Losing confidence in driving

Knowing your limitations and driving with caution is the right thing to do of course if you are having problems with physical ability. To put other road users in danger as well as yourself is of course the main consideration when driving and hopefully most people avoid doing it , so if you don't have confidence or the physical strengths to carry out certain things on a drive then don't do it.
Confidence is not a 'gung-ho' mentality it is having belief in ones ability to carry out manoeuvres on the highway safely without putting anyone at risk.

As soon as those abilities start to diminish we should all then adjust our driving accordingly.

tanith as I said in a previous post when joining the M25 from the M11 when all lanes are nose to tail on the M25 there is often no choice but to stop in the slip road and wait for someone to make room for you, usually it's truckers who do.
Joining from the M26 on to M25 can be the same. At busy times there can be queues of 20 or so cars on the slip road.
Your very fortunate if you've never had to stop on a slip road.

I bought a Satnav so I could drive places .It gives me the confidence to drive to places I haven't been to before .I wouldn't be without it x

"shove your way in" - that sounds like a risky strategy merlot!!!

I think it is heartening to hear that so many people here have the wisdom to know their limitations. Hidge, the idea that it is all in the mind is not true! - our reaction times decrease as we age, as does the ability of our eyes to respond quickly to changing light (as in night driving when there are headlights approaching). I would rather be on the road with those who approach driving at our age with caution than with those who are gung-ho and "confident."

Being aware of limitations and driving with caution to take these into account is a wise thing and not a sign of lack of confidence.

We an take account of these by not using motorways at busy times and by driving with extra care at night. I think these are sensible precautions - the consequences of getting it wrong are so serious that it is foolish to brush them off.

I am ok driving short distances to work etc but sometimes build myself into a bit of a state when having to do a longer journey especially motorway driving it's the getting on and coming off that scares me also over the last few years I find driving at night really difficult.

It has been interesting to read all the comments about confident driving. I am still driving at age 84 and it does not trouble me to drive on the motorways and do so regularly on the M6. I also hold a motor cycle licence to ride a bike up to 1000cc. It is sad to read so many people losing their confidence. I believe that if you tell your mind you are scared then you will be. Everything begins and ends in the MIND !

There's a motorways merge bit on M60/M61 where I have to merge on to the fast lane. Hate it.

Definitely true, DeeWhyO. It's like running, if you stop you'll seize up and will never run again.
The good quality car is essential, too - it's not about driving fast, it's about having the power to accelerate out of a tricky situation if you need to. It can make all the difference, also on slip roads.

The rules for dual carriageways allow for stopping on the slip road - that is not the case on a motorway slip road where it is illegal to stop - hence the problem.

DD lives an hour away, hence the need to drive M4/M25. I, too, had lost a bit of confidence by only driving locally but now DCG have arrived I need to help out occasionally and want to see them. I decided to upgrade to a good quality car and felt a lot less like a 'little old granny' pootling along in an oldish car. It has worked a treat, I now drive more, feel more confident and don't exactly enjoy it but don't feel nearly so anxious. Recently volunteered to drive some girlfriends and was commented on being a good driver - v. chuffed. I've found by pushing myself to drive more my confidence has returned. I now insist on driving DHs car for a bit on long journeys too. Agree wholeheartedly that you use it or lose it!

I too find most drivers will make room or move over to allow entry from the slip road , its all about driving confidently I can't remember any instance in 35yrs where I have had to stop in the slip road onto a motorway it really is very dangerous and that's all I'll say.

You are funny older ! Have fun but do be careful

Go for it, Anniebach ... get yourself something sleek, fast, in your favourite colour. I struggled for years with the colour, telling myself no, you can't have a red soft-top, it will look so flash.

Now I drive a red soft-top and the thing I love most is some little boy racer next to me in his souped-up Corsa, trying to keep up while I'm in the fast lane, and the look on his face when he sees a middle-aged woman at the wheel ... before she puts her foot down and he is just a little speck in the rear-view mirror.

Life is short, live it

I used to drive when working - it was necessary and i never thought about it. When we retired i was okay until DH changed our car and i hated the new one with a vengeance and looked for excuses not to drive it. He tried gentle persuasion and failed. Then this year, he wasn't allowed to drive for six weeks so i was thrown in at the deep end. I had to bring him home from the hospital after surgery, from the other side of the city, in the rush hour, past four huge and very busy roundabouts. I was a nervous wreck when we got home. I managed to get us through the six months without any major mishaps, but i agree with those who say "use it or lose it". Before we had this car, i had a Jazz, which, when i sat in it, i felt i was almost a part of. I would take it anywhere and not give it a thought. I can't see us going back to one, as DH said it was too small for him, so i am in danger of becoming a permanent passenger for all but the shortest journeys. I'm a bit ashamed of myself really for being such a wimp.

