How do I start to make friends

Wow Rosemary what a lot of useful information! I am sure Eileen will find it very helpful.
May I say "Well Done"!

It would be helpful if people gave an idea of the area they live in then people could give ideas or make suggestions .

I've looked up what's going on in Streatham Eileen66. Here are some links for you to look at.
www.streathamtheatre.org.uk - says they have regular meets and you can do classes or help back stage.

Here is a meditation/yoga class which might help if you are feeling depressed.
www.meetup.com/Free-Meditation-Yoga-South-London/

Or what about this one?

Club Streatham 55+ Activity and Social Programme

390 Streatham High Road, Streatham, SW16 6HX
Telephone: 020 8677 5758
Updated: 21/01/2016
Sessions designed to keep you fit and active, opportunities to socialise and meet new friends.
Email:[email protected]
Website:www.better.org.uk/leisure/streatham-ice-and-leisure-centre/page/288
Sector: Public Description:

Are you 55 or over? Want to take some first steps towards being more active, but not sure where or how to start?

Our Club Activities are just for you!

Hope you find something you would like to do.

What about volunteering to do a local Gransnet or Mumsnet? They are looking for people at the moment I think.

When I moved, I made myself do a "Talking to Strangers" challenge. Everyday I went out (I walk a lot) and said hello to somebody or made a comment as I passed. It was really scary to begin with but it did make me get used to it. I would think up things to say - about the weather or some local event or about the person's dog - e.g. asking the dog's name or about their garden. I have had some really good conversations as a result and am now on casual chatting terms with quite a few people as I go down the nearby roads.

After a month I found that it began to be not so scary. I don't do it every day now but I still do it quite a lot. It has given me a bit more faith in human nature.

Glad to be of help, Merigreen!

I've always enjoyed NWR, it's been a great way of meeting people whenever we've moved. It keeps the old brain functioning, too!

SueDonim, Thanks for the link to the National Women's Register looks very interesting. I am about to return to the UK and think this group would suit me very well, a range of ages is good. I enjoy my age group friends but always a good idea to make new younger friends. Even if to help me across the road in later years

Granpe, U3a means University of the Third Age. Just right for us Grannetters !
Be prepared though that some groups are full. It depends on your area how busy the groups are.
Good luck, feel the fear and do it anyway

I agree with Sue that NWR is a great way to meet people. I made quite a few friends when I moved back to the UK there. It is less formal than WI or Town Women's guild as we meet in each others homes, decide the programme between us and tend to be in smaller groups. I found a lot of like minded people there and found them very welcoming.

Anya
The OP did reply @03.32. A thank you might have been nice for the people who've taken the trouble to help and advise.

Finding special friends takes time and persistence. I moved here 4 years ago and have tried lots of things and now feel part of the community and have a number of friends I can meet for coffee or walks. Volunteering or befriending someone else is a better than going out looking for friends. Putting yourself into situations where you meet people of different ages is also good for extending your range of acquaintanships. I like helping in the NT garden as I meet the staff who are of mixed age and other volunteers. Many areas have a clearing house for voluntary roles. Political parties or groups like Friends of the Earth are good places to make cross-age friendships with similar outlooks and they are always looking for people who will do various tasks. My most recent way of meeting people is via the network that collects stuff for refugees and supports our tiny and very new Syrian community. The women and children need help with their English and in turn you will get plied with snacks and Arabic coffee. So focus on giving and not getting and eventually you will find that you are making friends.

I have returned to the village where I lived in the seventies (when I was married, now divorced.) I had thought I would be able to 'slip back in' with the friends I've kept in touch with but have found it immensely difficult and have realised (silly me!) that they (of course!) have 'moved on' and got their own circle of friends. And of course, as I'm a 'single woman' I rarely get invited out with the 'couples'! I've had various 'gatherings' here, but not gone to any others. I have introduced myself to all the neighbours, inviting them for tea/coffee/wine.... but not ONE of them have taken me up on it and I've now (next week) been here a whole year!!!! I've joined WI, a sewing group, I volunteer, but I still feel I don't have any 'special' friends. I do realise it's difficult for some people to have the confidence to walk into a room full of people they don't know, but luckily that doesn't apply to me as I'm fairly outgoing, thank goodness.
I do think, as lots have said above, that your best thing to do to start with is volunteering - again, as said above, most charity shops are crying out for people!! Good luck!

Good point, Anya. Life doesn't come to you. You need to get out and meet it halfway.

No you don't need to have gone to University to join the U3A
Does your local council do health walks?
Being outside is a good booster.
Which subjects did you enjoy at school or wished you could have done? Try to do one of these.
Volunteer
Talk to your doctor about 'depression'

Join a Gransnet coffee morning.

See if there is one in your area.
If not, then maybe start one up.
You are already on the site, see who is interested.

Good luck.

I think you nees to choose several activities that interest you and friends will just appear. Are you interested in politics? Not just party politics but local pressure groups, civic socities residents associations? Any of these welcome new people who are willing to lend a hand.

Then the cultural stuff. Many good suggestions. Im just going to join a Scottish Country Dancing group as Im invited to a massive black tie cheili and want to dance.

Then there is exercise. Our local gym does great daytime classes for the likes of us. People trotting off afterwards for coffee all the time. You feel quite different after a class I assure you. Say yes to lots of things. Friends emerge. Good luck.

I agree that walking a dog at the same time every day leads to meeting and greeting the same people. I can certainly recommend it!
Good Luck Eileen xx

By that I mean, discuss what has been suggested. If eileen finds it hard to get out and lacks confidence then talking here, online, is a good place to start.

In the words of the song 'Come on, Eileen' !!

It's about participating. A good start would be for the OP to come back and take part in this thread.

Thanks for all the suggestions. Hope Eileen66 is finding them useful. It is very difficult making a first step and I agree volunteering is a great way and you have a role to do. I appreciate the info too...I think working away is the biggest obstacle because most groups assume you have time in the day. But thanks very much and I was delighted to have a message from someone in Beccles which is about 16 miles from me!

I live in Streatham SW 16 London

jansuffolk you're near me! I'm in my mid-fifties too & work part-time. We moved to the area 10 years ago and I found it took longer than I thought it would to make new friends. PM me if possible, maybe we could meet for coffee.

Eileen 66

where do you live Eileen, I too am looking for a friend to chat to

People like to talk about themselves so show an interest in everyone you meet. The ones who then ask about you may become your friends. So you have to go out there & push your comfort zone. The U3A is a marvellous organisation.
Go for it.

Yes google U3A and the area you live. Ive never looked back. Also Meet Ups and the area you live. Ramblers association, I to am 67 and never imagined in my retirement I would have so many friends with the groups ive joined, I did my first solo cruise in May and met a lovely friend who plays Bridge, so we are having a week next year in Torquay playing the game with afternoons off for good behaviour. Ive just introduced another friend to learn Bridge and she starts lessons in September she is 72! your never too old to learn anything, its just a state of mind, GooD LUCK eileen66