What is a 'typical ' boy?

When a book I am reading inserts a long detailed description of a heterosexual bedding, I skip it and move on to the next bit of the story. (I have used the word "inserts" because these episodes have hardly anything to do with the plot or characters of the book. They are there purely so that the reader can think "Wow! This is hot stuff")

It is not because I am heterophobic, nor prudish. It is because I am not interested in reading exactly what they did, it is enough that know that it went well, and I am very happy for them. But they could just have disappeared up the stairs and then on the next page a new chapter begun.

So I am with G&T here. Homophobic my eye. Another superfluous use of disapproval, where none is needed because no disapproval of the homosexuals was involved.

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Jess, I wasn't trying got be funny, just what I observe.

Hello oldgoose, your dgs sounds so much like my son, he was quiet, polite and most of his friends were girls. He asked for a teaser when he was 3, so I bought him one. Some friends/family were horrified but that was what he wanted. He didn't much like sport, watching or playing it so I didn't push it. He is now independent and confident and has a girlfriend of 9 years. I don't like labelling children, they are what they are after all xx

LOL you do say some funny things GnT
Love the bit about the lesbians.

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Oh dear - I'm concerned that so many young men fear they may be accused of making a fashion statement if the pluck up the courage to confide the may be gay.
It's easier now to be more open about being gay or lesbian. However, the fact it may be easier than it was 50, 30 or even 20 years ago, doesn't mean it's easy or stress free.

I think children should simply grow up the way life takes them, if they like football etc, fine, if they like academic hobbies, fine. I hated football and all team-games, much preferred one/one sports, table tennis, tennis, cycling, judo.

I am concerned with the number of younger adults that declare themselves gay, it seem to me that his is sometimes a fashion statement. If being gay became the norm, the worlds population would soon drop.

yes, probably mid-length.

Although I think fashions come and go, so perhaps it is just that long hair is more fashionable again now, not princessy! (DGD1 has very long hair and is not a bit princessy, would be aghast if anyone bought her a 'princess' t shirt).

Jess they are really hot on it and pull it every time. but this is the way kids talk. Particularly when they hear their parents use it as a slur. Gender roles are more enforced than ever, anyone would almost think there was a reason for it.

Girls, jemima, girls.
I'm casting my mind back to hairstyles of distant decades. In the 50s some had long hair and some didn't. In my secondary school photo, 1960s most had shorter styles.

Do you mean long hair for boys and girls or just girls JessM?

When I was young most girls had long hair, in pigtails, then pony tails. DGD have long hair (in plaits for school or pony tails when the weather is hot and sometimes loose).

There may be JaxKerr. Gay or lesbian people do sometimes find ways to have children, Elton John and David Furnish used surrogates, lesbian women often ask a male friend to be a sperm doner. Adoption is another possibility. But, I do take your point so not meaning to post in a picky way. The other issue is that growing up is a challenge for all of us, add being lesbian/gay/etc to that and it seems to me life will throw more challenges their way.

Its too easy to make sweeping judgements. We will love our grandchildren whatever. The only sad thing for me re a gay son or grandson is that there will be no child of the future. But that is to do with me not THEM

Totally agree

LumpySP schools are supposed to actively discourage homophobic name calling - or any other kind (i.e. sexist). Maybe you could tackle your school over it?
I agree gender stereotyping worse now in some ways. Clothes are much more gendered than they were in the 70s - every bloody T shirt is covered in hearts/princesses/sparkle/tanks/bulldozers/etc and long hair has become compulsory it seems.

The issue lies with adult expectations that children should behave 'typically' in the first place. Children should be free to do whatever keeps them happy, healthy and busy as long as no house(or school)rules are broken. The role of parents and other adults is to make each child feel safe, accepted and loved. Judging children or putting labels on them is what in and of itself sows problems because if a child is going to be gay, no amount of intervention is going to change that. Gay or straight, we raise the best kids when we love them unconditionally.

How sad that people feel the need to label yr grandson. He will be what he will be. We r all different to some degree. My son..now 40 never liked sports that much. He was quiet respectful never got into fights or trouble. Never even really play fights. He was also into computers but went on to get a good job in IT. He's not gay BUT if he was it would have made no difference to us. He actually sounds a lovely boy and in this day n age someone to be proud I'd as I'm sure you are. Try not to worry. x

Even at my daughter's school they use the term gay in a derogatory way, or girl, running like a girl, crying like a girl etc. Course, it's just banter but then isn't it always.

She points it out and is told she doesn't have a sense of humour, you can't win.

Spot on hicaz, but the pecking order is white, hetersexual male, everything else is seen as somewhat inferior.

Gender stereotyping is as bad now as it ever was, and it's stifling children. Your grandson sounds lovely, what he likes and dislikes as a young child will have nothing to with his sexuality. For what it's worth most of the gay people I know are just people, the men are not effeminate and the women are not butch. We must stop policing the gender borders and criticizing children when they step out of line.

Look at the term tomboy, there is no such thing as a tomboy, just girls who like to play football and climb trees, but a girl who does these things is told she has boy characteristics and is not quite a normal girl. It's harmful.

No, we are not all reacting like that, but the people mentioned in the OP are by the sounds of it.

You are all reacting as though calling him 'gay' is a bad thing. But then say if he was it's OK. Being gay should not be seen as a derogatory thing. This is how prejudices build up.

read quite child by susan caines