Newborn grandson eats eats eats

bionicwoman I wasn't promoting any kind of bottle milk, intentionally. I was talking about what happened to me.

Having said that there are lots of kinds of powdered milk these days which are very good and which make a perfect addition to breast milk.

Also look out for post-natal depression.

NO! NO! NO! Yorkshiregel "Breast is best" and no addition is needed. It is ill founded ideas like that that stop women from breast feeding. The milk is not properly established anyway until about 1 month and the more baby sucks the quicker it will be established and the more successful feeding will be. Introducing formula upsets the balance, confuses the baby (feeding from a bottle is a different process) and may lead to abandoning breast feeding. Babies do best on breast milk and as my GP said when I asked him about if my baby was getting enough, "Babies have survived on mother's milk for centuries without any supplements"

I remember in the first few weeks feeling as though I never did anything else but nurse and sleep. Your dd needs practical help, the housework, cooking, etc, and reassurance that this is a natural stage and that things will settle down soon. Her and the baby will be having checkups, and the baby will be weighed. I remember the wonder at the first weighing in of my first when she had gained weight, I was doing something right!
Don't pass your worries onto your daughter, do what you can to help - i.e - laundry (babies seem to create at least one load a day), cooking, cleaning, Take the baby once he has fed, and you do the burping and get him settled so she can go straight back to sleep. These days wont last forever.

trisher Not centuries, but since our hominid heritage...hundreds of thousands of years in the making.

But... some women cannot breastfeed well. There are problems and if the baby is not getting nourishment, then Aptamil First Infant milk is perfectly fine. Our DGD was put onto it at 10 months. There are situations where pumping is not possible either. There are problems like mastitis which can turn into an abscess. Very painful and if the antibiotics don't work, then it has to be surgically drained.

As a former midwife I must comment, although I admit to having not read through the whole thread.

15 days after delivery your daughter has not yet recovered from the birth. A few generations ago she would not have put foot to floor yet - this was when childbirth was called 'confinement' because she would have been expected to stay in bed. Nowadays we know this is very bad for you, but the point is, at least she would have had a rest and not be expected to be happy, jolly, socialising and rushing around getting back to normal. It's much too soon for that!

It is also much too early for your grandson to have settled down into what is expected of him nowadays, to feed at set times, to sleep all the rest of the time and to give his mother a rest. Too many young women are not given a rest because of all the other things they're expected to be.

Let her carry on doing what she's doing best - feeding her baby. Help her as much as you can by doing all the other things that need doing. Make sure she drinks enough - staying hydrated is vital. Provide nourishing and appetising food. Don't even try taking over her job - the job that only she can do - feeding her baby. The time will come when you can have cuddles etc, but not yet.

trisher Sorry to disagree. Sometimes bottle fed is equally as good as my two other children prove.

I did say breast feeding was best IF YOU CAN DO IT, but some women just can't and it is people who say what you just said that make young Mothers feel guilty because they or the child cannot get the hang of it.

Common sense should prevail.

As a nursery nurse/nanny with nearly 40 years experience, I have noticed that this generation tend to hold their babies much more as they appear to be scared of putting them down/leaving them alone; babies don't change over the generations, it's just the advice that does so I would try & suggest that your DD sleeps when the baby does, follow her instincts as much as she can & maybe express some milk so that Dad can help out too. Babies can take ages to settle into the world but I would hope that by 6 weeks some form of routine is becoming evident; your role has to be one of support, ideally the practical kind. It's so hard holding your tongue as back in our day, babies slept and ate when we wanted them to! PS never thought my DD would listen to me but she cares for our DGS in EXACTLY the same way as I did her, so I'm one very proud Mum & Grandma!

I breast fed my 3 children until each was around 6 months (or they had biting teeth!). My DILs have opted for using formula after trying to breast feed and struggling with it. I saw the problems they had and understand and support the decisions they took. However, there are commercial pressures on women to use formula milk, there are none to breast feed (except they save money on all the paraphernalia and formula and its good for the little one and the mother in the long run). One of my DILs was telling everyone that she saw no reason to worry about breast feeding when formula is so easy. I think this is a pity as it undermines those who may want to breast feed. I don't think breast feeding is easy, I often found it painful and even my own mother, who should have known better, kept saying to me, "Are you sure he's getting enough milk?". I'm a wuss - I remember I cried a lot but I had a lot of help from our district nurse. The decision whether or not to breast feed should be made by the mother but there should be much more help for mothers who want to try to breast feed and a little positive press for breast feeding would help, although no one is going to fund it on a similar scale to the companies that produce Aptimil for example or Tommy Tippee. Perhaps in hundreds of years, women will evolve to be without breasts.

