Children at weddings, Yes or No?

Hello princesspamma-wonder what you find of interest on here then if you're neither a mother nor grandmother as it seems to be mostly family related? I do realise there are other threads too. . . ..

We are odd in excluding children from key family occasions. Marriage is after all about creating a family unit. Some weddings have become such perfomances, all show and no heart!

Whilst it is of course up the bride and groom to invite whoever they want I think it is a sad reflection of society that children of the family are not valued enough to be asked to participate in this family occasion.

I think it is probably ok to take older children around 8 years and older but I do think very young babies or small children should not go have been to quite a few weddings where the babies cry a lot and the little ones just run around the dance floor and can get knocked about a bit.When I was young some of my Aunts and Uncles that got married would not have young children so my older Sister looked after Me and my brother.Though I did find out our younger cousins went which really annoyed me. It's very difficult I know but it's the bride and grooms day and it's really down to them.

Depends on the wedding - one thing I do know - someone is bound to take umbrage! It's the bride and groom's choice. My daughter and son in law chose not to have children at their wedding because they would have taken up places which they would rather their friends filled. Children are not particularly interested in weddings, but they did have the children who were bridesmaids and pageboys. They were vindicated, because the page boys rushed around and were a damned nuisance (I think the parents should have controlled them). Lots of young guests were relieved that they could have a night out together and not have to go back for or to their children. On the other hand, if it's a fairly informal do with lots of outdoors to be enjoyed, have a separate party for the children with a registered childminder or two to organise it. Or even a separate room would do.

I just like children and they should be included in any social occasion.They make my day.I bet the bride and groom will soon change their minds when they have their own children.

I have attended two weddings recently one the children were allowed and the other only the bride's niece I've got to say both were nice in their own way the wedding with children had a lovely family atmosphere but on the other hand the adults only affair was very sophisticated and relaxing for everyone including many parents who had arranged sitters and were having a whale of a time child free .

My own DD has three young children, 6, 3 and 2 years old, and her brother-in-law and his partner are marrying this summer. They have said the same thing - no children, which is causing all sorts of problems with babysitting. My DD's MiL would normally stay over, but, as mother of the groom she will be at the wedding. I am unable to help because we are a long way away and, apart from the boat, have no personal transport and it would take forever and a day with public transport. The problem has been solved by a very good friend of my daughter who is having the children at her home for a sleepover with her own little ones. My DD feels disappointed that they cannot go as a family, but worse still is that her eldest child now feels that his beloved aunt and uncle do not want him! All three children had a wonderful time at their parent's wedding two years ago. They behaved impeccably - and were, of course, much younger then.

So agree with what you have said here we have had 2 daughters weddings children at both wonderful day children no trouble every one happy !! Lots of very happy memories .

Of course it's a matter of choice for the bride and groom. However, the nicest weddings I've attended have included children. My five GC came to my niece's wedding seven years ago. Senior GD, then 17, was a grown-up bridesmaid and GD2, 6, was a little bridesmaid who enjoyed every minute. The youngest was 7 months old; he never once complained and, during the disco, bounced up and down in his buggy in perfect time to the music. The bride loves children and now has three of her own.

Children are the next generation of any family and of course should be included in any family celebration. My daughters and OH's cousin were bridesmaids at our wedding and the Italian restaurant where we had our wedding breakfast didn't have any problem with laying on a kids' menu for them. Wouldn't have had it any other way.

We do not have children. We do not like children. There were only a few children in our families when we got married, and we had nothing to do with them. We excluded children. Our wedding, our rules.

We had lots of children at both DS and DD's weddings. They, and we, had a great time. One lasting memory at DD's wedding was when we suddenly missed most of the children. Then we heard the giggling. They were under a table, hidden by a floor length tablecloth, with a huge tub of flying saucers - having a great time and socially engaging with children they had never met before. I was just glad I didn't have to take them home with their sugar rush! They hopefully burnt it off at the Ceilidh.

