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Who pays for BIL funeral?

(20 Posts)
Tippy22 Mon 08-May-17 15:22:48

My BIL has managed to alienate everyone in his immediate family. His 2 daughters and grandchildren don't want anything to do with him. My DH has kept in touch with him albeit sporadically. He is now not in the best of health and the inevitable question of what happens when he dies has cropped up. Does anybody know who would be legally responsible to pay for his funeral. He definitely hasn't made any arrangements and lives a very much hand to mouth existence, lives in a rented house so has no assets.

Jalima1108 Mon 08-May-17 15:29:18

If he was a member of the Armed Forces at any time the Royal British Legion may help with funeral costs.

Or a Public Health Funeral if no-one is willing to pay for it and there is no money whatsoever in the estate to fund it.

Jalima1108 Mon 08-May-17 15:29:57

It is sad that they don't want anything to do with him, especially now he is ill, but perhaps they have their reasons.

Whatthehellhappened Mon 08-May-17 15:52:32

I would imagine his next of kin if he has no estate to pay for it - but if they are not willing to then, as Jalima says, there is state provision - I think I would Google what the criteria for this is.

vampirequeen Mon 08-May-17 15:59:51

No one can be forced to pay for anyone else's funeral. If the deceased has an estate then the cost will be taken from that. If not then the council will provide a Public Health (used to be pauper's) funeral. They will provide a simple cremation that family and friends can attend if they so wish.

Lillie Mon 08-May-17 16:11:15

I'm guessing there is a difference between being unable to pay and unwilling to pay.

Sadly, if the latter is the case then it puts Tippy22 and her DH in a difficult position, especially if the ailing brother has spent his money unwisely or if his children are looking for a cop out. It depends how much you want to take on the responsibility.

Ana Mon 08-May-17 16:11:22

Yes, absolutely right vampirequeen. And from what I've seen of state-provided funerals they're absolutely fine. They'll even provide mourners if there are none to be had...sad

Lillie Mon 08-May-17 16:24:20

But isn't the tax payer is paying for them?

Anya Mon 08-May-17 16:29:32

Good point about not wanting to pay and not being able to pay. Alienated or not his family ought to pay for his funeral.

I was in exactly the same position about 18 months ago when my sister died. She too had alienated every person she knew. I didn't visit her when she was dying but I did feel I had to pay for her funeral and her headstone.

That is just my opinion because it's what I did.

Norah Mon 08-May-17 16:30:29

Who pays: his estate or the state provides. No worries.

Tippy22 Mon 08-May-17 16:51:02

Thank you for all your comments. If we were in a position to pay for his funeral then we would do so but sadly we're not but I also think everybody deserves a decent "send off" no matter how awkward they are.

stillaliveandkicking Mon 08-May-17 16:54:59

My sisters and I had this problem, we are all non religious so we did this.

Arranged for the body to be collected from the hospital, cremated and ashes dropped to one of my sisters, total cost £900. We were able to split this cost 4 ways.

Izabella Mon 08-May-17 16:59:55

Jalima is correct but all the forces have a benevolent fund for events such as this. THe RAF one is here. [email protected] Address: RAF Benevolent Fund, 67 Portland Place, London W1B 1AR. If he was in one ot the other services they will put you in touch with the correct person.

stillaliveandkicking Mon 08-May-17 17:47:03

Donate to medical science? thats what I want.

Izabella Tue 09-May-17 09:19:30

Yes but medical schools are extremely picky these days who they accept. As funeral prices have risen some areas have more donations than they can cope with.

suzied Tue 09-May-17 09:24:20

No one has to have a funeral do they? As in some sort of service . Presumably just cost of cremation. Ashes could be scattered on the garden at the crem.

harrigran Tue 09-May-17 09:39:42

Saw one in the Times the other week, 'no funeral at his request'.

Jalima1108 Tue 09-May-17 10:03:46

I'm not sure how much a cremation costs, though, does anyone know? Does it vary from area to area? Someone would have to pay.
Sometimes a funeral is delayed by months whilst the family tries to work out who will pay or how to pay for it.

Of course, he may have money put aside - but it's not something anyone could ask without approaching the subject obliquely.

glammanana Tue 09-May-17 10:23:38

stillaliveandkickingMedical Schools/Universities have to be notified some time in advance of your intentions and have you registered with them,and they are strict about the weight of the body etc and certain illnesses as cause of death,we have been registered with our Local University for the past 6 yrs after deciding to go down this route not because of the cost but just personal choice its not something you can just decide to do at the last minute.

starbird Tue 09-May-17 11:01:07

If you have a cremation with no service, and nobody attends it is cheaper - the body is delivered to the crem and they fit the cremation in when there is a gap in the schedule, often early in the morning. Also, if the immediate relatives have no money, the DWP will pay something towards a funeral, maximum is about £1400, this might just cover the coffin, cheap cremation as above, and funeral director fees.

If all the family disown him, the Social Services may step in and arrange it, using a local funeral director who will get no fees - they all have to take turns doing 'pro bono' cases with homeless people etc.