Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

Charlie Gard

(742 Posts)
devongirl Sun 09-Jul-17 18:18:35

My heart absolutely bleeds for his parents, but I can't help thinking it's time to let him die in peace..

Anniebach Fri 28-Jul-17 13:05:20

No Elegran, you accused me of saying uncaring people, I did not, yes hospices have deeply caring people, fact, how do you claim this means I said hospitals do not have deeply caring people ?

Elegran Fri 28-Jul-17 12:49:17

Not relevant, Annie but I think your spell-checker typed Elegran instead of Eglantine.

Eglantine19 Fri 28-Jul-17 12:37:56

You said a peaceful hospice with deeply caring people over a bustling hospital implying the hospital would not have deeply caring people. Perhaps you didn't mean that? I think there is also a love so strong that lets them go.

devongirl Fri 28-Jul-17 12:32:24

Completely agree, Annie, and so sorry for your losses.

I think posters are really intending only to defend GOSH, who have had a lot of bashing over the last weeks.

Anniebach Fri 28-Jul-17 12:28:28

Sunseeker, thank you, there are several posters who have buried their babies, difficult to explain not only the grief but the 'what if' and the empty arms Paddyann spoke so movingly of. When you have carried the child for nine months it is your child, the love so strong you would do anything to try to save the tiny treasure . Both Paddyann and I have defended these parents because we know their distress, fear, a few other posters have defended them too but more have critcise them.

I hope Charlie's last moments will be in the arms of his parents and peaceful

Anniebach Fri 28-Jul-17 12:17:36

And Elegran, my cousin did work there for years, now her daughter is a doctor there

Anniebach Fri 28-Jul-17 12:15:27

Eglantine , please do not post untruths , I said a bustling hospital, no mention of uncaring staff, apology please

sunseeker Fri 28-Jul-17 12:08:41

Not having had children I can't begin to comprehend the distress of little Charlie's parents. I have been touched by the posts from those of you who lost children - my condolences to you all, I can't imagine the pain you must suffer. My hope is that Charlie slips away peacefully surrounded by his loving parents and grandparents.

Eglantine19 Fri 28-Jul-17 11:32:10

Annie, knowing the provision that GOSH makes for the death of a child and the support that they give to family members I was surprised that you said it would take place with uncaring staff in a bustling hospital. As I said that has not been my experience. It sounded more like somebody venting an uninformed opinion. But if you have had the experience of a death at GOSH of course you are entitled to tell us about it

Desdemona Fri 28-Jul-17 11:23:54

The cuddle cot idea is an excellent one. Maybe it has been suggested to them, lets hope so.

Gagagran Fri 28-Jul-17 11:20:12

I have not seen any mention of letting baby Charlie go home after he has died in a refrigerated cuddle cot. There was a press report not long ago about them and one bereaved Mum had her baby with her for 16 days after death.

Surely some compassionate person could suggest this to Connie who just wants her baby home to say her goodbyes in privacy. Chris too.

Anniebach Fri 28-Jul-17 11:17:47

Stay away from public view? What a cruel thing to say, do they have leprosy?

Anniebach Fri 28-Jul-17 11:16:07

Paddyann, how cruel, I send you hugs . When mine died I was told - well you have two , seems I wasn't suppose to love the two who died .

wildswan16 Fri 28-Jul-17 11:08:43

Whether we like it or not, the picture these parents are painting of the dedicated, world first-class paediatricians and medical staff we are fortunate to have at GOSH is not what I want to see. They are grieving, yes, but they have appear to have totally lost their way and their reasoning. Charlie is in the best possible place and I cannot understand why they don't disappear from public view and stay a little while with their son and say their goodbyes.

Nothing would have been different whenever it was or was not done. They need to accept that. The US doctor had nothing to offer and only gave them false messages.

paddyann Fri 28-Jul-17 11:03:34

can I just say that there are doctors who only see patients/conditions and not PEOPLE .I know because I've encountered a few.When my baby girl was dying I was told by the doctor to "go home and forget her and try again" the "next baby will be healthy ...an athlete or a ballerina" I remember the exact words as if it was yesterday ,Heartless,he didn't see a much wanted child on life support , or that it was a second loss for us ,he was ready to move on to his next patient .There are still doctors/nurses with that attitude around today ...

Anniebach Fri 28-Jul-17 10:52:39

Eglantine, with respect I will talk about any subject I choose, within the rules of the forum . Yes I have visited that hospital several times.

Many have posted here about this hospital, will you question them all to find out if they have - even visited there ?

Eglantine19 Fri 28-Jul-17 10:38:53

Annie, have you ever had a child at GOSH or even visited one there. I don't recognise the picture you are painting of this hospital from my own experience and unless you know otherwise I think you shouldn't be talking like this about a place you don't know.

Luckygirl Fri 28-Jul-17 10:38:32

I suspect that this poor baby will not know whether he is in a hospice or the hospital. But he might be traumatized by being moved about. There is no right answer to all this; but certainly apportioning blame for an act of nature is not appropriate. We have to trust that everyone (except the media) have tried to act in the best interests of the baby as they see it.

There is no reason to think that the doctors at GOSH have acted badly - what would they gain by this? Nothing.

These are parents in distress and looking for someone to blame. It is understandable; but we should not collude with that blame. Charlie's Army did that and simply prolonged the agony for all.

Anniebach Fri 28-Jul-17 09:59:33

What is unrealistic to choose a peaceful hospice with deeply caring people for their child to die over a bustling hospital

annsixty Fri 28-Jul-17 09:47:56

I think their intelligence and reasoning and all sensible thought have now gone out of the window in the terrible situation they are now in and are facing in the next few days ( and weeks and months and years)

Anniebach Fri 28-Jul-17 09:43:12

I think the parents have the intelligence to think for themselves.

annsixty Fri 28-Jul-17 09:30:58

I never thought the parents were selfish, just unrealistic and latterly misguided by others who jumped on the bandwagon regardless of the effects and the inevitable outcome.

harrigran Fri 28-Jul-17 09:29:58

I think going to the hospice is ill advised but the parents are determined to have the last word. I too believe that maybe they thought the hospice would allow the baby to remain indefinitely.
With a condition like this there is a possibility of further children being affected so I do hope they spend the money on research into this genetic condition.

nightowl Fri 28-Jul-17 09:21:19

I don't think that will happen Devorgilla. Sadly I think people are already bored with the story and ready to move on to something else. This weeks news, next weeks fish and chip paper. How quickly was the Ashya King story forgotten, when the parents in that case were actually arrested for breaching a court order? That could certainly have led to litigation and backlash but it doesn't seem to have done so.

For the parents of course it will never be over.

NfkDumpling Fri 28-Jul-17 09:20:22

I have been following this thread and would just like to say how wonderful it's been to hear all the differing opinions, the knowledge and reasoned discussions without the slagging off and nastiness which other threads, generally the political ones, degenerate into.

I started by feeling only that Charlie should have been allowed to die and was unable to understand why he hadn't been and thought his parents selfish in the extreme. Now I can see the other points of view and the complexities. Poor Charlie. Poor parents.