What is a 'typical ' boy?

I've been a member of GN since the very early days and there are a number of patterns repeated. Here's one - a member who presents as a male starts to push the boundaries, posting sexist or insensitive comments on multiple threads until he gets a post or two deleted. Then he announces he is leaving (instead of going off quietly) but plays the victim for a day or so, garnering a bit of sympathy from a sub-set of members, before finally disappearing, leaving a few disgruntled members in his wake. Getting really boring. No idea whether it is the same person or whether it's a common pattern in a particular kind of older man.
Most active members get a post or two deleted at some stage but most of us accept we have overstepped the mark in some way and shrug it off in private. Others presumably go off in a low-profile huff, never to heard of again.
There are probably some charming grandfathers on this forum but I never seem to meet them. Pity.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I have no intention of forcing people off this forum. I will challenge attitudes and opinions I find offensive or ill informed but unless someone is actually breaking the law in what they say (incitement etc) they are entitled to express an opinion much as I might dislike it!
If bye-laws (GNHQ guidelines in this case) are contravened then that will bring other consequences but that is not my responsibility.
Unless 'banned' staying or leaving a forum is an individual choice, I won't engage in either encouraging someone to leave nor the placatory 'please stay' groups. We are all adults and need to make our own choices/ take responsibility for our own actions.

As I said , I see nothing to gloat about and I very much doubt Penstemmon would ally herself with your sentiments.

[Grin] Penstemmon and I are a force to be reckoned with, what a team, cross us at your peril.

You sound proud of yourself dicky, not an attitude I, for one, share.

GandTea has the right to make his own decisions and nobody forces anybody to do anything on GN unless they are so in breach of the guidelines that GNHQ terminate their membership.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

It is your choice. Nobody is forcing that decision G&T.

GNHQ have not explained how my post broke any rules and will not re-instate it. I have been out all day, it would seem that there have been some comments about me that have been deleted, but the damage to my character has been done, as they say mud sticks.

As it appears that I will not be given the right to defend myself (even a rapist gets that right) I will be leaving.

Many undiagnosed Asperger boys are quiet, geeky and don't like football. "Gay" is a general insult these days for anyone who is a bit different.

Gay and in possession of some serious state secrets (possibly) - but we will never know what happened in the final months of Turing's life.
I remember once, Matthew Parrish on R4 - interviewer asked him something to the effect - was there a little bit of homosexual behaviour going on in Westminster - to which he responded that there was not a little - there was a lot.
Many young men were introduced to homosexual behaviour in England's public school system...
I think the difference between the Arts and other walks of life is that it has long been more acceptable to be openly gay in the Arts and taboo in other walks of life. Think of John Brown who used to run BP who did not 'come out' i seem to recall until after he left that job.

TriciaF I am not sure that being gay is a choice any more than the colour of your eyes is a choice! I do think young people will experiment with sex and that for some will include sex with same sex partners but if you are not gay/bi it will not 'turn you' gay & just as many gay men/women will also have sex with opposite sex partners will decide it is not right for them!
It does not seem surprising that there are apparently more gay men in the arts..it is generally a less macho world and so it may have felt a safer place to express yourself than the building/ engineering / sports etc industries. Having spent some time at Bletchley Park this weekend and reading more about Alan Turing there and the sad and tragic end to such a clever man purely because he was gay was very sobering. Sadly lives are still being lost because of intolerance.

Has GandTea heard yet why his posts were deleted. Or has that been established now?

I think so many men in the theatrical scene are gay because it is one of the few areas where you can openly be gay without abuse. Do people honestly believe that that there are no men in the premier league who are gay? Off course there are, but it is still not seen as acceptable to come out.

A small PS to say that an earlier post of mine has been deleted - not because it was bad, but because it repeated something. Just saying, in case anyone thinks I have been abusive. (I can't actually remember what it said)

A man I used to know reckoned that most boys go through a period of gender confusion when they reach puberty. Then they could go either way, depending on the people they happen to meet.
I'm not sure all men would agree with that though, or whether it applies to girls too.

Here is an interesting discussion. "Why are so many guys in the U.S. theater scene gay?"

www.quora.com/Why-are-so-many-guys-in-the-U-S-theater-scene-gay

Elegran I will ask the gay men I know what they think re 'camp' behaviours as I do not know enough to put forward an informed opinion.
ffin maybe I do not fully understand what others mean by 'putting in a box'.

But what about a serious discussion without sniggering about why it is necessary for SOME gay people to overdo the display of the characteristics of one sex or other (or what is assumed to be their characteristics)?

Is it because they were discouraged as young children from showing any of those characteristics, so they go th whole hog when they are free to? That takes us back to the OP. If a wider range of behaviours were accepted and not commented on by nosy neighbours and "friends", would children develop their own innate sexuality without being extremely camp or butch?

(Using "they" is really unavoidable when you are talking about one section of the population. I know that there are many variations of individuals under that banner, but it gets tedious to use a long-winded description every time. )

Crossed posts, ffinn. I agree about innuendo not being useful. Unfortunately, people being people, I think a certain amount is inevitable.

I don't like casual sexism either way, pen, but I think ignoring it with dignity such as Nadiya Hussain talks about with regard to the casual racism she's been subject to is the best approach. Others won't agree probably but I think that behaving as if unaffected by such stuff is a good approach, and probably more effective in the long run.

I don't consider intervention and 'putting in boxes' one and the same thing, Penstemmon.

I don't like casual sexism either; had my fill of that. Agree we're sexual animals, B, and of it's usefulness, but don't find nudge, nudge, wink, wink suggestive comments useful.

thatbags the women in question had just won gold medals. There were other attributes that deserved comment not just about their physical appeal. In personal contexts of course people admire physical attributes. I am talking casual sexism.
I agree re women commenting on men in that way too!!

Well said hopeful1