Really upset about this

Thank you this has reassured me loads and really made me realise that my husband unfortunately still needs antibiotics because his CRP numbers are high at 200 today

I asked why today but the doctors say they do not know where the infection is based

I ask the doctors a lot of questions because I feel responsible for my husbands wellbeing..do you think that this makes Doctors nervous about making mistakes and this is why we have been in hospital for so long, (three and a bit months?)

He obviously needs to be there or else they would be discharging him as soon as they possibly can.

My daughter spent 13 weeks in hospital while they treated her and found solutions. We found the doctors/ consultants who were higher up the hierarchy were more willing to answer questions than foundation doctors who clearly were less confident and so a bit more defensive.

No, Serkeen, the reason your husband has been in hospital for so long is because he needs to be there for the treatment he is getting. They would be delighted to have him well enough to go home.

Your questions won't make them nervous of making mistakes because they have had years of training and experience (unless you are an famous expert consultant who has been dealing with patients like your husband for the last forty years and you know far more than they do about it - I don't think you said that, did you?)

They have had training and experience in dealing with anxious relatives, too, so all your questions have been asked by someone else before you.

I think it's entirely reasonable for you to ask the doctors questions. I'm sure they will send your husband home as soon as he is well enough.

It's a very long time to be in hospital and visiting must be really draining but hopefully it will end soon....Chin up!

No, if there is someone at home to care for the patient they are glad to discharge them asap - provided their condition/medication etc is under control.

this is why we have been in hospital for so long
You're not staying all night too, are you when you say we?

I know I did when my young child was in but wouldn't for an adult.

Yes perhaps you are right I should email the hospital about the cleanliness..

I ask the doctors a lot of questions because I feel responsible for my husbands wellbeing..do you think that this makes Doctors nervous about making mistakes and this is why we have been in hospital for so long, (three and a bit months?)

Years ago when I was in hospital I remember being most impressed to see the ward sister and a staff nurse scrubbing down a bed frame and the mattress with great vigour and thoroughness. I said to another nurse 'my word, I am impressed with the cleanliness in here!' and she muttered 'MRSA'.

So please speak to the sister in charge of the ward Serkeen.

When I was in hospital last year I was really impressed at the attitude to cleaning. It must have come down from the top. A cheerful team seemed to scrub down every surface they could find!

The cleaner may work for a private firm but the sister is in charge of the ward and the welfare of her patients including the hygiene and cleanliness. Speak to the sister - if the ward is dirty that is simply not acceptable.

Contact someone at the top. Cleaning around your own DH doesn't solve the problem for everyone else. It is the attitude of the cleaners' employers which will improve things.

I've been following your thread and sympathise with you. However, I do think that it might be construed as patronising to speak as you did to the cleaner. He could well be highly educated and doing the job as a fill-in and even if he isn't I doubt he'd have been thrilled to be spoken to in this way. He will be part of a team of cleaning staff and won't be responsible directly for uncleanliness.

I think you'd be better emailing the hospital with your concerns.

Well this hospital is absolutely filthy. I keep cleaning around him.

I thought long and hard about the right approach to deal/complain about how dirty and complacent they were with cleaning

What I eventually did was I spoke to the cleaning guy, yes guy, doing the actual cleaning and explained to him in the most gentle voice I could muster that his job was an extremely important one and in many ways just as important as the Doctors job, as keeping germ/infections down saved lives.

He was taking it all with interest and then kind of gave a smile as if to say, yeah you know what, my job is important.

I can only hope this works because I am afraid to complain Because I'm not sure if it will do any good.

Anyways he has now had the Peritoneal fitted which is a pipe inserted into his near his belly button, it actually protrudes from his stomach and awaiting his first dose of dialysis today.

He was a bit shocked when he saw it as he and both I thought that it would b smaller, but its a fair size in length.

I just said, oh its fine the benefits of having it are going to be amazing, but to be honest I did feel bad for him

I hope they manage him better than the previous hospital. At least they'll be on top of his fluid intake. (let's hope!)

Just to add DH had kidney issues prior to the heart operation and dialysis was on the cards for him possibly at some point.

Hi everyone

We have now been transferred to a different hospital, one that can deal with his kidney issues after having antibiotics and diuretics etc.

They have held up well but fluid that was caused by the heart operation have not completely gone because the kidneys are not working as well as they need to get rid of all of the fluids.

The plan now is to have dialysis.

I also meant to ask. You say your DH is "advising them of the best way forward" - does he have medical experience?

I have been away for a few days, has there been any progress?
Did you resolve the fluids problem too?

Thank you very much

I hope things improve for your DH and for you very soon Serkeen

Cold when I was in hospital some time ago another patient was going round 'helping' the nurses by tucking in patients, fetching water for them, chatting etc. It then turned out she had meningitis.

Nezumi65 thank you for your thoughts to be totally honest I have had so much to deal with I have let that go.

DH still in hospital now after over ten weeks!!

He was taken off antibiotics after 8 eights weeks and exactly a week later, last Friday, he got a high temperature and was attended to by a few doctors and nurses and then put back on antibiotics for apparently two bugs that were in his blood.

Soo much has happened that every time he is near to discharge something happens.

I am so tired of asking questions and the thing is he sees a different doctor every day and they all have their own and different opinions and it really does drive me crazy.

They change their minds about treatment on a regular basis and my husband is advising them of the best way forward because when they come into to see my husband they never read the notes and so they know not what treatment or scans he has had and my husband has to point out that he has already had that particular scan

Really I am just keeping my chin up at the moment and just hoping for the best.

This sounds awful (the ward I mean). If your dh is on limited fluids no-one should be giving him extra - no matter what he says to them or how 'difficult' he is. If he is shouting for tea it sounds as if he doesn't understand why his fluids have been limited. A coloured jug may help him understand.

I can't believe any medic would be remotely worried by a boil on the bum - if they need black humour to get through lancing a boil they are in the wrong job. jokey conversations are fine out of easeshot NOT anywhere patients or families may overhear. Offloading in public is never appropriate. If there is any chance he is developing a bed sore they should be taking it very seriously.

Have a look here at NHS values www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/thenhs/about/Pages/nhscoreprinciples.aspx

There is a lot of emphasis within the NHS now about things like dignity & compassion. Recruitment focuses on values & senior staff staff should be emphasising those. The poor communication & attitudes within the ward needs to be highlighted.

Just wondering how things are now serkeen? How is your OH and have you had any more feedback from the hospital?

When I was on a ward for several weeks after my accident sometimes it was other peoples' well meaning visitors that would breach the medical orders by filling water jugs and giving out food behind the nurses' backs when they thought the nurses were being "mean" by ignoring requests, moans and whining.

Once a visitor from another bed snuck a desert for a diabetic patient who was complaining about the diabetic alternative she had been given. Mind you this patient's own visitors were just as bad - smuggling sweets and biscuits into the ward even though the consultant had warned she risked losing her leg if she didn't get her blood sugar under control.