What is a 'typical ' boy?

I don't think sexual comments about women's sexual appeal are any more inappropriate than ones about men's sexual appeal, a good number of which I've seen on Gransnet. We are sexual animals. Sexual appeal actually does matter. It evolved because it's useful.

Uh oh. Another rash of HQ Sunday Delete Finger.

Keep arguing, elegran. How about we lobby HQ to reinstate the posts you're defending?

That is exactly why I find it wrong! I am no prude but I do find the casual comments about women's sexual appeal inappropriate and the snigger snigger attitude towards gay/camp people as 'uncomfortable' as watching a couple (any combo!) smooching and groping away in public! They use of 'they' when referring to a minority group is often (not always) making a sweeping stereotypical generalisation. I find that lazy/ignorant!

He was very critical of G&T, without reading either of his posts. I did not report his posts, but HQ clearly did not appreciate them.

I don't like casual sexism either, but I differentiate between risque joshing between old friends and the over-familar tone sometimes adopted on here by new male posters towards the mainly female members. It reminds me of girls being hit on in pubs by complete strangers.

Is it putting a child 'in a box' if a parent considers the possibility they may be gay/have autism/be deaf/have poor eyesight? None of those four situations are 'faults' they are part of that child and may need specific help /support to enable the child to grow and develop with confidence and each potential. We are happier to acknowledge the latter two need intervention but often not the former. Society has prejudices and hang ups that hinder children getting specific help.

Just to say I did not see either of Dickies deleted posts.

Soop I am basing it on his sexist remarks. I do not like sexism or people who espouse it and then get huffy if their attitude is challenged. I do not find casual sexism amusing!

And rephrased and enlarged on his deleted post in a later one, being careful NOT to say "dislike" certain behaviour, but to say "made me feel uncomfortable" and to explain why. That too was deleted, which is what I feel is unfair.

Dickie has expressed what will appear to many who didn't read either post - that it must have been a very bad homophobic attack because it was deleted. That has escalated into treating a mild degree of discomfort into a full-on abusive rant - which would not be the case if the later post had stayed. A sledgehammer to crack a peanut.

I rarely venture out of the kitchen for fear of putting my foot into something nasty.
However, I wish to say that G&T has always behaved decently when in the company of us lot in the kitchen. He has a warm sense of humour that is welcome and appreciated. Penstemmon I find your assessment of G&T to be unkind and unwarranted.

He sounds a lovely little boy. Labels are my biggest bugbear, no one has the right to "put people in boxes".

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Single mothers were once "fallen women", but single fathers were just sowing their wild oats. Men who frequented brothels were fulfilling a basic urge, while the women who serviced them were sluts. Things gradually change but many people still find these situations uncomfortable.

Men-on-men and women-on-women sex has to go through the same journey as women's sexuality has. There will be real equality, yes, but you don't get that by condemning those who honestly admit that they are not quite comfortable with it yet - without being abusive. That is abusive of yet another group of people.

When you have a gay family member you see the prejudice thrown at them, both intended and casual homophobia. It doesn't make you sensitive but it does make you aware.

Maybe another reason is that there are probably several people on here with a gay person in the family, who are very sensitive about the subject.

Kids come in all shapes sizes orientation leave them all alone to find their own feet I have a 15 year old grandson who is very physical totally blokey into sport always got a harem of girls around him but he s so comfortable in his own skin he's the boy that doesn't care about borrowing his sisters pink surfboard doesn't care if someone wants to paint his nails or put his hair up in a ponytail is comfortable brushing the girls hair when they come out of the sea His sister is entirely opposite is quiet and shy and gets embarrassed about everything she ll never make the first move, they will both find their levels as they progress in life he will settle down she will rev up I m sure just got to let them find their niche

Elegran, homosexual people are persecuted because of their sexuality in a way that heterosexual people are not. Its the same as sexism, you cannot compare sexism towards men and women in the same light. Also racism is not the same if it is directed at a white person. This video explains it well.

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dickie THAT is why the post enlarging on what he said should have stayed, and why the first one should never have been deleted. If a post is deleted it always looks as though it were a vicious attack. If it wasn't, then that poster is labelled forever.

If I were to post that I dislike seeing young people occupied in sexual activity on the street, would that be deleted? No.

I did say that I don't read the hot sexy passages added to novels to sell more copies - not because I disapprove of anyone having sex but because I don't care about reading the details. Was that deleted? No. If it had been, you would have posted "If it was innocent, why was it deleted? It must have been abusive."

Reputations are destroyed as easily as that.

no doubt because someone took the post the wrong way! Like you presuming something which isnt there!
Ive had posts deleted and when questioning hq all you get is that it goes against their guidelines with no explanation!

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well said Elegran!

have to say I dont understand why some posts get deleted yet others with the same content still remain!

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He sounds just like my son was when he was young. All his friends were very nerdy and into computers. None had girl friends until in their late teens. All married or with long term girlfriends now and in their mid thirties.

I read your post before it was deleted, and thought, "Good. That explains what you meant in the previous one, and puts your "attitude" into line with the one I had described in my post." It wasn't a tirade, it was a parallel account of how I skip the hot passion in novels and on TV. I don't rant about it and I don't condemn the lovers - I just ignore it as none of my business.

When I looked back later, your recent post was gone too. My post is still there. I tried to report it to HQ, asking why the two posts with the same reaction to different orientations received different treatment, but it failed to send - my computer then seized up and I was then unable to type anything at all! Is Big Brother controlling our every action?

Don't leave GN, G&T A sprinkle of salt is needed to bring out the flavour of a meal and GN could get insipid without you. The laws are rightly there to protect homosexuals from abuse, they are not there to subject people to intolerance and silence their self-defence.