We had a 'no children' wedding 30 years ago. We're both from small families and were the first of our generation to get married, so there were no nieces, nephews or grandchildren (or step-families) to invite. Our families are widespread and my DH's family don't keep in touch much. We could have 50 guests and wanted to share our day with people we knew, so we said adults only would be invited. Cost would have been a problem for some of the families who would be travelling long distances, so this solved that problem. Our special day was spent with the family and friends who meant the most to us - us being me, my DH, my Mum, Dad and FiL.

Too many touchy people these days IMO. And of course ALL children these days are the Centre of the Universe

It is their wedding, their choice. People should notbe so touchy but they are. Extremely so in some cases. Not worth risking a fallout.

Their wedding, their choice. People should not be so touchy and take issue with this, after all it's their day.

He'll be upsetting a lot of people and won't realise it until the wedding is over. Not inviting the family children will cause big problems

My DIL was invited to her cousins wedding who said no children so she didn't go to the wedding but attended the reception in the evening, we looked after dgc overnight she was annoyed as was my son but was not going to cause a row about it as she has a rather large family who she's really close to but she made her point.

Weddings are important Celebrations linking families etc. There is much to be considered as it can be a busy and long day - evening. I think it is nice to have children as they are part of the family. Obviously the part/ s the children have in the Celebrations need to be considered, both as part of the Event, and from the child's point of view. As the children still need to be Cared for, know what is expected of them and of course have suitable refreshments, toilet breaks, activities etc.

It is the Bride and Groom who are having the Event and Celebration. So obviously they should be Respected as to their wishes, preferences etc. Probably they are in need of much support at such a busy, stressful and exciting time in their life. Remamber it is meant to be a Happy Time of Celebration, not a time to be concerned about the numerous aspects of such an occasion. Enjoy! And create Happy Memories.

My own daughters wedding in a small registry office was spoilt by a crying toddler.I have attended church weddings where the service was interrupted by the same.
As a mum,I would have never been offended to get a wedding invite which excluded my children,the bride and groom should feel free to invite adults only if that is their wish.
A good compromise would be,no children under a certain age at the service but let them have their fun at the reception,then maybe 7pm,take them home and let the adults have their evening.
A wedding is the bride and grooms special day,and they should be free to plan it without needing to consider which of their ADULT friends and relatives may be offended.

I just love children at weddings. But it should be truly the couple's choice, surely. It is their big day and nobody elses- even if the parents help with finances.
I was asked to organise both daughter's weddings- but I did everything to THEIR specifications and desires, not mine.

I think it should be the choice of the couple getting married. It's their day after all. Some people like adult only dos. There are various reasons why people choose not to have children at their wedding. I did a wedding creche for some friends a few years ago, where I brought lots of things to do whilst the speeches/boring bits went on and that worked well for all concerned. There are companies that do that as a business - but again it's a cost.
What people have to remember is what YOU like and wanted for your wedding isn't necessarily what your children/grandchildren like/want. Each couple has the choice to have their day, their way, whether other people agree or not. If people care about the couple and sharing that day, they should respect their choices.

My DS and DDiL specified no children under the age of twelve at their wedding, but children were invited to the evening 'do'.
It seemed a good solution, the children got to dance and enjoy the party, but the wedding itself was peaceful and serene!

I spent my youngest daughter's wedding buffet on my feet chasing her 18 month old around. Said GD ran faster than I did and could reach the lift buttons so I had to keep her in sight at all times. It was stressful and I missed half the speeches and most of the meal.

My niece is getting married in August and has said 'no children' . However there will be a big party for children and their parents a week later at which there will be a ceremony in their wedding gear. I am really looking forward to it, especially since I had to opt out of the 'real' wedding as it is too far away for me to get to. This seems a good compromise to me bringing all the grandchildren together at a child friendly venue.

My son is marrying his long-time fiancée this summer. Their two little daughters (6 and 3) will be bridesmaids. My other grandchildren are invited and the bride's young cousins, but not friends' children. This is because of cost and it is exactly what has happened at all their friends' weddings. The rule seems to be family children only.