DD2 lives three hours away and when our first grandchild was born I realised I would have to be prepared to jump in the car and tackle the M11, M25 and M3 or miss out on seeing him. DH had always insisted on driving long journeys (man thing) so although I drove quite a lot I'd had very little experience on motorways.

I soon updated my car. Confidence builds if you have faith in your vehicle and enjoy driving it. I remember the first time I drove off the Queen Elizabeth Bridge (when it was a chuck it in the bucket toll) in that free for all to get into lanes and thinking, Wee Hee.....I've done it!!

The one thing I'm strict about now is not driving when I'm likely to get tired. We always leave before lunch and time it so we don't get stuck in rush hour traffic at the other end.

I think this is a very good subject, I'm not a wildly confident driver, and I don't know if anyone else is like me, but whilst I drove my own children everywhere, I feel quite overwhelmed by the responsibility of driving grandchildren. I try to keep these journeys short.

Driving is very much about confidence, my older son drives up into central London on a daily basis, I confess this is something I have never done and am not likely to now. I think it's important to drive and wouldn't want to be without my car, but quite honestly I'd rather be driven, I consider my husband to be a very good driver and as he suffers from motion sickness when driven by others, if we are out together, then I'm happy to let him get on with it, as a rule we don't share the driving.

I would certainly consider a refresher course if I ever found myself in the position of being "main driver" faced with long journeys.

Better to stop if you have to on a slip road ( it could be that or death!)

I find drivers are usually good at moving across as well. Slip roads are well signposted for motorway drivers so there is plenty of time to move over and allow the traffic to join at a sensible speed.

If you are in the slow lane and you can't move over, reduce your speed and let one or two cars in. The others will hopefully receive the same consideration from the drivers behind you.

If you are on the slip road and the traffic has slowed right down to a crawl you just have to indicate and shove your way in.

I prefer to get out in the fast overtaking lane as soon as poss and stay away from all the mish-mash taking place on the left.

Where we live near the busy A46 and M40 drivers are pretty good about moving across, in plenty of time, as they approach a slip road to allow traffic to filter in.

I wonder why people joining from a slip road on to a main road always assume that the person on the main road will move over. I live near the A1 which of course is a dual carriage way. People in Cambs just seem to drive on from slip roads without even looking. Most of the time, if you are on the inside lane, you cannot move out because cars are overtaking you. It's a very busy road. Sometimes they come out right in front of you, not giving you time to slow down to let them in. I am always really careful when I am on the slip road, if it means having to stop and wait then so be it.

I have just lost my post which quoted chunks of the Highway Code and I can't be @sed to find them again!

So this is a summary:

- there is NO advice whatsoever on what to do if there is no suitable gap in the traffic - great!
- you are not allowed to stop on the slip road, except in an emergency - presumably being about to cause a crash if you join the motorway might qualify as an emergency - it does not say!

I hate the M25. I've used it loads when visiting my family in Essex. The thing with the M25 is that no-one uses any of the lanes as an overtaking lane. Or perhaps the reverse is true: that everyone uses every lane as an overtaking lane. All motorway rules seem to have flown out of the window as far as the M25 is concerned. All lanes move more or less at the same speed, or don't move at all, and traffic lane-hops continuously in a pointless dance, trying to get ahead of the car in front. For no apparent reason the traffic will start to move when it's been at a standstill, so up comes the clutch, down goes the accelerator and then, with no warning, it stops again. Quick, brake!!
The level of concentration required to keep up with this gives my brain the sort of workout I could do without these days

I do quite a lot of driving a mixture of A roads and duel carriageway to get to work everyday and I drive a long journey once or twice a month on the M4 and M25 to get to my daughters house. I never thought I would have the confidence to drive on the M25 but after I divorced ( ex husband used to drive it before) I had to do it or not see the children/grandchildren much. It's surprising what you will make yourself do when you have to. Doing much more driving because there isn't anyone else to share it means I am a much more confident driver than I used to be. I'm very relaxed locally I do always use my sat nav on motorways as I'm afraid if I have to get off because a junction has closed I won't be able to find my way but on the whole I enjoy driving. I'll never love the M25 it is a horrible motorway but needs must. I do think a driving school refresher is a good idea and do hope you get your confidence back NanKate

Exactly what I was thinking, Luckygirl! I do keep up to the speed of the motorway traffic when approaching on the slip road, but if no one will/can let me in there's no alternative but to grind to a halt...

But what if you match your speed and there is no gap before the slip road runs out? I am not prepared to assume that someone will move out or slow down to let me in - as someone has already pointed out, all the other road users are idiots!

My OH used to nag at me to keep my speed going on the main motorway even if someone needed to get in from a slip road. You can't have it both ways! - either people on the main motorway slow down or change lane to let you in, or you on the slip road have to slow down or stop if there is no gap! I would rather be the one taking the decision to slow down in preference to relying on an idiot on the main carriageway making a space. At least I know I will do it!