Help .....Year old Granddaughter fights sleep!!

Might be this book

The Rabbit Who Wants To Fall Asleep: A New Way Of Getting Children To Sleep

There is a book by a Scandinavian phsycologist a story that guarantees sleep, forgotten name but trust me it works.

We had torrid times trying to get DGD off to sleep too. For the daytime nap I would take her into our bedroom and rock/sing her to sleep and then lie on the bed with her in my arms. Same thing at bedtime, sat for ages in the chair beside her travel cot and everytime I tried to put her in the cot she would wake up and cry. DH and I would each spend at least an hour before she would settle.
At home they would leave her to cry even to the point where she ended up being sick!
Then suddenly all changed around 18-20 months ... now she goes into her cot quite happily for a daytime nap and also at night. We say goodnight to all the animals on her walls and then she's in the cot waving us out the room!!! ?
I do miss the wee cuddle and singing session, but what a change! Might be something to do with her beloved dummies being in her cot and apart from when she's in the car it's the only time she's allowed one. ?

Just to add that I had 2 more children and they were both fine.

First child was a nightmare. She only slept 3-4 hours (sometimes at night). I tried letting her cry but by 4.30 am I'd had enough listening to her screaming. Once she stayed awake for 72 hours with just a few 15 min naps - aged 6 months (I can even tell you the date!) - and learnt to stand and walk about holding onto furniture. Everyone thought she was so 'advanced' - she should have been, she had more time to learn stuff than the other babies who were sensibly sleeping. She eventually learnt to sleep when she was 3.

PS. She's 40 this year and lovely.

I'm with you trisher. They need that for such a little time, and grow so fast, that I think it's worth easing them gently into a routine and holding on to the thought that it will pass.

I remember how tiring it was as a mum of babies but what I wouldn't give for a day with my babies again. So now I'm reliving it just a little with my grandchildren, but of course I go by parents' rules now

I'm a softy! Always cuddled and rocked to sleep when mine were small and do the same for my DGCs. About age 2 they progress to going into their bed and I pat their back, sing to them. Can't do with crying babies. I do wonder if it is something to do with how you were treated as a baby, apparently my mother used to put me in my pram and push me down to the end of the garden so she couldn't hear me crying!

I wonder if the little one is overtired! 2 of my DGCs were like this. Once they got to screaming point, they were definitely 'past their sell by date'! The trick, I found, was to get them when they developed that glazed look and settle them down then. No more stimulation, just a quiet cuddle and maybe a song.

DD1 has 2 children who just don't seem to sleep longer than an hour or 2. They both seem to have got into a pattern. Poor DD is exhausted.

I would agree that a nap as routine in the middle of the day may help not only the little one, but you and her parents, Nannyliz At a year old, a little bit of firmness won't do any harm as long as she is warm and safe.

I also used to do the walk in the buggy bit with both DCs and DGCs. It never failed. And good to get some exercise and fresh air too. Good luck!

busylizzy I was so moved by your story. I really feel for your poor daughter, she must be at the end of her rope. And it's not as though you can even give her a night or two's respite by having your little GD to stay because, as you say, she won't let anyone other than her mum comfort her. I do hope, for all your sakes, that a solution can be found, or that she naturally grows out of this terrible stage soon.

busy that is difficult, so sorry for all of you. What about contacting a toddler sleep expert for advice? They seem to do wonders (I'm on a mum's network group and this is a common problem and resolution). Perhaps GNHQ could get one in for a webchat.

We do the "no-fuss" thing with our grandson when he comes to stay over (he is 18 months) and the folks are out. He fell asleep sitting up last time, grizzling, eventually he just sort of folded over , fast asleep. I left him to it and after a while he straightened his legs out and slept through.

He loves his travel cot at ours.

Poor busylizzy. That is a terrible situation. You can cope with anything if you can get some sleep. Your poor daughter must get some help, especially if her daughter has a diagnosed problem? I feel for you. We had children that never slept well as babies and toddlers and it takes all the joy out of parenthood.

Our darling little grandaughter, aged 3, has a very rare chromasome disorder, and though not confirmed yet, probable autism. Physically beautiful, and very sweet natured her main problem is that she has delayed learning and language development. She also doesn't sleep! My poor daughter gets about 2 - 2 hour blocks of sleep a night. ( partner long gone). If left to cry, she gets so distraught she is sick, and won't sleep again at all that night. If she gets cuddles, at least she might sleep again eventually. She is on medication at bedtime, , or she we would be worse. She won't let anyone other than Mum comfort her. Sorry for the long story, but they stayed over for the last 2 nights, so we were awake from 1:30 till 6 am. Got a couple of hours from 6 till 8. Shattered and so upset that we can't help. Poor daughter is like a zombie.

Thank you all so much for your encouragement. It's good to know that other Grans have had similar experiences with their DGC! This little one is our 6th grandchild, our eldest grandson is 16 so we are a bit out of touch and as Nana3 says we are older now and have less energy. So I'm going to carry on with the travel cot routine. Nelliemoser my daughter in law also feeds our little one to sleep and carries her everywhere in a sling, I'm sure this this has something to do with her not wanting to sleep. Will keep you all updated as to how things progress. I am definitely feeling more positive now.

I've used different tactics with all of the DG's including the walking with the pushchair, following the parents instructions.
I'm older now, have less energy and do it my own way with the latest, aged 2.
I read a short story on my bed, put her in the travel cot, curtains closed, door pulled to and I go downstairs. She always tries it on, calls for me and throws her dummy out of the cot. I go in and settle her by saying, it's sleep time now for you and for Nana, but keep it very brief. It usually works, sometimes have had to do it 3 or 4 times.
Her parents spend hours staying in the room till she's asleep, but not me.
I couldn't give them advice unless of course they asked me for it, it's made clear, in a nice way, it's not wanted. I think I was the same with my mum if I'm honest.

