Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

Social Services - children

(14 Posts)
NewgranGill Fri 18-Aug-17 16:14:27

Hello again wa in ladies. Carrying on from my post I'm July re Family Court and DD being told to go to a refuge. Well DGS has been taken into Care. I have been beside myself about this and DH is in bits too.

I was looking after him nigh then while DD in court and received a phone call to come straight back as he was being taken away - it was horrendous.

Anyway there is nothing more I can do about it but try to make the best of it. I am being allowed to see him for 2 hour every month but he cannot leave the contact centre grounds we can go outside but there aren't any swings (which he would happily spend an hour on) so my question to all you wise women is how on earth do I fill 2 hours with a 2 yr old in a strange room. He's not big enough to take to the kitchen, I can't get up and down off the floor so I'ma bit stuck for ideas right now. I will take a small football if the weather is good but other than that my mind has turned wool.

Hoping for help from all - thanks hmm

NewgranGill Fri 18-Aug-17 16:17:17

Sorry about the typos, was a bit sniffly while typing.

Teacheranne Fri 18-Aug-17 16:35:27

My grandson, aged 2 3/4 loves playing with cars, duplo, play dough and activity books. He lives in the US so he did not know me really when I went to visit my son last month. I had to play with him a lot so he got to know me but, like you, I cannot get down on the floor. He loved it when I made up little stories using hand and finger puppets. If you have a lap top or iPad, you could download some short cartoons and educational videos to share with him if he gets a bit tired. I found my grandson could only concentrate for a short time before we had to do something different. You could take a soft ball or bean bag to play with indoors, hide the bean bag is good fun! Or Ispy with colours. I hope you get lots of other ideas and can enjoy your contact sessions, you must be really heartbroken now

Cherrytree59 Fri 18-Aug-17 16:36:52

How sad
Hope it is resolved asap
My gut reaction is kisses and cuddles
But you need fun time for your little one.
Are you allowed to take toys with you that are suitable for a ?2 year old

Cherrytree59 Fri 18-Aug-17 16:49:29

Sorry posted too soon!
I find that my local charity shop has always got some very reasonably priced toys and books .
Finger or hand puppets .
My 2yr old DGS loves stickers and crayons
We also have an etch a sketch board which is a popular toy.
There will probably be a table so cars trains etc can be whizzed up and down
If at anytime he seems upset then a balloon to blow up whipped out of the pocket is s good distraction.

Newgrangill My heart goes out to youflowers

M0nica Fri 18-Aug-17 19:38:25

What about books? He can sit on your lap while you cuddle him and interact over picture and story books. There are so many lovely books for children of this age, I cannot make any recommendations. But counting and nursery rhymes are fun

If money is tight, charity shops will always have a very good selection.

suzied Fri 18-Aug-17 19:49:38

How about hide the teddy in the grounds? Give you a chance to walk around. Could have a teddy bears picnic. Maybe a few little sweetie treats. Make a card or picture for you .

Jalima1108 Fri 18-Aug-17 19:55:45

Little cars that are friction driven - you pull them back and then they whiz across the floor and sometimes bash into the skirting board. Not expensive but great fun for 2 year olds. And you could operate one from a chair (I know!).

Outside - Bubbles, ours always loved bubbles (and still do!), they can blow them or you can blow them and they run and 'catch' them. You can buy very large bubble containers cheaper than this in some places, this is just to give you the idea:

cornergran Sat 19-Aug-17 08:13:00

I'm sorry for you all newgran. Just a thought about contact centres, please check rules on phones, tablets and the like. Some forbid them, or anything that could connect to the internet or take photos. In terms of play things, I agree, cars are good in fact anything with wheels, a couple of books with characters your grandson likes for tired or quiet times, those very useful colouring books with special felt tips that only show colour on the image, sorry can't recall the proper name. A drink and small snack can be good, and yes bubbles, your grandson can chase them you can sit down. Just go and love him, it's hard to be so constrained but you can keep your relationship alive. Wishing you well.

Moneyboss Sat 19-Aug-17 09:25:38

Something to dress up in while he's playing. if you take all your bits and bobs in a cardboard box, he'll probably play with that too. Good luck with your contact.

Nelliemoser Sat 19-Aug-17 13:18:09

Get some books and read to him . Sing songs.
Bubbles are ok until the two yr old insists on "doing it himself." hmm
It is more difficult if your mobilty is poor.

NewgranGill Sun 20-Aug-17 11:02:50

Thank you.

I had already though of bubbles as I had used these to distract him in the court waiting area.

Yesterday I went out and bought a small football, a book of short stories for boys - dinosaurs and the like, a small blackboard and extra chalks and some hopping frogs - the kind you press and they flip.

I shall buy a few other things for my visit in October and swap them around a bit.

Not sure what will be acceptable snacks as he likes/d cheesey wotsits and there may be objections about the bright orange colouring so will play this by ear.

Thank you all so much smile

Nannarose Sun 20-Aug-17 11:11:50

These are all very good ideas, and I'm sure you don't need to be told to have lots in reserve.

Depending on the nature of the contact centre, either contact them, or ask the Social Worker if you can ask some questions. That way, in advance, you will know what is allowed, also what is provided (my experience is that a lot of the toys mentioned will actually be available)

Two things to remember:
First contact is trial and error. Don't be despondent if it feels awkward, you will get used to organising it.
However strange it feels, however much you wish it were different, do keep it up. Talking to kids who have been brought up in care, such regular contact makes a huge difference to how they see themselves and what their outcomes may be.

Good luck!

Nannarose Sun 20-Aug-17 11:13:50

I just thought that I would add that the contact centre staff are usually very helpful, they want to make this visit pleasant for all.
If they seem a bit 'remote' at all, it is usually because they don't want to get in the way.