How long would you like to live?

my one dread is having a long debilitating illness where i loose my independence. I hope i carry on living for many years yet as i enjoy life so much and when the time comes i really hope i just go and do not end up in a hospital or confined to indoors for a long time reliant on others for everything. You hear such terrible stories these days of the care services and it is a worry. I worked with elderly people for many years and always thought about how i would have liked my mum to be treated or myself when dealing with them and i am sure many carers are the same but there is always the one who isn't!!!

In my experience it seems that people seem to know when they want to go and it is often only the medical professionals that are keeping them alive (I don't blame them for doing their job by the way!) Like most of us I think I will be happy to go when the quality of life deteriorates, regardless of actual age. As I am 70 next year I am considering a party while I can still dance the night away. Who knows I might have another when I am 80 though I think this is unlikely! I just hope that my body goes before my brain!

Crikey

I think it's worth mentioning that the article about living until age 115 does also say that people will still get the diseases and conditions associated with old age. We'll just have them for longer. Of course, there will be improvements in health care, but you get my point.

Sorry, I think in my head I put you and M0nica together
More than happy for you or anyone else to answer.

Yes, I agree, I dont think it makes much difference sometimes.

I know someone who died of something rare[ish] and the post mortem person? said that she was always destined to die of it at some point.

It didnt matter that she was hugely active, not overweight etc.

Your questions seem to be just for M0nica, obieone, so excuse me for butting in.

But I would like to say that sometimes it makes no blessed difference what you do. My parents could have answered yes to all your questions, and also went out walking every day, kept their minds ticking over, and were very happy and still in love after over 50 years together. It didn't stop my mum dying suddenly of a massive stroke at 73 (as had her mother before her, in her sixties), or my dad dying, again at 73, a fortnight after being diagnosed with cancer.

Though I suppose if they'd had an unhealthy lifestyle, they may have died even sooner, who knows?

Over this past year quite a few people I have known have died all of them 60/65 ish so it brings things into reality and makes you think of your own mortality much more I think,I have just passed 66 and both my parents died before they where 70 but my nanna lived until she was 96 and had been married 3 times.
I would like to see all my DCs & DGCs settled in their lives and be able to look after myself with no problems and not be a burden to anyone,so maybe another 20yrs would make me happy.

I'm putting little bags of marbles away, just so I can find them when I need them. Now, where did I hide that last bag ?

Soem sad stories on here.
Some of my family, the older living ones, are getting dementia.

MOnica. Out of interest, do you look after your health well? Eat a variety of things? Drink, smoke etc in moderation? Try to minimise stress? Are religious? etc etc. Not take more medicines than you have to?
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Or do you do none of that!

My experience is similar to the last two posts. My mother lived until she was 95 but the last few years were not happy ones.

When she was about 90, we discovered her in a collapsed state and dialled 999. Of course, we had to but it wasn't the right thing to do. That would have been the kindest time for her to die.

She had dementia and we had to sell her house to pay for her care but she wasn't very happy in the home.

I used to think that I would like to live as long as possible, but now my mum, at the age of 88, has severe dementia. She is clearly not happy and the results of a lifetime of hard work are now paying for eye watering nursing home fees. She doesn't know that she has just become a great grandmother and she no longer recognises anyone. I now think that I would prefer to die younger, rather than end up in such an undignified and unhappy position. But then, I'm only 60 and have so many things that I want to do with my life, so I intend to keep active and independent for as long as possible.

Only as long as I have all my marbles (or most of them) and am able now to look after myself.

I have seen far too much of dementia to want to live at all with that vile disease, or burden my children with the stress and worry of it. My mother died at 97 but TBH it would have been a lot kinder if she could have died several years previously. Despite very good care she had had zero quality of life for so long.

Agreed, definitely quality over quantity. And for the second part of your post, this is one of the reasons I live in Switzerland where I will have the choice, when the time comes.

I don't mind how long I live, rather that I can be reasonably fit and able to be independent till I fade off in my sleep with no pain or illness involved!!!

My grand-parents all lasted till early-mid 80's, parents late 80's ... mother still independent at 88 so might have a while to go yet.

Everyone is so positive about this. Unlike most posters so far, I would like to choose when to die, and this is regardless of the state of my health. If DH goes first, I doubt if I will want to carry on without him. We chose not to have children, so we have no grandchildren. I wouldn't 'leave' whilst my Mum is alive as it would break her heart. I do have other family and although we live in different parts of the country we are close. I just wish it was acceptable for a person to say they want to call it a day. I've thought this for many years, but I have only talked about it with a few people.

Odd, isn't it, what genes we are dealt? When my first grandson was born three years ago, he had a full complement of four great-grandparents plus a step great-grandma on his mum's side, even though she is the older of his parents. None at all on our side. The irony, and upside, is that we are all very healthy (till we drop down dead in our 60s and early 70s, that is ). My mother was one of nine, none of whom lived past their mid 70s. I'm hoping to buck the trend!

Depending on how you look at it, my future looks hopeful. DF was one of 11, all but three lived to their late 80s. Two, including DF, made it into their 90s and a third was only months away from his 90th birthday when he was killed in a road accident. Only one had dementia. The one survivor is 89, lives alone, is still driving and in excellent health, mentally and physically. My mother and her sister made it into their late 80s, although both had some (physical) health problems

So, at 73, with no health problems and on no medication, I am hopeful I will live a long time and in good health. My oldest grandchild is only 9, so it would be nice to see her and her brother through university and starting out in life. Although, as a family who for generations have married and had children late, I have no expectation of living to see any great grandchildren.

I would like to think, for as long as I have my health, However my brother gave up the will to live after his wife died and was happy to die and join her.

I'm 64 and really can't judge how long I'd like to live. I'm enjoying retirement and still waiting for 2 DS to leave home so I can downsize and start a new life. I'd like to see my 2 DGD grow up and see whether I have any more DGC. I guess another 20 years would be good if my health is reasonable. As I only gave up smoking 5 years ago and my mother died at 58, there's a risk there.

Charleygirl says it all really.

Old age doesn't run in my family but I have got through cancer and pneumonia in the last few years so would like to make it into my 80s....provided my mind hasn't gone. I don't want to be a burden to anyone. 115? Oh no thank you.

Some of my favorite "Carpe Diem" quotations

Too often too late comes too soon. ~Dr. SunWolf, 2015 tweet, professorsunwolf.com

Don't be fooled by the calendar. There are only as many days in the year as you make use of. ~Charles Richards

Live every day as if it were going to be your last; for one day you're sure to be right. ~Harry "Breaker" Harbord Moran (this is my favorite)

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. ~Elbert Hubbard

As you grow older, you'll find the only things you regret are the things you didn't do. ~Zachary Scott

We cannot waste time. We can only waste ourselves. ~George M. Adams

If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting? ~Stephen Levine

When it comes time to die, make sure all you got to do is die. ~Attributed to Jim Elliot

My mother died at 101 and 8months. I would say that for her that was about a year too long. She loved her 100th birthday and looked forward to her next but after that in a few weeks her best friend and her last SiL who were in the same residential home as her died and the heart went out of her. So I would like to live as long as I enjoyed life and had friends and family to share it with.

My family have pretty healthy lifestyles yet don't make old bones - my paternal grandma was very much the exception that proved the rule, living to her mid-90s and fit and well till the fall that killed her. So yes, I'd like to be like her. I'd love to see a great-grandchild or two! It seems more likely though that I won't get my money's worth out of that annuity My parents were both 73 when they died suddenly, and they both lived healthier lives than I do. My other three grandparents died in their 60s.