Gransnet forums

Ask a gran


(8 Posts)
Sugarpufffairy Mon 22-Feb-16 19:49:21

I have been suspicious a few times that someone is shoplifting. I know that he person in question was not brought up to think any form of theft was OK. There have been times when I was paying the tea and cakes bill and I have seen that something over and above what was ordered was taken. There was a time I was buying in a supermarket and I was putting things up to be charged when I noticed that some other items were under the pile of bags on the trolley. I had no problem about paying for all the shopping.Sometimes I pay for others' shopping to be kind to them. There have been things consumed while in the aisles of the shop and the wrapper disposed of. Previously when a buggy was in use the hood was used to hide items while other items were being paid for.
I realise that I should stop going into shops with this person and also other people that I am concerned about. However I am concerned that this person (or any of the other people who may also be doing this) are caught for shoplifting. Obviously I do not want to be implicated or even present if this was to happen.
These are not youngsters, they are mothers with a number of school children between them. I don't know whether to speak to them and risk being called "confused" at best or whether to attempt to protect myself by never going near any shops with them. I am too nervous to cope with all of this.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I hate to think what this would do to me if it all came out.

etheltbags1 Mon 22-Feb-16 19:52:06

I too would be horrified to be seen with a shoplifter. Leave these people and find new friends, don't shop with them/her/him again.

Elrel Mon 22-Feb-16 20:25:06

Difficult situation. You could alienate them for ever by a loud 'You forgot this' waving an empty wrapper or revealing the things under the bags in the trolley. I'm wondering whether you know them socially or professionally. I hope they're not relatives.
Change your shopping habits or times if you can. Perhaps stop paying the tea and cakes bill. Is your kindness being taken advantage of?
It almost sounds, as more than one is involved, like a gang of teenage girls shoplifting for fun to impress each other or see what they can get away with.
I do hope you can distance yourself from this upsetting situation.

petra Mon 22-Feb-16 20:57:35

They probably know that they won't be arrested if the amount is under £25.
This came in some time ago, it takes up too much police time.

tanith Mon 22-Feb-16 21:02:15

Just don't put yourself in the position of being with them in a shop again, I wouldn't want to take the risk of being implicated.

Ana Mon 22-Feb-16 21:03:40

I thought it was £75. They can obviously still be challenged and 'shamed' instore, but are not likely to be charged by the police unless they're known to be habitual offenders.

Sugarpufffairy Mon 22-Feb-16 21:07:49

Ethelbags - thank you for replying. I will have to avoid these people in the future. However see the next paragraph
Elred - Thank you for replying. Unfortunately it is the worst case scenario. It is a close relative and their other side relative. They are not the kind of people that I would speak up to. They are not afraid to let rip at full blast which would be even more embarrassing. As soon as I read the bit about teenage girls. They are not teenagers, more like 25 to 30. I dithered all the way out the shop to keep a distance between them and me.
I also have other worries about what all is going on in this circle. There are things I can never talk about because I was the only one who was present at the time.
It is not going to be easy or pleasant but I think the only thing to do is put a lot of distance in a lot of ways between me and them.

Stansgran Mon 22-Feb-16 21:08:49

I think shoplifting is taken lightly nowadays. I feel an old fogey saying this but last week the check out girl in M&S omitted something on my bill. I was walking out slowly checking the till receipt when I realised an item (£5) was missing. I went back and eventually found someone who could do something. She laughingly said you would have been better shoplifting it. She couldn't see why I protested. I said would that not have triggered a problem for the girl at the till. A shrug and a laugh. She could not see that I felt unhappy to be thought of as someone who could be dishonest. My good name and all that.