Toilets with children

There is something odd, as others have pointed out. Why did the man choose to go into the cubicle on his own, leaving the child to see men doing what they do, rather than letting her see him do the same thing? Also, how did the OP know that if her husband wouldn't go in.
Actually I've never understood why men need to use a urinal anyway. What's wrong with unisex, all cubicle loos? That's what happens at home, after all!

singeranne2017

I must say, I found it uncomfortable at first to have to use communal changing rooms at the local public swimming pools. I dislike having small children watching my every move. But that is how things are now and unfortunately you have to get used to it Suggest the youngsters use the loos as fast as possible. My husband felt a bloke propositioned him the other day in a restaurants' Gents - he got quite angry with him. Must happen all the time.

May I tell you a funny, true story? Some years ago I was on a coach tour of Italy. The coach stopped at a service station for us to use the loo. A crowd of women rushed to the loos only to find they were out of order. The attendant told us to use the mens. We dashed into the cubicles. However as we came out, the men from our coach were using the urinals. Can you imagine everyones embarrassment as we women slunk past, trying to cover our eyes. Those poor men were mortified.

I agree, Jalima. One of those 'light blue touch paper' threads?

There are problems in my mind with this OP and thread.

We don't know that the man left the child outside the cubicle, that's what the OP said, but hasn't come back to say how she managed to see this happen when neither she nor her husband went into the gents.

There is no way my son-in-law would ever take my two-year-old granddaughter into a men's toilet and leave her standing outside the cubicle while he went to the toilet! That's awful, he would have got the key to use the disabled toilet. She would have been at risk of someone snatching her. You hear some awful things on the news it would not be worth taking the risk.

Most problems are in adults minds. Why shouldn't a man take a female child into the gents pub or not. I always took my boys into the ladies. It seems some people just want to make a fuss out of nothing

The followup of the OP is a bit odd... why would she know that the father left the girl outside the cubicle whilst he used it himself?

I would have thought he'd done his business, too...perhaps keeping daughter behind him out of the 'line of fire' but inside the cubicle. But how would the OP know that...did she ask another pub-goer what went on in there?

I expect he wouldnt send the little girl into the ladies on her own, she may have needed help in the toilet, he had no choice I am thinking.

For goodness sake don't take your DGDs to France and Italy then. It's quite normal there for the gents urinals to be on the outside wall of public loos, so that you have to walk past a row of weeing men to get to the door of the ladies loos...
Last time we camped at a large site in northern Italy, the loos were near to the large outdoor swimming pool, so a good view was had by all...!!

Sorry but disagree with most posters. I wouldn't like my little grand daughter going in the men's loos - especially in the pub. Apart from anything else they usually smell horrible as you walk past, never mind when you go in. A male friend also told me an awful lot of men don't wash their hands and he used to see one bloke in his local who wiped his hands on a the roller towel without even washing them. It's different if you are in say a nice café with unisex toilet - they usually keep them nice and clean and fresh smelling.

Having been to France (and other mainland European countries) with DSx2 DDx1 DH and I have had to take them into various public conveniences. honestly do not think they took a blind bit of notice, more interested in not having an 'accident'. DH and I take DGS's into the nearest available toilet be that men's or ladies in pub/restaurant or park.

No, I don't think you are too sensitive. Usually though there is no reason to feel worried because there are always cubicles for little girls to go in to. When she is older she can safely use a ladies loo. Hand over eyes until she is inside?

Swimming pools are a real pain too. What to do with child that needs to shower and use the loo?

This highlights the need for unisex loos. They work well in other countries and I've come across a few in the UK.

Let's face the realities of this situation, if a child needs the loo you take them. A responsible father would discretely use the cubicle, girls don't usually use urinals, it shouldn't be a problem. Men are not welcome in the ladies, Hoorah for baby changing in the Men's loo!

Most other cultures don't have segregated facilities. Some local clubs have unisex toilets too.... roll on, I don't have seperate toilets at home. We all use the equivalent of a cubicle - I.e. A closed door - why not when we are out too??

What is a Dad to do if his daughter needs the loo? I suppose he could hang around outside the ladies & ask a nice grandma type to take her in but I don't see the problem TBH.

A lotof the Cafes, bars and restaurants here have just one toilet with cubicles with male or female on them,in fact in one of the main meeting rooms in the Town hall on the Grand Place there are just 3 shared toilet cubicles. No one bats an eyelid, it is just the way things are.

I am dismayed by some of the dismissive comments on this post. We all have different experiences and reasons for the way we feel about issues. It has (Almost) put me off belonging to Gransnet. Maybe I should 'get a life'!

Question: am I being too sensitive etc
Answer: yes

We can only try and safeguard children, boys and girls if we use commonsense and follow our own code. I wouldn't let any child go to a public toilet alone. I didn't when my own were little either and they are both over 25. It's not a new thing, children have always been targeted by certain people.

Well to those saying it's not acceptable what would they rather see the child stand and wet her knickers or give the child to a stranger to take in ummmm
I see nothing wrong at all we are far to hung up on these matters the sooner a kid learns we all need to wee albeit in different ways the more rounded and less embarrassed they will be as they get older it's something we all do
As you weren't in there and as your husband was too embarrassed to go in how on earth do you know that he left the child to have a wee himself
Boys of 8 do need to go in the gents having said that we always used to stand outside the door and yell in if he was too long haha ( the first few times )
I have used male toilets if they are empty and the ladies have a queue why not ?

I suppose it depends on what the toilets are like. Most pub/resturant ones I know are single anyway. If it's an old-fashioned urinal with men all peeing in a row, I would think this could be rather confusing for a little girl and, I guess, the presence of a small girl child could also upset some men. If I remember correctly, my father used to ask a kindly-looking lady to take me to the Ladies - but that was the 1950s!

Got to agree with Ana how on earth would you know the child had been left alone whilst the father went back into the cubicle you are reading far too much into the innocent situation