My best wishes Nannyliz, I just couldn't do without that hour and a half of peace after lunch.

GS2 went through a spell of screaming himself to sleep when he was about a year old. He would scream for about 5 minutes and then fall asleep as if pole axed! Since he was two he has refused to have a daytime nap at home even if he's too exhausted to eat. At my house he curls up happily on the sofa for a nap after lunch. DD gets so cross

I had to babysit one evening last week. I put him to bed and we read some books, then I told him it was time to go to sleep while he assured me that he wouldn't. When I went into the bedroom five minutes later he was fast asleep. DD has to put up with lots of dramatic "Don't leave me all on my own Mummy !!!"

Sleep Scotland use this book;

www.amazon.co.uk/Good-Sleep-Guide-Your-Baby/dp/1903458358/ref=pd_sim_14_5/280-2315301-5009719?ie=UTF8&dpID=51TAZ2QCJNL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL160_SR114%2C160_&refRID=0SS5PJ2K5070KCCC85T0

Being able to " self settle" is a skill which needs to be learned.

Nannyliz you will not be able to sort out your GD completely and certainly not in a 'oner' but you may well be able to show her that your house rules are different and little as she is she will understand.
It certainly sounds like she has her parents on a string and will also have you exactly where she wants you if you don't decide for yourselves how it is actually going to be in your own home.
I would not stay with a child to get them to go to sleep and would always assume that when one says that it is time for a sleep then that is what is going to happen.
Ten minutes crying seems very much longer than it is but having 'tried you out' a few times and discovering that it doesn't work in Nanny's house she will settle ever more easily each time. She may well get hot and bothered with her crying so just take a cool damp face cloth and give her face, back of the neck and hands a gentle wipe over and try again, explaining to her that she is there to have a sleep. If you need to do this again just make sure not to speak to her the second and following times because you have already explained that she is there to sleep.
Again, if she gets out of bed just treat her in the same way by explaining the first time and just gently putting her back in bed and leave the room again. It is tough but well worth the effort.
Since she has had her own way for all her life to date this might well take a bit of time but do not be discouraged. We had to this with a little niece 16 times on the first occasion but we never had to do it as often on the second occasion and it became ever easier. Important not to lose patience and keep your speaking tone gentle, quiet and low even whispering.
When sleep time is over then you can say encouraging things as in "because we have had a sleep we can do xyz now" so that it can be seen as a rewarding thing to do.
As for her parents "being fine with it" I would suggest that they may well be inured to it rather than fine with it and if you can get some semblance of routine going they could be trying out whatever you have succeeded with. I wish you well and will be interested to hear how it goes.

Granarchist there's loads of new modern ideas that are great but I think some of the old ways still work. I drive my daughters nuts when they say one of the children wouldn't sleep or kept getting up in the night and I can truthfully say, not at our house they don't .

I'm convinced routine is the thing. We do similar stuff when they come , we eat similar things at the time they expect and I can truthfully say they seem to love it.

Right down to not changing the cupboard the biscuit tin is kept in

I think you're so right .

Sounds like my DGS2. I rather feel my DD has made a rod for her own back by always feeding him to sleep and wearing him in a sling when he not playing. She has never tried to get him to sleep by himself.

DDs attitude is "he will feel lonely."

loopy I breastfed ds2 as well, but he was always put into his cot awake whenever possible. I did also give him 1 bottle of formula a day, usually around 6pm, from the age of about 2 weeks.

(Plus lifting him and giving him a sneaky asleep breast top up when I went to bed, really helped to sleep that bit longer)

Children and babies are all so different aren't they? My three daughters settled to sleep easily and with no fuss, but my fourth child was well over a year before he ever once slept through the night. His younger brother was breast fed until he was fifteen months old and usually fell asleep during his last feed of the day. My daughter is currently having a terrible time trying to get her baby into a good sleep routine, she had nearly achieved it and then the little one got a fever and having been unwell for a few days they're now back to square one.

When I was settling the DGDs for a day-time nap I would put them in the cot, make them comfy and then tell then I would be 'doing some jobs upstairs', that way they knew (even when they were quite young) that I wasn't far away although they couldn't see me. They usually settled down for a nap fairly quickly, although once or twice I got caught out when trying to creep back downstairs to see DGD2 beaming at me from the end of the cot, having hauled herself up by the bars, reached over and opened the door

I did that with dd phoenix, and she didn't sleep through the night until she was 25 months old either ?, a couple of weeks before DS was born.
DS was a doddle in comparison, slept through the night at 6 weeks old, bottle fed from 7 weeks and always happy to go in his cot.

nanaandgrampy I so like your style. That is exactly what I did with my DDs and luckily they have done it with DGC - so wherever they go to bed (tonight its with us as we are babysitting) they just put them down and to sleep they go. They were utterly consistent when the babies were tiny and now they are reaping the benefits. It was hard with both DDs with their first babies but they stuck with it. All four children now can be taken out to supper if they go to friends and will just go to sleep. Agony to start with but system is the one that always works and the sooner parents start it the better. The oldest is now 4 and the youngest 18 months.

DD1 was like this; when put in her cot she would cry for 5 or 10 minutes until she fell asleep however tired she was.
My DM said that some children need 'to get over a hump' before they can sleep; even when she was older she used to do 'acrobatics' on her bed (we'd hear thump, crash, bump from upstairs!) until she could fall asleep.
As long as they are clean, well-fed and safe I see no reason why she shouldn't be left for a short time to cry herself to sleep, but if any longer than 5 or 10 minutes then I knew something was wrong.