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I've turned into a scary cat

(65 Posts)
TriciaF Sun 15-Jan-17 13:40:40

I sympathise,morethan2
Husband has just reminded me that our UK tax return online has to be in before the end of Jan. and my heart dropped to my boots (well, slippers.) but it's not new with me.
Before you do anything else - get out all the relevant papers. Then leave it for a while.
The longer you put it off, the bigger problem it will be.
Are you on your own?

Greyduster Sun 15-Jan-17 13:38:14

Could you make a copy the form and have a trial run? Sometimes I've done that and it gives you a bit of room to manoeuvre.

Lyndylou Sun 15-Jan-17 13:36:03

I'm terrible with forms and I've had various admin roles all my working life. I also go with the eating the elephant one slice at a time approach. I've presently got a pension form from a company I worked for 5-10 years ago, just a modest once off sum, but for some reason they want all the details of my other 2 pension sums (also very modest) which has meant me tracing down bits of paper from 5 years ago. So I spent half an hour each day for a week sorting out old papers. It's been a good clear out exercise. Now I feel confident I have everything I need I have booked a day of work while DP is out of house to fill it in. It's essential for me to do anything to do with money, (more than the daily online bank check) I must be alone, no idea why.

I think you will find lots of people have similar fears about forms, something to do with the officialness of it all. Take it slowly and ask for help if you need to.

travelsafar Sun 15-Jan-17 13:33:37

There is so much red tape attached to everything these days that it makes everyhting more complicated and scarey!!! In the past you could ring up and chat to someone really easily if you had a querie, now it is such a mission and if you mishear the menu Oh my God that doesnt even bear thinking about!!! I feel for you with your form i know i would be the same. Good luck and maybe try the Citizen Advise they are so good.

KatyK Sun 15-Jan-17 13:29:22

Sometimes, if I've been through some awful life stuff and got through it (major things, I mean) then I come to do something which should be relatively simple, I go to pieces. I think it's a build up of stress. Some good suggestions above.

sunseeker Sun 15-Jan-17 13:24:44

Have you tried the CAB - they are very good at helping with forms.

janeainsworth Sun 15-Jan-17 13:12:41

I think when you have so much going on in your life as you have at the moment morethan it can sap your confidence and make you feel fearful of things that you would normally take in your stride.
Could you ask a friend to come round and help you with it? Sometimes such forms seem quite ambiguous and two heads are better than one.
Not sure if you mean a State pension form or a private one but usually there's a helpline. I would ring them up and ask them about anything I wasn't sure of - that's what they're there for.
Good luck.

Jalima Sun 15-Jan-17 13:06:57

First slice of the elephant:
Fill it in in pencil and make sure it's OK, then go over it in ink (you can rub the pencil out).

Copy and save all the paperwork. My mistake - I had something difficult to sort out before Christmas, got a satisfactory result and shredded the paperwork. Now something similar has happened and I don't have the previous notes to refer back to.

Christinefrance Sun 15-Jan-17 13:05:20

Is there anyone who can help you go through the form morethan2, just to ensure you are reading the questions correctly. I tend to rush at things like that and consequently make mistakes. Ensure you have plenty of time and read the whole form before filling anything in.
Worrying about things is worse than actually doing them. Go for it and as Ankers said give yourself a treat when it's done. Just don't get cream cake or wine on the forms. cupcakewine

durhamjen Sun 15-Jan-17 12:53:27

And I can't spell attempts, either - all the right letters but not necessarily in the right order.

durhamjen Sun 15-Jan-17 12:52:26

Wouldn't a scary cat be able to cope in this situation?
I think you mean scaredy cat.

However, I have had three attepmts at trying to change my car insurance this morning. I am sure they want to know more than they used to!

Ankers Sun 15-Jan-17 12:39:45

Sorry, my first line is not at all helpful. I was thinking aloud blush

Anya Sun 15-Jan-17 12:39:16

Oh dear, not good.

How about you just tackle a bit at a time. Taking it slow and easy so you don't make any mistakes.

Read it through first, all the way. Then give yourself a challenge to fill in (just as an example) the first 3 questions. They go and do something much more interesting.

My motto.....Eat Your Elephant a Slice at a Time brew

Ankers Sun 15-Jan-17 12:36:17

Crumbs. I hope I dont become like this.
As I get older, I have found that things like forms and difficult phone callse, get put to the bottom of my to do list until I have to tackle them.

So I dont know what is going on either.
I hope you can be enlightened.

What I have found helpful is to do all the difficult things I have been putting off all in one day, and then having a takeaway!

I figured that I may as well have one bad day[which generally doesnt turn out so bad as I thought], rather than lots of bits spread across a number of days.

Can you tackle the form, one bit at a time, and reward yourself after each bit has been done?

morethan2 Sun 15-Jan-17 12:29:06

I have developed an aversion/fear of tackling anything that may be difficult or upsetting. An example of this is my pension form. It's been a nightmare. It came late because of the Christmas post. Sickness at work meant there was no one to countersign or advise me. I filled part of it wrongly so have had to get another sent out. They were very reluctant to give me one and that delayed it. It's here now and here I am sitting here feeling sick at the thought of tackling it. There are other things that affect me in the same way. I'm normally really good at facing up to things. I used to be very forthright and would be very confident at standing my ground. I was never one to avoid confrontations if I felt it needed confronting. So what's going on here. It's honestly nothing to do with some deep psychological reason of not wanting to retire. Although it's a bit scary I know it's right and anyway it's been happening long before this. I'm sick with apprehension and it's wearing me out.