Daughter in Law wants Advice

I'll pass on what you said trisher, thank you.

Thanks for the update. I do understand how she feels. There was a time when a teacher could bring to the job a lot of things, adapting what they were teaching to their personal tastes and what suited their pupils best. No longer! She will work out her own way of dealing with things and working in bits of what she wants. Meantime she has made a huge step accepting that if she does her best that is enough. Teaching sometimes needs a thick skin and the ability to say "S-- them!". I wish her all the best, it is a wonderful job if aggravating,stressful and demanding.

Thanks ladies. Her attitude has changed quite a bit. She was passionate about teaching the children well but finds that due to so many constraints she can't do that. For example she's obliged to teach one class poetry which she says is unsuitable for their age group as they just don't understand it. She was so upset one day because she feels that rather than giving the children a love of poetry she's completely ruining it for them. She says that under the difficult circumstances she will just do her best.

Well that is brave of her and well done that lady. I hope that her actions have alerted the school to the fact that they need to discharge their proper duties of care as employers.

As an experienced teacher can I say that the period between September and the October half term is always the most difficult. New pupils, sometimes new courses, new procedures - it always takes about 6 weeks to settle. This is much harder as a NQT as you don't realise that it passes and gets much better. The before you know it it's September again

Glad for your DiL, Sadiesnan. I had ups and downs but overall very much enjoyed my 50 years teaching and, I hope, did my best for the children I taught. It is, at best, a most rewarding profession although I do appreciate that the current pressure regarding paperwork and tick boxes is ludicrous and depressing. Teaching is about giving your pupils the best you are able.

Thanks for the update. It's a familiar process that young, newly qualified professionals put too much pressure on themselves. I don't think the words used by Ofsted are helpful either. When one of my daughter's was in her post qualifying year at a very tough school, a number of my (retired) teaching pals advised her "just aim to survive, don't aim to be outstanding". It took her to the October half term to decide if she was to be anything close to outstanding in front of her class of 30 unruly children, she couldn't also do outstanding paper work.

UPDATE:

She's now decided to do this year and has withdrawn her notice! They want her to stay. The three things that have prompted this decision appear to be; the need for a job, the school giving her the support they should have given her in the first place and most influential on her decision seems to be that since handing her notice in she's taken the pressure off herself and found that caring too much about it all was doing her head in.

SEN is certainly no easy option. Does DiL intend to go into Special Schools or continue to work in mainstream? There is such a range of SEN and all should require specialist training. The SEN teacher also has to work closely with other staff and parents. 'People skills' are a must! It can be very stressful but also so rewarding.

I worked in mainstream schools firstly from a Local Authority Central Service and then money was delegated into schools and we were 'bought in' as the schools saw fit. Most only bought in the basic requirements which usually just involved advice to staff. I was lucky as I had worked previously as a class teacher in both primary and secondary schools and had empathy with the problems teachers might have. As a result they respected my input and were happy to continue paying for it. However as cuts came in, younger, less experienced and poorly trained staff were employed and schools began to use their own teachers (often untrained in SEN). The service was then cut dramatically and all that expertise was lost.

Don't get me wrong there were and always will be some schools who are excellent with their SEN pupils and provide for their needs. Make sure DiL does her research in her particular local authority as each one is different. I wish her luck whatever path she takes.

She must think very highly of you to ask advice even if she has turned round and handed in her notice. She will need your support more than ever over the next months/year. I think she is so fortunate to have you Sadiesnan - good luck to you both. Schools are crying out for good teachers of Special Needs though it is no easy option.

Just read through this thread as it rang a bell. My DD1 didn't manage to complete her PGCE course to be a science teacher as she was sent to a school which sounds just like the one your DDiL is in. It was such a shame as she's a natural teacher and brilliant with kids. I just wanted to say that I hope all goes well and your DiL succeeds and enjoys a future with special needs kids. It would be a pity to waste her training and ability.

But...... If she doesn't - my DD1, after a lot of angst, ended up working for an industrial firm in their logistics department and is now manager of several warehouses, loves her job and earns three times more than she would have had she remained in teaching. Your DiL is obviously a conscientious, intelligent and dedicated person. She now has her teaching qualification which, I assume, can be used any time in the future if she wishes, but there are many, many other options open to her. The world is her oyster!

Sorry - obviously hadn't read the bottom of the post! I ended up teaching children with special needs. It's so rewarding!

I nearly gave up in my first month's teaching - 39 years later I retired! Are there any other NQTs in her school and if not, do the local authority run NQT sessions? They should! Life as a teacher is certainly very hard for NQTs as they are not much older than their eldest pupils. She should certainly be in a professional association. My "Young Teachers" involvement was my lifeline. Tell her to stick at it if she can. I changed jobs after my first year and was much happier but I know that is not as easy to do these days! I feel for her.

T̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶d̶i̶d̶ ̶t̶r̶y̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶h̶e̶l̶p̶ ̶h̶e̶r̶. They cut her teaching hours to what they should have been for an NQT, they took the worst class in the school off her and they referred her to a counsellor. They don't deserve her, quite honestly. She's looking at teaching special educational needs children as she thinks that's the way she wants to go.

FE is certainly not an easy option. Many of the students who take on vocational courses can barely read or write. Teaching those students is very hard work primarily because so many have been excluded from mainstream school for some reason, have learning difficulties etc. However they were a doddle in comparison with supply teachers who are considered fair game along with NQTs'. So I suspect as an NQT, with little or no support she was let down by the system.

It's no wonder people don't want to teach any more.

Thanks for the update Sadiesnan
I hope your DiL is feeling better.
I wonder how the school reacted? It's not good for their reputation to have a high turnover of teachers. Did they make any attempts to help her?

UPDATE: She's handed her notice in and leaves at Christmas.

Over and above the terrible situation that the Op DiL is in, I am a little confused and even a little annoyed.....My DD has just started a 4 year MEd in Primary Education, specifically Primary Education.....so how can people be talking casually about just changing from Secondary to Primary teaching as if they are the same thing? They certainly are not. DD has to study all of the curriculum subjects ( an undoubtedly they will add more during the time), pus all the psychology of teaching, psychology of childhood etc., etc. So how can a graduate in English or whatever, with a PGCE just decide to change tack? This is not to belittle the worries of the OP, but surely the transition cant be that simple?

I had wondered how things went. Are you feeling that she is depressed? If she is it is no wonder she could not cope in the classroom. Poor lass.

I remember when I left social work, I got to the point where I could not even park in the car park outside our offices without crying. I really could not bear to be there for one more second. I think I was probably quite depressed anyway, but the whole work thing with its corrupt practices was a step too far.

Your DIL is lucky to have you around to offer support. How is your son coping with all this?

She's not in a good place right now. I've advised her to see her GP.

Too true!

Anya - Japanese rugby team? If they'd arrived in our very small local M and S food store there'd have been no room for anyone else - and they'd still be queueing at the till anyway!

All the names appear to be blue on the mobile site!

I'm pale pink on the desktop site and fuchsia pink on the mobile site.

There's your answer then Merlot - it's aesthetically pleasing.