Gransnet forums

Ask a gran


(23 Posts)
mischief Fri 24-Feb-17 18:02:16

We try to explain to my gd the reason why she can't do something or why this happens etc., and unfortunately now she asks 'Why?' whenever we say anything and when we give an answer, it's 'Why?' again and so it goes on. Has anyone got an answer to this? A phrase that she can't ask why to, or do we just have to wait until she is through this phase? It's really irritating.

stillaliveandkicking Fri 24-Feb-17 18:07:19

"Because I said why" smile

SueDonim Fri 24-Feb-17 18:10:31

How old is she? If she's a toddler, I'd just resort to the good old 'Because I say so!' grin

BlueBelle Fri 24-Feb-17 18:13:42

Just wait

stillaliveandkicking Fri 24-Feb-17 18:21:31

Or you can always say "I don't know either".

Jayh Fri 24-Feb-17 18:22:59

Say to her.
" I can read your mind and I am going to say something and you are going to answer "Why?" The answer is because I say so! "

Luckygirl Fri 24-Feb-17 18:23:19

Oh - it is a lovely phase - I love it when they do that - just enjoy! smile

She will be a cynical teenager soon and will know it all!

willsmadnan Fri 24-Feb-17 18:47:43

I encouraged DDl to always ask why..... always question every thing she didn't understand or didn't agree with (it was the Swinging Sixties ). I have to say I wasn't quite so liberal-minded with DD2 10 years later! Littles need no encouragement to say the word ..NO is another easy word to learn!
It's really annoying I know but as GPs, most of us have a little more time and (hopefully) patience to deal with the 'Why'. It is important to their future development that they question things. It is irritating , but bear with it. 'All things will pass'smile

petra Fri 24-Feb-17 18:58:29

Some child psychologists think that children keep asking 'why' to keep us engaged in conversation.

Wheniwasyourage Fri 24-Feb-17 19:04:40

You could always try "Why not?" and see what she says?

Iam64 Fri 24-Feb-17 19:06:37

Luckygirl is so right, enjoy the phase, it will soon be over.

willsmadnan -I was a young mother in the early 70's to my first child. I encouraged her to question everything, as you did and like you, I wasn't quite so liberal with my next two children, 13 years later. I suspect it made life much easier for them, as well as for me. Our current youngest grandchildren haven't reached asking Why? They simply throw themselves on the floor and kick their legs and arms if told No, or thwarted. Once they're able to vocalise their frustration, or ask WHY I'm sure the leg kicking will disappear.

Nelliemoser Fri 24-Feb-17 19:29:50

Petra I think that is the main reason for children doing it. Particularly at bedtime funnily enough.

We really don't need psychologists to work that one out. grin

Grannybags Fri 24-Feb-17 21:37:00

My mum used to say "because the Wallypug comes from Why!" which would silence me but my son would just ask why again whenever I tried to use it on him!

thatbags Fri 24-Feb-17 21:44:45

When DD1 aged five asked me why some street lights were still on even though it was day (and not dull), I tried to explain. She said: "I don't know what you're talking about." This happened a lot.

Twenty years later, when DD3 at a similar age asked the same question, I said that the streetlight fairies had missed the train and were late for work. She nodded, perfectly satisfied with that sensible answer.

Hello, gannybags! Are we related? wink

BBbevan Fri 24-Feb-17 21:52:55

DH was walking to the sweet shop with GD1 when she was small . It was a very quiet street and for fun they walked along with one foot in the gutter and one on the pavement. GD ' Why are we doing this Grampa? ' DH ' Because we can' GD always remembers this and if anyone asks why. She always replies ' Because you can' with a little smile

Grannybags Fri 24-Feb-17 21:55:22

Hello thatbags. I'm sure we must be! grin

Jalima Fri 24-Feb-17 22:34:36

My mother used to answer: because Y is a crooked letter and Z's not any better!

Yes, but why? grin

Bellanonna Fri 24-Feb-17 22:48:51

I really enjoy why? I try always to give an answer but sometimes have to ask "why do you think..?" Why not? as mentioned above often does the trick

starbird Sat 25-Feb-17 02:49:50

I think it's great to encourage them to think - so you could try asking them what they think the answer is - whatever they say you can usually find something good in it to praise and agree with, even if you have to follow up with a 'but what about .....'. if their answer is pure harmless imagination you can laugh and say that's as good a reason as any, and leave it at that, or if they make a serious suggestion that is faulty you can point out why it wouldn't work and continue the conversation. Or just say 'ask your father' ! (or mother, or grandfather, teacher, or say we can look it up in a book, or on the Internet when we get home).

grannypiper Sat 25-Feb-17 09:15:02

I gave in trying to answer my 3 and bought them the Dorling Kindersley Encyclopedia which in 1991 cost £30 a lot of money at the time but worth every penny and DGC still use the same copy today, a friend of mine bought a copy a couple of weeks after i did but wouldnt let her children touch it as it was so expensive !The only problem is it doesnt answer the question of WHY they have to go to bedgrin

Pigglywiggly Sat 25-Feb-17 09:26:04

Because them's the rules.

Faye Sat 25-Feb-17 10:46:00

I think DD1's first words were why, all day, every day. Why is the sun there, where does the rain come from, why, why, why. One day she asked what why meant. confused Eight years later when DD2 was a toddler and started asking why, I often used to tell her to ask DD1. blush

NfkDumpling Sat 25-Feb-17 20:07:23

DGS aged three and a half is going through the Why phase. I usually give a proper answer if it's a proper question, but then he gets into a why loop and whatever I say he responds with Why. I've come to the conclusion he's not using it as a proper word, just a response because if I then wait he'll continue with a proper thought out sentence reasoning my original answer.