back out and said "They are too high!" A nearby sailor offered to take him in and help him and Mum agreed - I do not think anyone would agree to that so readily these days unfortunately.

Jane10 Tue 02-Jun-15 17:29:17

I was a bit uncomfortable recently in our gym changing room when a lady brought in her two boys aged between 8 and 10 I'd estimate. Lots of ladies changing after Aquafit class in all stages of undress from starkers upwards! Re Gents toilets: I thought enough was enough when I found my DS trying to dry his hands under a sanitary towel dispenser!

ninathenana Tue 02-Jun-15 17:30:55

Yes, when I am uneasy about it.
I have had women tut at me for taking him in the ladies with me. I just say "he's 6" and carry on. It wasn't helped by a girl about his own age standing hands on hips and telling him "boys aren't allowed in here" in her own officious way, now he's even more conscious of the situation.

loopylou Tue 02-Jun-15 17:33:00

Far better safe than sorry, I have yet to reach this dilemma so any advice welcome for future use smile

Leticia Tue 02-Jun-15 17:51:21

As soon as they refuse to go into the Ladies- about 6 yrs.

Mishap Tue 02-Jun-15 17:54:34

My 3 year old GS went into the ladies at the local swimming pool yesterday, came out and announced at the very top of his voice to a roomful of aquafit naked elderly ladies "Do you know, it smells of poo in there!"

TerriBull Tue 02-Jun-15 18:07:33

When my boys were young, I'd always take them into the ladies with me, I didn't feel happy sending them into the gents on their own. ninathenana - I had to laugh at your comment about the Strikethrough bossy 6 year old, hands on hips girl, They seemed to be all over the place when my boys were young, I remember once incident in particular, superior six year old girl few doors along from us throwing out the comment to me when passing her front garden "is he ever going to ride that bike properly?" alluding to my three year old's stabilisers grin

Falconbird Wed 03-Jun-15 14:49:55

When my son was 3 I used to take him with me into the Ladies if I was out on my own.

He always asked for some special Ladies' Chocolate (the ST machine) and once he marched up to the sinks and did a wee in the plumbing under the sink!!

It's worrying when they get to about 6 and don't want to come into the Ladies. I had 3 sons and spent years at the entrances to Gents' toilets calling out "are you OK in there."

AshTree Wed 03-Jun-15 14:59:43

I have noticed, rarely, that some stores have "parent and child" toilets - I'm not referring to the baby changing rooms, but a separate toilet for the use of a father and daughter or a mother and son. (or, of course, GF and GD or GM and GS) What an excellent idea! Saves so many problems all round.

PRINTMISS Wed 03-Jun-15 15:01:27

Nothing to do with this thread, but this came to mind. We were a group of typist in the 'pool' all sort of sixteen - eighteen year olds, and seen life through eyes of the war. We worked in a tall Victorian building in the heart of London, and some maintenance work was being done on the Ladies toilets, so we were being directed to the men's which was shut to the men, can't remember where the went. One of the girls, after her first visit to the mens, came back and announced we had footbaths!

Iam64 Wed 03-Jun-15 18:31:53

I'd be uneasy about boys under the age of 10 (or thereabouts, depending on the child) using the male toilets alone. There was a horrible case in Manchester recently, where a 14 year old boy was raped in public toilets in a busy shopping centre. I am not for a minute suggesting that many men pose a threat to children, but it only takes one doesn't it.

Swimming baths are another area seen as a possible "hunting ground" by paedophiles. I have no problem with primary school lads using the female changing rooms with their mothers.

pinkprincess Wed 03-Jun-15 21:47:38

I think my two sons were about 8 or 9 but I always kept a careful watch at the door.
A few years ago I was out shopping with my grandson who was then about 9 and my DGD3. He needed the toilet and as he is autistic I was worried about him going into the gents on his own so suggested he went into the ladies with me and his half sister. He refused saying that the ladies are for girls. We reluctantly took him to the mens and waited anxiously outside.
My granddaughter who was 13 then but with a lot of bottle announced after five minutes that she was going to go in and get him. Luckily he appeared then but it was scary.

Leticia Wed 03-Jun-15 22:11:32

I am surprised that you get them to go into the Ladies once they get to about 6 yrs- mine flatly refused. I also never see boys above that age in the ladies when I am out and about.

durhamjen Wed 03-Jun-15 22:26:53

I go into the disabled toilet with my 13 year old grandson. He cannot go into the men's toilets as the noise of hand-dryers makes him want to scream.

Just telling you in case you notice anyone coming out of disabled toilets looking like they are not disabled. Not all disabilities are visible.