It's obvious but all babies are different. I fed my 3 on demand, one at regular 4 hour intervals, one all over the place and one up to 14 times a day. Encourage her to sleep when the baby does, ignore any housework and not feel at all guilty. And to remember, IT WILL PASS.

My DD was desperate to breastfeed but her milk was slow coming in so she supplemented with formula on the advice of her midwife, at 12 weeks she is still supplementing with formula minimally. She was extremely lucky that her midwife and then her health visitor supported her wishes and encouraged it. It meant that when DD needed a bit of help from us, we could feed baby and give DD a few hours well needed break

I have every sympathy with the OP she is worried about her daughter who has a debilitating condition.

BUT I am wondering why all the things we are discussing here are a recent phenomenon. I had my first baby in 1965. I was in hospital 2 days. When my H went back to work at the beginning of the following week I was up , dressed, washing on and had his lunch ready when he came home for it. Never a lie in or anything like that.
My second child was born 6 weeks before my D started school so I was out of the house all fed, dressed etc to walk her to school with the baby in the Pram.
If I had asked my mother for help I would have got a very short reply.

When my D had her first she was living abroad and came home for the birth. The first day the midwife visited she was surprised when my D was dressed. She didn't expect "her new mothers" to be dressed much before lunchtime.

Do new mothers behave this way because they are encouraged or has childbirth and rearing got so much harder than 50 years ago.

I am genuinely interested and reiterate my understanding of the OP with her D's illness.

I'd suggest that as Louisa62's GS has put on three pounds in two weeks there is absolutely nothing wrong with his mother's breast milk, and he's doing fabulously.

I find it sad that people are undermining this new mother's confidence in her ability to breastfeed by suggesting her milk isn't good enough, as it's a first baby; that the baby needs supplementary feeding; that the quality of the mother's milk isn't adequate; that the first milk of a feed isn't as 'nutritious' as the later milk and so on. None of this has any basis in science.

As the OP is doing, her daughter needs support in the other areas of her life, so she can concentrate on herself and the baby. Other ideas, if finances permit, are someone to clean in the house and maybe have delivered some nice ready meals and snacks, to make food as easy as possible.

I'm a mother who has both formula and breastfed, and I have to say, much of the advice I've seen here is what I had to battle against when trying to breastfeed, which I never found easy. It's very sapping of a new mother's confidence to be told your milk is inadequate or poor quality.

Despite us all knowing that breast is best, there are women who struggle with breastfeeding. I was one of them. To add to the fact that he wasn't getting enough on the breast, my son would not take to any of the limited range of dried milks (National Dried or Ostermilk) available to us in the Far East and the midwife recommended that I try him on evaporated milk. My mother, when I told her, was horrified, but he loved it, thrived on it and has suffered no ill effects because of it. When my daughter was born, in an American Forces hospital in Europe, we were not encouraged to breastfeed, but most of the British mothers at least tried. So did I, and failed again.

Annsixty my mother had a totally different experience of having children in the mid-50's. All new mothers were given a home help for six weeks post-nattily, at least in her area of Kent.

The HH came in early to get older children to school, she did the laundry and cleaned the house, and made lunch. In the afternoon, she did the ironing, prepared dinner and collected the children from school before going home. My mum didn't lift a finger for six weeks!

*post-natally, not nattily! Although it was natty!

I disagree NanaMcGeek - my DiL was pressured all the time to breast feed and on n account to give bottle supplements. The baby didnt not put on weight and she was worried sick, feeding non stop till she was sore but the baby getting nothing much. She had expert after expert coming to give advic to no avail and finally after 3 weeks she started to give bottles at which point the baby started to thrive and never looked back. I got so cross that all th advic was DO NOT GIVE A BOTTLE when the baby was obviously not thriving. I had a similar experience with my first child,although the advice given was different, and so have others I know. We all know breast si best but making a mother feel guilty if she cant is no help. I know there were no bottles in the old days, but there were wet nurses, and [resumably many bac it's died, so its no good saying people have always done it.I'm with treisher here.
BTW this is NOT the case for the original post where the baby is thriving but th mother is exhausted. I would agree to help with other things and maybe tak the baby out in the pram/stroller while she sleeps , but no need for a bottle here.

