Am I right to feel really embarrassed and scared? advice needed

Thank you for the replies. To answer your questions, I had some tests done with a nurse before, the doctor appointment was separate. I don't know I'm a bit worried I didn't pay properly attention to what my GP said at the time. She did talk about a follow up appointment and it's booked but she didn't mention anything about how long I might have had it - I think. All sorts was going through my head at the time. I feel very stupid for not having asked at the time. Do they make notes about these things in your journal, maybe I can ask the next time.
We haven't talked about other partners, perhaps I'm being naïve but I just assumed it was just me and him. I haven't seen him since however sometimes we do spend a few days out of contact so apart from talking about recent events we haven't talked about this. Am I wrong to want to 'clear' this up before talking to him about it?

I find it rather strange that your Doctor would simply tell you that you have an STI then just give you a prescription, with no further advice or follow-up. Sounds to me you need to go back and ask all those questions to illicit the information which should have been offered to you as a matter of routine. i.e. What type of infection is it, was it definitely sexually transmitted, how long have you likely had it etc. If you have no confidence in your GP, go to an STI clinic where you will certainly be offered more information. Either way, at the very least your current partner needs to know, so he can be tested. If it turns out that you caught it from him that opens up a whole new can of worms, I'm afraid...

I certainly wouldn't feel embarrassed about talking about it. If your ex or your new partner have passed it onto you, you have every right to know who is the culprit and act accordingly. Hope you feel better soon and if it transpires that your new guy is sleeping around, I'd kick him into touch, don't sell yourself short just to have a fella in your life, it's not worth it.

I would think it is a recent thing, if you have only just noticed the symptoms having said that women can carry STis and not know it. Your partner may have other women in his address book.

Hi Lou - please come back and let us know how you get on. I admire your bravery in speaking about this in the first place and you won't be the only one.

I agree with welsh - maybe consider visiting a STI clinic - they will have much more knowledge than your gp.

From what you tell us it seems it must have come from your current sexual partner. As he could re-infect you you will have to mention it to him. No-one else needs to know. In fact it is nobody else's business. Good luck it happens to many of us. Easily treated.

I hope that it is one of the treatable ones. If so , get it dealt with and move on - with sensible precautions in the future!!
If however it is herpes (I'm presuming from the tone of your message that it is not AIDS) then you are stuck with it and it is a completely different issue to deal with. Once infected with herpes you have it for life. You probably know that the cold sore virus is herpes, and most of us will have had one on rare occasions. The rest of the time it lies dormant and you would never know. There is lots of information on the topic. No good comes from sticking your head in the sand. Yes it feels more embarrassing when one is older but just deal with it and move on. Best of luck

Lou, welcome. What an awful situation but if you are close enough to be having sex with this man then you should be brave enough to have this conversation with him. Bet you warned your teenagers about safe sex ! Get it sorted then have a great time with your new man

I had a UTI which was misdiagnosed as an STI after my third child was born. My GP was a bit of a dick chauvinist. He was more concerned that I hadn't started to have sex with my husband again even though DD2 was three months old.

If it is an STI there is no reason to be embarrassed. You or your partner could have been infected before you and he met. He needs to get checked and if necessary treated because if he has it then he'll simply re-infect you.

Did you have a test to ascertain it was an STI? I ask this as DGD had an infection and the GP suggested it was an STI which annoyed DGD as she said she knew it was not - so we went to a walk in clinic for a check - the clinic dealt with all sorts of problems. She had a test and the results were very quick and as DGD had said it was a deep seated UTI which needed strong antibiotics.

lou866 I sympathise with your feelings. When with my ex I had to go for a test, as he had problems. Never told me. It was one of the worst weeks of my life, but TG I was clear.
As for your infection, hopefully it's something that will respond to treatment.
As others have said, you'll have to be brave and tell your partner. A very difficult situation.

Well it seems to me the only way is to confront it head on. For a start you need to tell your new partner as if he's been infected by you then he will need treatment. If he is the likely carrier than some talking needs to be done!!!

If it turns out to be your ex. then telling him or not is your decision

Good luck. All being well this time next year it will all be behind you.

Surely they gave you advice when this was diagnosed? Doctors diagnose people with embarrassing illnesses frequently so they will not be shocked. Or search online, where you will fund many sources of information and advice.

The first person to talk to is your current partner so that he can get checked. Also any other contacts you may have had recently.

Speak to you doctor about how long you may have had the infection. If they can tell it is very recent, then your ex-husband is eliminated as a possible source. If they think it is more long-standing (I've no idea of this is possible, just throwing out what comes into my mind as possibly helpful), then you need to speak to both your ex and your current partner. Be as up front and factual as you can, e.g: "I have been diagnosed as having an STI. It came from one of my two sexual partners. You need to know this. I am telling my ex/partner too."
Then they need to get checked and treated if necessary.

That's just the practical side. Someone else may come along with advice on the emotional side. Good luck.