This is a real balancing act, the baby is, thank goodness thriving well and like most 15 day olds not sleeping. Your daughter is not someone in the best of health, in this situation I think I would let her plod on for a bit longer getting all the advantages of breastfeeding BUT if her health really begins to suffer then, after some medical advice she might think about a bottle. I breastfed 2 of my children but the eldest had to be left in hospital and I had to let her have a bottle as back then we had no way of getting to the hospital regularly, she was fine.

My GD is almost 6wks old. She has a brother too. Since my DD had her tongue tie snipped she feeds so much better. Has a stronger sucking action. I have ME so I really admire this girl. She'll be more than tired/exhausted. Have you looked on the Action for ME/CFS website for help? Sending hugs for your DD & babe.

My dad worked in Africa in the late 60's and told me that women, working in the factory, had the baby and came back to work later that day, or the next, and baby came too. I had 2 kids in the early 70's and another 2 in the late 80's, attitudes and advice had certainly changed and apparently (so the experts told me) I had done everything wrong with my first children, hale and hearty evidence to the contrary that they were, all sorts of methods work.
Sleep deprivation, is a torture banned under the Geneva Convention and it's about time someone told babies that!

Hi Louisa, How about a sleep pod for the baby? They replicate the enclosed feeling they had before birth and have very good reviews on mumsnet. I'm buying the one best recommended for my daughter for her 3rd baby, due in a few weeks. She had terrible trouble with the other two, even swaddling didn't work, and breastfeeding them was impossible. This time I'm hoping this will make all the difference. They're quite expensive but I'm quite sure would have an excellent resale value when she's finished with it. Look for sleep pods in John Lewis. The best of luck to your daughter, I can remember being like a zombie through lack of sleep with my girls. Sleep deprivation is torture!

Fore milk and hind milk are different; both are nutritious but hind milk contains more fat so will be more satisfying. That is not a myth.
www.nct.org.uk/parenting/about-breastfeeding

15 days is no time at all to get breastfeeding or a good routine established.
Although I would not recommend changing to a bottle and would only use formula as a very last resort, if breastfeeding does prove impossible it is no good struggling on to the detriment of the health of mother and/or baby and, yes, babies have been breastfed for millennia because there was no alternative - apart from a wet nurse!

I had to read the post again to check that - yes- the dgc is all of two WEEKS Old! I had a big baby too and was not home until he was 12 days old (sp needs though we didn't know at the time.). I remember how tired and disorganised I was -and sore.

All sounds well and normal. I saw on Gransnet suggestion of a side table all set up for the new mum- brilliant idea.

Our families are all abroad and many times we were grateful for that lovely private time as a new family ourselves (DH built up annual leave to take). We muddled through and survived. The midwife and health visitor called for a while.

Just writing here I have a yearning to hold a newborn again.

Going off topic here but am surprised at concern at this stage ofor babys life. I do understand concern for ddnanother as I have autoimmune illness too but would advise supporting ddnanother directly (meals/washing,etc) not taking baby off mum's hands at all. Too soon

pollyperkins I didn't mean to imply that new mums should be pressured into breast feeding like your DiL, that is unacceptable too in my opinion. My DILs didn't breast feed, one because she was put on medication that precluded breast feeding straight after the birth and the other because she did struggle and didn't seem to have much help. I just think that the commercial pressures to use formula are so much in evidence and that breast feeding really has a bad press. It's a personal choice but I believe the odds are weighted in favour of the bottle and many new mums have the expectation of not being able to breast feed these days.
Louisa62 is finding it difficult to see her DD in distress. I agree with many other posters, give lots of practical support to DD and try to make her feel confident in her own choices.

Your DD is sleep deprived and most likely very dehydrated. She needs to increase her fluid intake and desperately needs more sleep If she's exhausted, she's also prone to opportunistic illnesses and should be seen by a doctor just to make sure nothing else is going on. Some babies just like to suckle even when they're not hungry. A pacifier (or 'binkie' as we call it in the US) can be a Godsend. Breast milk can be collected, refrigerated and warmed for night feedings. The downside is that some babies begin to prefer bottle feedings and reject mother's breast. Seasoned mothers often manage to take naps during the day, between feedings/diaper changes however brief. Grandmas and sisters etc. can take turns quieting fussy baby, doing household chores and fixing meals during the day, so new mom can rest. Perhaps baby's dad could bottle feed and change his diaper, once or twice during the night? The good news is that most baby's begin sleeping from 12M to 6A by the time they're about three months old. Best of luck with everything and best to the new family!